He once said that we would be the best friends and become close friends... Blog friend's comment: Muzi Li: I am 26 years old this year, and at the age of 18, I met a boy who is five years older than me. That was my first love. He was not the handsome boy that little girls like, but his approachability and affability made me feel very comfortable. At that time, I was in vocational school, he was in university. We dated for exactly eight months, and I gave him my first time. As time went on, I didn't feel anything, so I proposed a breakup, but he never agreed. I was stubborn, so I kept pulling. A year later, without leaving a single word, I went to an internship elsewhere. Another year later, he graduated from university and went abroad to study. We didn't leave any contact information. Maybe because we were young, I wasn't too sad or nostalgic. Later, he found the phone number of my workplace. At first, I was very cold, but after a few months of phone calls, I no longer hated him as much as before. Those days away from my parents, his phone calls gave me a lot of comfort. I would tell him about unhappy things, and he was like a friend, a confidant. Because of the distance, we only saw each other three times in several years, but it never felt strange. He also hinted online that I should go to him, and he also implied that he wanted to be with me, but he didn't say it outright, so I didn't respond. By the end of last year, he came back to visit his parents, and we agreed to have dinner together. We agreed that when we met, each person would say something the other wouldn't expect. He cautiously told me that he was married. His eyes were filled with tears, and from his words, I heard his helplessness and responsibility towards this marriage. At that moment, I wanted to appear calm, but as soon as he finished speaking, my tears also came out. That day, we both cried. I also said that I was married, and my expression was very relaxed. Perhaps all women are selfish. I felt that I had lost someone who truly cared for me from the bottom of their heart, so until the day he left, I didn't go to see him. I received his last text message. He said I disappointed him and didn't even give him the chance to see him one last time. The next time we meet, we don't know when it will be. He didn't know how I had been those days. He left like that. That month, my city was especially cold, and it snowed continuously for a month. My heart was also very cold. After he left, I checked my mailbox every day to see if there were any letters from him, but there were none. Until three weeks later, he wrote in his letter that because of the long vacation, he had a lot of work to do when he returned, so it took him so long to write to me. He asked again if I was really married. This time, I lied and said I wasn't. Maybe we both thought we knew each other well, so he believed me. We continued to keep in touch as usual. I didn't tell him about my true inner sadness, which only I knew. On the eve of my first wedding anniversary, I sent him an email saying that I would get married tomorrow. Because he once said, he wanted me to tell him the day before I got married, not earlier, because it would make him sad. This time, I seemed to deceive him again, but he believed me and replied with a long letter, wishing me happiness at the end. Now we still communicate at least once a week. When he is not busy with work, maybe two or three letters will come. In the emails, I still inadvertently mention the past. He often advises me to move on. Over time, I feel even more sad in my heart. I clearly know that everything is no longer possible, but I still can't be happy. His wife is a very petty woman. He has a strong sense of responsibility. He won't betray her. He won't write to me at home, only at the company during his spare time. Sometimes I have a sense of guilt. Will our connection hurt his wife? Will it put pressure on him? I know all of this is my guess, but I don't want to think about these things only when something happens. I want him to be happy and happy. He once said that we would be the best friends and become close friends. Now he still says that. I need to calm down. I also tried to tell myself not to go online, not to check my mailbox, not to look for his traces where he might appear, but I only persisted for a few days. I feel that he is different from ordinary men. He is sincere and kind because he has a pure red heart. I don't know if I should contact him now. I'm afraid I can't get over it. I'm afraid I can't handle it well. I'm afraid he looks down on me. I'm afraid he plays the role of a good Samaritan to comfort me and pity me. I don't know what will happen between us in the future. Will we really be the best confidants as he said? I'm very confused, afraid of losing him, but also afraid of not being able to get along easily. Reply to blog friend: Although you don't want to admit the "lover" relationship between you two deep down, your behavior and thoughts have already defined your relationship as a full-fledged "lover". Your world is full of romantic atmosphere. You need someone to give you a lot of support and motivation spiritually. You always fantasize that certain passionate romances in some plots could be played out on you. However, you are also a woman who values reputation and face, so you fear that your underground feelings will one day be exposed. Since you both missed each other mercilessly in the prime time for romance, it fully proves that you two are not suitable for each other. It justifies the popular saying today: "You fell in love not with him, but with loneliness." In fact, if you were given another chance to choose, you might not choose him. Your rationality determines that you are not destined to be a lover. But your affection and the distance that gives your special love also determine that there cannot be only a super friendship between you two. Since you can't control your heart, start by controlling your behavior, disappear in the virtual world where he may appear, and you indeed need to let your heart settle further. There are many beautiful memories in life. We don't have to continue these memories in real life. Since there is no result between you two, why can't you restrain yourself and give up? You should know what role you are playing now. Acknowledging it and changing it is your best choice. I believe you can definitely do it. More articles: Note: All articles in this blog are original works exclusively published on Sina. Exclusive authorization has been granted to the magazine Family for excerpts. Getting married to someone you don't love is like living widowed. Having sex dozens of times in ten days. Ten types of women who ruin families must not be married. Marrying a virgin is harder than winning the lottery. Ten benefits of marrying a teacher. My girlfriend left me to party with another man. Women should control their own mouths. Bed affairs make how many men lose their dignity. My husband with a monthly income over ten thousand discarded me. How married women can keep their husbands. Five strategies for women to control marriage. How many women are physically present but mentally absent? Why married men are obsessed with infidelity. Don't let the hand that touched another woman touch me. The carefully selected boyfriend abandoned me. Is having sexual fantasies about the same sex a disease? Enter my blog homepage here. Related theme articles:续：公交司机发病晕倒前踩急刹车尚未脱离危险