Foolish childhood

by liutiany on 2009-11-29 17:15:23

In the first grade, I thought a centimeter on the blackboard was longer than one on the homework book. I even argued with my neighbor's fourth-grade big brother about it. I bet him a yuan (a huge sum of money at that time), but I failed to convince him.

2. I thought the golden wound medicine on TV was made from real gunpowder. During the Spring Festival, I crazily collected gunpowder from firecrackers, kept it in a small bottle and carried it around with me. One day, when my sister hurt her foot and bled, I wanted to use my secret remedy to save her, but she cried and refused, so I had to give up.

3. When herding cattle on the mountain, I always followed the cows, imagining that the old cow could lead me to treasure with its spiritual sense. Once, while exploring a new path, I attracted a swarm of yellow jackets and got stung all over.

4. I found that a calf looked like my little cousin, hopping around cutely.

5. I couldn't distinguish left from right, and always wore my shoes on the wrong feet without realizing it. I was ridiculed by my mom and sister, but my sister always thought socks also had left and right, which balanced things out.

6. I made several wooden submachine guns, and with a few cousins, we scouted, ambushed, and charged all the way to grandma's house.

7. I hoped to have superpowers, so in cold winter mornings, I could stay in the warm quilt and urinate through walls without getting up.

8. It was rumored that a Russian strongman would come to our place to grab people. The school suspended classes, and I imagined leading the children in how to ambush those giants.

9. I mocked my cousin: "You're older than me, why aren't you as good at studying?" His face turned red. Now I feel I was too harsh back then.

10. In the sixth grade, among classmates, we tested each other with questions. I gave a word that I had been pronouncing wrong for a long time and asked for the phonetics. My deskmate little girl answered it multiple times, and every time, I proudly said it was wrong. She later cried and went to the teacher, who gave me a severe beating.

11. In fifth grade, knowing my pretty female deskmate was born in 1982, and hearing that men cannot marry women older than them, I felt disappointed for a long time.

12. I remember reading in a book that if you hit an iron rod towards the North Pole, it would turn into a magnet. I tried many times, but never succeeded.

13. I made countless kites, but none of them ever flew.

14. I planted grape branches everywhere, but none of them survived for more than a year.

15. I once scrambled one egg to make it look like three, and was praised by my mom for being capable. Growing up, I wanted to be a composer...