Why married women look for sex partners

I am 28 years old, divorced for three years, and I work at a public enterprise. I developed feelings for my boss. I really regret it; that night, I shouldn't have gone for a walk alone with him. It was after that when I realized I had fallen for him, deeply and thoroughly. One day, he tried to get close to me and touched my ear. I could feel his breathing become slightly rapid, and his eyes were somewhat mesmerized. At the time, I was very clear-headed, outwardly calm. He is a married man, so I let go of his hand. He didn’t force anything, and we both went back home.

Since then, the situation from that night keeps replaying in my mind, and I began to miss him. When he came looking for me again, I was overjoyed and unconditionally fell into his arms.

Now our relationship is such: when he needs me, he directly calls me to come to the main office. Otherwise, there's no contact between us, not even a phone call. This year on Valentine's Day, he ordered flowers for me, but he didn’t personally deliver them because he was afraid someone would see. So, I just picked them up from the flower shop myself. Also, he casually brought a rose for his young wife (I only knew this because she mentioned it during one of their chats). Sometimes, I don’t understand what he’s thinking. I also question myself, what does this mean? Am I too cheap? I don’t know why, but I find myself attached to this nearly 40-year-old woman, knowing fully well that his feelings towards me are not sincere, yet I still willingly give myself to him.

Recently, I've thought about quitting my job, but I'm somewhat reluctant. Where should I go from here?

Response:

Your words vividly reflect your relationship with him. He only seeks you out when he needs you. What does that make you? Aren’t you just a tool for him outside of his marriage?

Are you so moved by a bouquet of flowers on Valentine's Day? To put it bluntly, the money spent on those flowers wouldn't even be enough for him to hire a high-end escort. So, technically, you're cheaper than an escort. I’m not saying this to hurt you, but to make you realize that this isn't worth it.

Because you're willing to lower yourself to be with him, if you were a person with self-respect, and if you wanted to maintain your dignity as a lover without crossing the boundary into deeper emotional involvement, the outcome would not be like this.

If you keep lowering your standards, will he still value you properly? Don't believe his empty promises. Remember, men's vows are often made to be broken. Focus on your own happiness and family stability instead.

If you're worried that he might fire you once you distance yourself from him, then find ways to capture evidence of his inappropriate behavior towards you. While this might seem underhanded, dealing with dishonest people sometimes requires such measures.

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