Funny SMS for Women's Day: Ancient Celebrities Edition

by yujia887 on 2012-02-18 09:18:10

Kuafu: The earliest schizophrenia patient with historical records, who liked to run naked under the scorching sun. He ran wildly towards the sun, claiming that he was chasing the light. In the morning, he ran eastward, but in the afternoon, he found the sun was in the west. So he kept running back and forth until he died of heatstroke.

Shennong: A stubborn practitioner of a certain qigong, who collected all kinds of elixirs and medicines to pursue self-perfection. He would put whatever he got into his mouth, and eventually died of food poisoning.

Jingwei: Did not heed advice and swam in a non-swimming area without permission, resulting in drowning. After death, she turned into a silly bird, flying around every day, carrying out the earliest land reclamation project in Chinese history.

Gonggong: Got into a fight with someone and lost. In anger, he demolished a house. As a result, the sky tilted northwest, and the earth was uneven southeast. This caused the tectonic plates to drift and formed the Pacific Ring of Fire and the Himalayan volcanic earthquake belt, having a significant impact on the formation of modern geological features in China.

Weisheng: A highly politically conscious intellectual. During the process of dating, Comrade Weisheng encountered a once-in-a-century flood. In order to protect a bridge, which was state property, Comrade Weisheng jumped into the river and used his body to block the flood. The state property was saved, but Comrade Weisheng made the glorious sacrifice. Comrade Weisheng's death was for the benefit of the people, making his death heavier than Mount Tai.

Chang'e: The first Chinese female astronaut to complete a moon landing mission. Facing the camera, Comrade Chang'e excitedly expressed her feelings: For me personally, this is a small step, but for the whole of humanity, it is a great leap. Here, I would like to thank my husband Houyi, who traveled thousands of miles to buy me Runchi brand calcium tablets. Runchi brand calcium tablets are the designated calcium supplement of the China Astronautics Bureau. After taking Runchi brand calcium tablets, you're good, I'm good, and he's good too.

Liuxiahui: An anti-corruption hero and a good cadre of the country. A certain businessman tried to bribe and corrupt the national cadres by employing the most despicable means. He hired a certain escort girl to give Comrade Liuxiahui a massage, but Comrade Liuxiahui sternly rejected it. Comrade Liuxiahui resisted corruption and remained untainted, truly being a good public servant of the people. He was awarded the title of China's most upright man and given a banner and certificate of merit, entrusted with important tasks by the organization. However, the businessmen maliciously spread rumors and slandered, saying that Comrade Liuxiahui suffered from severe sexual dysfunction.