January 23 (New Year's Day, 0:59) Today, this means that 2012 has arrived. I don't know if it is the end of the world, and I no longer want to think about it. For me, 12 is the last year for me to test myself and sharpen my skills before entering the workplace. I know how elusive the future can be, but I no longer have high expectations. I just need to do what I must do to face the future. Although I may lose a lot, and may continue to lose, I believe that I cannot recover from regrets in life, but I will still go all out. I believe! I firmly believe!!!!
January 24 (Second day of the New Year, morning) Today, I am going to visit relatives. It's time to see elders and older siblings whom I haven't seen for a long time. I won't forget the mission I bear this year. I just want to say that I possess "sentiment" - family affection and friendship. Thank you, my dear ones, for your encouragement and affirmation. Thank you, my friends, for always accompanying me. We fight side by side, come rain or shine. Anyway, I am young, and while I'm young, I'm not afraid!
January 26 Today, I feel infinitely content. I remember what I once possessed.
February 6 In many days leading up to today, a special cell has grown in my life. As of now, it hasn't fully formed yet. I stand at the edge of my soul... I still don't know where my future will fly to. I really don't know.
February 8 (early morning) The responsibilities on my shoulders are enough for me to work 25 hours every day in 2012.
February 8 You don't know, you are the only motivation for everything I do. No matter what I do, good or bad, love or hate, I always think of you. I wish to think of you 24 hours a day, to send you gifts, to make you happy, to laugh with you...
You don't know, I only lack a promise from you. If I know that as long as I persist, we might have a chance, I would do anything for you. I wish I could tell you, when I earn one million, I will come to marry you. These things, you don't know.
February 11 Today, belonging to tomorrow's today, I suddenly start to doubt, does the result really matter? Future, who would know how it will turn out? I just know that as long as it's for you, I am willing. Although not everything can be done well, so the confession was exaggerated, when I earn one million, I will marry you, then I realize, asking someone else to do something exaggerated is too much, but for me to do something exaggerated for you is not exaggerated at all. Anyway, if you are good, I am good.
February 12 Today, got up early, saw off an old friend, ate two bowls of rice noodles (my favorite since childhood, not available in Yiyang), bought breakfast for my parents on the way back. Although they didn't eat it in time, I went back to sleep around 11 AM. Apart from taking a second nap, the other two things were somewhat unplanned. Plan: the preliminary draft of the 2012 end-of-the-world plan has just been completed. Plan to return to school on the afternoon of the 15th. Plan to accumulate the capital for a better future throughout 2012. Life is ongoing! I am ready!
February 20 Today, the first day of the plan, everything is running smoothly on track!
Day Thirty-Two, feeling unwell since the morning, had diarrhea, worried about getting carsick. Sure enough, soon after departure, I started feeling dizzy. Barely managed to sleep until the station, thought resting would help, but ended up vomiting into the trash bin. Alas! The first thing to do upon arriving in Quanzhou wasn't reporting in, but dealing with accommodation issues. Tonight is settled, need to find a place tomorrow. Feeling dizzy, going to sleep. By the way, curious to ask, is Love Cube having good luck with romance this year? Alas, 'let it be' Day Thirty-Three, busy like a headless fly. Today was pretty busy, felt like a headless fly rushing around, both trying to save time and looking for a house. With little time or energy left, decided to take the plunge and rented it. At least I can live in peace. Time to sleep, moving tomorrow. Oh, by the way, about my classmate’s glasses, number 907, truly extravagant. But all I can say now is, 'take it slow, set a goal, don't waver anymore, strive for the goal, even if it's tough initially, keep going.' Day Thirty-Four, Moving Day. Today, I was quite absent-minded, forgetting my umbrella despite knowing it would rain, mistakenly thinking I'd passed my stop and desperately trying to get off, only to realize I was two stops early. Luckily, I walk fast, so I wasn't late. Then at work, I