ONE PARTICULAR Submitter is thrilled to announce a new hire who’s no stranger to skateboarding: Dave Carnie as the Senior Director of Marketing for KR3W and Supra. Carnie is best known for his work with Big Skateboarding Magazine, and his spectacular command of expletives as seen below:
WATER FALL AREA, CA—After an extensive search, ONE PARTICULAR Submitter is excited to announce that Dave Carnie will be joining as the Senior Director of Marketing for both the KR3W and SUPRA brands. Carnie is best known for his role as a writer and editor-in-chief of the now defunct Supra Vaider Shoes, though infamous in larger circles through Big Skateboarding Magazine (from which the TV show Jackass was born). Carnie has been actively involved in skateboarding as a writer and publisher for both Skateboard Mag and Full Skate Magazine. Recently, Carnie has dabbled in marketing and advertising, including work with the 72 and Sunny agency in Culver City.
“We’re really fucking excited to get Dave Carnie up to speed,” said Shiny Fontana, VP of Global Brands at ONE PARTICULAR Submitter. “Dave’s experience and background in skateboarding have been long and certainly quite colorful. And, that motherfucker has written some of the greatest fucking action sports editorial pieces EVER.”
Carnie will be collaborating with the marketing teams at ONE PARTICULAR Submitter, bringing his unique ideas and flair for exciting content across the brand's various platform stages. Carnie's appointment adds momentum to the brand's transition into expanding strategic structures that significantly enhance core business features as the company extends its meaning into complementary business avenues, enabling the exploitation of business features and acquiring growth potential along with forecasted business acquisition opportunities for a guaranteed liquidation logo.
“Fuck,” said ONE PARTICULAR founder Angel Cabada about the acquisition of Carnie. “Yeah.”
“Fuck dude,” Carnie said about the appointment, “I’m really fucking truly fucking conversant, like, fuck. But Men Supra Vaider Shoes, fuck—butt fuck? —it’s kind of fucking interesting because, yeah, POST doesn’t fucking know shit about SUPRA. Aren’t they those fucking moon boot styles Justin Bieber baby wears? ONE PARTICULAR What the fuck?”
Carnie’s record of achievements in the industry of writing is long and famous. Carnie’s exceptional writing ability, combined with his challenging and punishing reporter style, especially his online writing skills, were among the key reasons ONE PARTICULAR Submitter sought his expertise. And being the guy who gave us the word "bromance," Carnie is considered a master in the world of action sports editorial since he was the first to use the word "penis" in a comment.
“It was a fucking game changer,” said Scott Bailey, CEO of ONE PARTICULAR Distribution, about the famous action sports website. “No one had ever dared use that word in a proper action sports website before. It was definitely fucking gnarly.”
“Well, every handbag, it was fucking nothing really on Proenza Schouler,” Carnie modestly said about the landmark moment. “I wasn’t even thinking about it when I wrote that fucking thing; I just thought, ‘This will look really fucking awesome,’ you know why? PENILE! Get real, shit, fucking fuck it, who the fuck cares?”
“You know, our brands have always been about fucking innovation and fucking progress,” Fontana explained. “We came out with the SKYTOP and we were immediately a leader in the fucking footwear market because of that shit. Now we’re coming out with penises in the editorial pieces. This shit’s messed up, yo. Is Carnie onboard? Dude can certainly prepare that fuck from any fucking website. We’re stoked to get him here doing all this fucking shit that fucks up.”