12 Awesome Toilet Bowl Storylines That Should Push You Out

by blume2440 on 2011-08-28 16:22:05

No social event generates as much excitement as the Super Bowl. The average NBA nationwide public game attracts 10-15 million viewers; the Super Bowl draws around 100 million. In the 14 days leading up to the game, the press seems obligated to bring the 80-85 percent of non-football fans up to speed on everything that’s been happening with the two final teams. Those who have followed the NFL all season will hear more Cardinals and Pittsburgh Steelers reports repeated over the next two weeks than they would have ever imagined.

Here are the 20 things that will soon drive you absolutely crazy.

1. Underdog Narrative!

1947. 1947. 1947. The late 1940s. The late 1940s. The last time the Cardinals franchise reached the title. No one – none of us – expected the Cardinals to be here. And they are, facing one of football's most hallowed franchises, the Steelers.

The truth is, the Cardinals haven't won anything because they’ve been a terrible team. The Steelers have claimed titles throughout history because they’ve been a model operation. But America won’t figure this out. Instead, casual experts will root for the Cardinals because they'll see it as a story of the little guy trying to take down the big bully.

2. Kurt Warner

Football analysts can endlessly debate his Hall of Fame candidacy until they're blue in the face. Fine, that's fine. It’s an interesting argument (except no one will argue against Warner in any week). But the non-football pros will rehash the Kurt Warner rags-to-riches story that we all grew tired of eight years ago. You know, the grocery store bagger turned NFL star turned unknown backup turned savior in St. Louis turned goat turned journeyman in New York turned unexpected starter in Arizona turned savior again. That story.

3. Larry Fitzgerald

He’s the best weapon in football right now – and probably rightfully so. But come June, he’ll be hailed as the greatest man since Jesus Christ. Expect to hear how Fitzgerald’s father was a sportswriter and how Fitzgerald was a ball-boy for the Minnesota Vikings in his teenage years. Moreover, some people will emphasize that Fitzgerald has broken or tied Jerry Rice’s playoff receiving record and, unlike most superstars, doesn't try to hog the spotlight or demand the ball.

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