lacked energy, probably due to post-holiday syndrome. Noteworthy is that I moved today. The seemingly insignificant blanket turned out to be so heavy, and the beautiful bridge seemed so long. Tired! Even though I just moved some stuff, I already found moving so hard and troublesome. No wonder my younger brother always comes back empty-handed. Phew! Finally settled in, bought keys, paid rent, three hundred gone, alas! Thought I'd take a bath to relax, but realized there was no hot water after undressing. Shocked! Had to make do. Overall, I'm quite satisfied, met a new friend, heard he just came back from my home, truly a coincidence, hope to live comfortably and peacefully here. Good night! Day Thirty-Five, various shocks. Today was not a peaceful day, because I heard many unsettling messages. First, the helplessness of being a rare blood type, then the strange marriage, and finally unconventional questions and comfort. I truly find it hard to accept. Regardless of which kind of shock, my astonishment seems to only last for a moment. Is it because I've gotten used to it or have matured? Regardless of either, I find myself indifferent. Perhaps the silent genes of apathy still exist within me. Just continue living 'half-heartedly,' for the sake of so-called 'freedom.' Day Thirty-Six, untitled. This can be considered another form of physical labor. I kept moving and walking all day, from PingShan Road to QuanXiu Street, TianAn Road, XingFu Street, TianHou Road, TuMen Street, ZhongShan Road, and finally back to ShaoLin Road, almost covering all the main streets of Quanzhou. This journey exceeding ten kilometers can be considered a farewell gift to Limi. Ultimately, I am alone again, unsure if I can stay in Quanzhou. To seek peace of mind, I sought a fortune-telling stick, but instead became more anxious. What does 'this is enough for work...' mean? It sounds like my career has already reached its end, making me even more lost. Wailing... Limi said, we are living under Zheng Chenggong, surely success awaits us. Alas, the sign text chilled my heart more than halfway. Grandpa Zheng, now that I live next to you, seeing each other often, please give me a bit of assistance, give me confidence, let me bravely persist, slowly heading towards success. Reflecting on today, these years of experiences, and myself, I can't help but sigh, 'Life, how can it be described with just one word, "tired." Looks like, the year that decides my fate is this year, persist, strive, cheer up!' Day Thirty-Seven, Lantern Festival. Today is the Lantern Festival, the memory most vivid is fireworks. Usually, the Lantern Festival is spent at home, this year alone outside, feels a bit unfamiliar. After work, called home, mom was cooking vermicelli, younger brother hadn't left yet, saying he was going to Shenzhen, dad was still at home, grandma was busy, little one probably went out to play. And I walked on the streets of Quanzhou, debating whether to go see the lanterns. My whole day was filled with soreness, probably due to continuous labor. Eventually decided to go back to the dormitory, take a shower, wash clothes, then rest in the warm quilt. Lastly, wishing everyone 'Happy Lantern Festival'. Day Thirty-Eight, Temporary Decision. Suddenly several degrees colder today, people are reluctant to leave their houses, feeling like catching a cold, dizziness makes me want to hide in bed. Around noon, planned to check it out, but unfortunately got lost again, thus made a small decision. Since I've stepped in, might as well try harder and persist, as Uncle said, whether it works or not, success or failure depends on these few months. Consider it a gamble, perhaps success will come sooner than expected. These days, very grateful for friends' encouragement, especially from Pig Emperor and Moldy Brother. You've made me understand more through your experiences, so, Nanyang remembers you, 'stay calm in the face of trouble, maintain composure! I'll try my best to achieve that.' Day Thirty-Nine, Confused Today was pretty quiet, because of repaying favors, unexpectedly attended another Mary Kay seminar. How to say? Maybe because of the topic itself, I wasn't overly sleepy, but still played with my phone absentmindedly, alas! Seems I am really a bit disconnected from society. Despite not remembering much after a whole evening, it did reflect some truths about human nature. However, I will still adhere to my principles, because I've always lived my own way. Day Forty, Joke. Everything I did and encountered today can be considered a joke. First, I mistakenly helped Limi carry two pairs of shoes for mailing, but she only wanted two sets of clothes. Then, invited to another 'thought' meeting, my age group was separately cited as examples, confusing! However, this meeting was somewhat fruitful, at least it helped me avoid 'one disaster,' looks like my luck this year is better than the past two, worth congratulating. Lastly, the issue of marriage. Moldy Brother said, seeing a middle-aged newlywed couple, advised me to get married soon. Little Xin also joined in and set a 'next-year appointment' with me. Forced me to get married quickly, even more frustrating is, fifteen-year-olds are considering marriage in a few years. How come whatever I fear happens? Starting today, I will forget about marriage, believe it will be more relaxing, cheer up! Day Forty-One, Knowing Cold and Warmth. Early this morning, classmates were chatting about customs and life, reminiscing about junior high. Indeed, it's been over ten years since graduation, seems I haven't gathered for a long time. As Old Teacher said, it's not that I like staying home, it's just that there's no temptation to go out. Actually, it's not that I don't want to go, it's just fear. Over ten years, everyone has changed, but I remain unchanged. In fact, many people have said and advised, but I still can't truly step out. After all, pulling one hair moves the whole body, it's too big a deal, haha. I can only do my best. Although today involved many topics I don't want to talk about, facts cannot be avoided, deceiving oneself is troublesome, so just let it be. Go listen to a class, change my mood... Day Forty-Two, Dreams Flying Slowly getting used to using walking time to organize daily trivial matters, slowly getting used to strolling under Grandpa Zheng's feet, slowly getting used to the current situation. Limi wrote today, saying her sister also went to work together, her job should be getting better, consider it a sign of the divination's effectiveness. The rest is my problem, chatted with BiShan all day, vented a lot of grievances, poor kid. Through today's understanding, I also realized something important. There are actually many kids like me, bearing 'ignorant pressure,' harboring 'helpless dreams,' working hard and struggling, complaining similarly, seeking help similarly, and habitually consoling others similarly, haha, actually, everyone is like that, understands the truth, but gets confused when faced with problems. The only thing we can do is to try our best when we're clear-headed, striving to realize those flying dreams someday. Day Forty-Three, Quiet Noise Very glad I didn't let FuWei move in together, because the music from next door is too loud, breaking my quiet life today. Many people are resting on weekends, but not me. A quiet morning, few people on the way to work, spent the whole day quietly busy. On the way back, although it was already nightfall, I didn't feel noisy. Thought today would pass quietly, who knew it would be so noisy in the dormitory, sweat! Worth mentioning is, the bathroom light broke and no one noticed, sweat sweat! All this reminds me of the trivialities of life my colleague mentioned today, realizing how terrible men without manners can be, sweat sweat sweat! Day Forty-Four, Coincidence Ran into them early this morning, which also determined the phone call I received in the afternoon, leading me to say 'between cosmetics and drugs, I choose drugs,' such a shocking statement, sweat! Looks like this contact with direct sales will continue. Speaking of coincidences, I must mention the little sister I met today, feeling like I saw a part of myself somewhere. Maybe all young people have to go through a phase of confusion, just that some realize earlier, some are still circling, finding it hard to decide where to exit. Anyway, I hope the little girl finds her job soon. Lastly, something Mom has been worried about might fall into place soon. Currently, all I can do is to support myself first, take it slow, believe life will make arrangements, persist, follow your inner feelings, cheer up! Day Forty-Five, Valentine's Trap Today is Valentine's Day, same stomach upset as yesterday, dinner consisted of my favorite porridge, invited by the co-renter to drink some soup, felt pretty good. Opened my space, almost all messages are related to Valentine's Day, sweet and bitter complaints alike, truly a hundred kinds of people, a hundred kinds of attitudes. I'm lucky to have nothing to do with all this, because today, I heard too many sisters' sad stories, foolishly bound by love they never had, ending four-year relationships today, some using self-consoling words to celebrate being single forever, of course, some are enjoying sweet dates. All this makes me wonder, is what you can't obtain really more memorable than what you currently have? Is this Valentine's Day or Valentine's Trap? Can't help but remember a sentence I read today, 'Today suitable for breaking ground and burial, unsuitable for romantic confessions,' sweat sweat! Here, wishing all dating couples a romantic night! Day Forty-Six, Regular Life Frankly speaking, I am generally a homebody. Every day is quite regular: work, go home, eat, lie in bed, watch news, chat, around ten o'clock, meet Lord Zhou. Carefully calculated, my working hours seem quite few. I am not a night owl, sleeping when others work hard; I am not a hedonist, working when others travel leisurely. Everyday from nine to five, punctual, life doesn't change much, so plain and simple, I wonder where all these life reflections come from, sigh! Seriously think about it, the free life I pursue seems just one step away, but the problem is, 'this step might never be achieved in a lifetime' Looks like, I should quietly enjoy the current life! After all, 'the price of freedom is too high, and I can't afford it' Day Forty-Seven, Those Matters Woke up strangely in the middle of the night, the sound of high heels echoing in the hallway, someone just returned washing up, someone else seemed drunk and vomiting. Clearly, everyone is a night owl, just happened to disturb me tonight, sweat. Nighttime trifles naturally don't affect my mood, rather, I'm more concerned about life's affairs. The survival of AiLifang seems to be everyone's worry, especially Sister Yan. Suddenly, I realized I'm not a good editor, because I disclosed the bad situation. Perhaps AiLifang might become a regret this year, but I prefer to believe David and Dazi will make it survive again. AiLifang is fortunate, because many people love it. Then what about me? Similarly, my fate will be decided this year, how should I proceed? As I told Feng, 'after four years, my career is just a job with a base salary, no performance, I am a failed salesperson' Also like what I told ChenPang, 'I've been doing unrelated jobs, constantly avoiding' Although, I think I'm capable, confident in my intelligence, but ultimately lack self-confidence. I often console others, this world lacks discerning eyes, but still feel aggrieved. Actually, if it was just me, it would be fine, but there's the family and the future of the little one. These are more headache-inducing, sigh, the simpler I want it, the harder it gets! Day Forty-Eight, Indifference Woke up mysteriously in the middle of the night with sudden toothache, leading to inflamed and swollen gums, didn't sleep well, plus a swollen face, truly uncomfortable, sweat! Spent the whole day drinking water, didn't feel like talking much, naturally didn't think much, resulting in not knowing what to do facing a major choice right now, sweat, looks like I'll have to seek help again tonight. Day Forty-Nine, What to Do My mood has been conflicted all day, while asking others what to do, someone also asked me what to do? Alas, truly under great pressure, don't know what to do, just strangely, seems many things end without results, don't know if it was wrong from the start, sweat! Sleeping, roaming with Lord Zhou. Day Fifty, Busy Alright, I admit I'm hungry now, but no way, have to hold on till nine, blame myself for poor time management, so just endure hunger for now. Without strength, don't want to say much. Although Dad gave me another problem, I should be able to solve it, regarding today's life, can only say busy, but not bad. Day Fifty-One, Experience Points Grandpa Zheng, I'm back. Walking under your footbridge every day, are you no longer unfamiliar with me? If Limi's comfort comes true, should it give me some confidence to persist? Don't know why, my pain points have become widely known, this should be attributed to my usual publicity, just my inner strength seems not strong enough, looks like the accumulated effective experience isn't enough, need to work harder, Christian Louboutin Official, hope you'll witness my 'level-up' success together! Related theme articles: Learn from history: bottom fishing should be done this way! Choose to believe tomorrow will be happy... Untitled