How to Resolve Emotional and Job-seeking Problems for the "Graduation-Marriage Tribe"
The "graduation-marriage tribe" refers to university students who get married right after graduation. Graduating and getting married is gradually replacing breaking up at graduation as a trendy choice among campus couples. Many women even view marriage as a way out, alleviating the upcoming employment pressure. Is it impulsive or just following the trend? Opinions on the "graduation-marriage tribe" are mixed, but most people do not look favorably upon it. To this end, 51job conducted a survey, and the results showed that over 60% of netizens disapprove of getting married right after graduation, 20% said they don't care, and only about 10% expressed approval.
Figure 1: Netizens' Attitudes Towards Getting Married After Graduation
Data Source: 51job
What problems do the "graduation-marriage tribe" face in life and in their careers? Once married, then settled, how should one deal with various conflicts and obstacles?
Facing Job-hunting: Smooth Transition, No Deception
Generally speaking, the fourth year of university is a busy season for job hunting. However, for the "graduation-marriage tribe," when classmates are worrying about resumes and interviews, they may be busy with buying a house, renovating, and planning a wedding. And when classmates have already stabilized in their jobs, they finish the wedding and honeymoon, and finally, the postponed job search is put on the agenda. Not immediately job hunting after graduation creates a blank period on the resume. If HR focuses on this issue and even gossips about the graduation-marriage experience, how should one respond? A 51job forum netizen delayed job hunting due to spending a year preparing for marriage after graduation and did not know how to answer HR's questions about the graduation-marriage, so they sought help on the forum. Forum netizens shared their opinions.
How to Describe the Blank Period? Concealment and Deception Are Not Acceptable
After graduation, not job hunting, how should this blank period be described? Some netizens suggested making up an excuse to get away with it, and honestly answering would only fall into HR's trap, setting obstacles for oneself. But this was opposed by many netizens. Netizen Lengdaodao believed one should answer truthfully but could tell HR that precisely because I am married, I have more family pressure, so I understand the importance of work more, and thus value the opportunity for work more than others, turning disadvantages into advantages, which is quite feasible. Netizen Yisuo Buyu thought that on the basis of being truthful, slightly exaggerating might be勉强 acceptable, but if completely fabricated, once discovered, the outcome would not be good. As a manager, he does not accept interviewees fabricating their experiences.
51job Career Experts believe that in job interviews, concealment is not advisable, and deception is doubly wrong. Whether to job hunt or get married after graduation is a choice of lifestyle. Each choice has its own advantages; it depends on how you present these advantages, avoiding heavy topics, and turning passivity into initiative. Let HR know that you have no intention of concealing this experience, and that you made the decision after careful consideration. The sense of responsibility towards the family makes you cherish every work opportunity more.
Concerns About Job Discrimination Among "Graduation-Marriage" Women
Being married without children, plus lacking work experience, seems like a difficult situation for job seekers. Sinky0620, a 51job forum netizen who works as HR, expressed that companies are often profit-driven first, and no company is willing to hire inexperienced women who are soon going to have children. Therefore, job seekers need to make an effort in how to express their work enthusiasm and stability. How to balance family planning with career planning is the key issue. 51job Career Experts suggest giving your family plan and combining it with your career plan, letting the company know that you are not blindly getting married and having children, and that family is not a stumbling block to your career. Netizen Yisuo Buyu suggests that "graduation-marriage" women choose industries before companies when job hunting, minimizing the transition between life and work, clarifying family goals and work goals, which relatively simplifies job hunting.
Facing Emotions: Mature Consideration, No Impulsiveness
Recently, Wang Min, a member of the "graduation-marriage tribe," complained on the 51job forum that getting married right after graduation feels like being tied down by marriage. At the age of 24-25, she increasingly resembles a housewife, while her peers go shopping after work, she runs around big supermarkets with shopping bags, now reflecting, she finds such a life rather tragic. So, is the "graduation-marriage tribe" good or bad?
Wang Min recounted in her story: The people and things seen in school are limited. After truly engaging with society, we realize that marriage isn't as simple as we imagined. People who excel academically may not necessarily be ambitious in work, and those with good character may not necessarily take responsibility for the family. These matters require the test of time and events, and we didn't have time to test them before getting married.
Campus love is pure, but is marrying without testing it a kind of irresponsibility to oneself? It's necessary to consider carefully before marriage rather than regretting later.
Netizen Fei Shi Ru Yun said: Marriage requires cautious consideration; otherwise, after marriage, conflicts will arise over time, followed by many unhappy things. Like me, when I was discharged from the army, she and her family were always urging us to register our marriage, but after registering, I found myself deceived. Therefore, friends who haven't married yet should think more about this matter.
When Feelings Mature, Marriage Becomes Reasonable
In the survey about the "graduation-marriage tribe," love and money are the two major keys affecting approval. 33% of netizens approve of "graduation-marriage" because they believe campus feelings are the purest and should last a lifetime. Similarly, concerns about future economic issues, believing that lack of economic foundation makes post-marriage life difficult, are also the biggest reasons why netizens do not recognize "graduation-marriage." Shouldn't one marry if there's no economic problem and the families are wealthy, and if it's true love? Netizen Emilycom said so.
If there's no economic problem, then for campus couples whose feelings have matured, "graduation-marriage" is not a bad choice. As the saying goes, "A tall tree offers good shade," having someone accompany and share life's pressures with you is always good. As netizen Suibianjiang said: "I have friends who got married right after graduation, and I see their lives going well. They can console each other when something happens, which is much better than enduring hardships alone."
For the "graduation-marriage tribe," everything comes early, early marriage, early childbearing, all coming early, aiming for a more stable future life, which is also a reason some netizens approve. Netizen Xiaonan expressed: "This unstable society, having something that stabilizes life is great. When water reaches the channel, early marriage and early childbirth have their own pleasures."
Fear of Not Finding a Better Partner Later On
The fear of not finding a better partner later and the worry of being left behind are also reasons some netizens approve of "graduation-marriage." According to previous surveys by 51job on the single status of white-collar workers, as high as 75% of white-collar workers remain single after solving their work issues. Rather than compromising later, it's better to seize the moment. Since one has already found a lifelong companion in campus, entering the marital hall early is also a grasp of future life.
Premature Marriage, Economically and Mentally Unaffordable
Economic conditions are the main reason most people are unwilling to marry right after graduation. As netizen Binghuoxianzi said: "What does 'ripe timing' refer to? Money? Cars and houses? Responsibility? Feelings? Can newly graduated individuals prepare for these? If both parties are newly graduated with no economic foundation, can emotional maturity alone count as ripe timing?"
Marriage is also a mature turning point. After marriage, members of the "graduation-marriage tribe" cannot spend their parents' money like they did in school. If not spending their parents' money, given today's soaring CPI and higher living costs, everything from firewood, rice, oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar, and tea costs money. Newly graduated individuals relying solely on both salaries to support a family might also have problems. If there's no economic reserve before marriage, then poverty-stricken couples will likely face numerous sorrows.
Concerns of "Graduation-Marriage" Women Being Left Behind by Society
Women consider more specific issues regarding "graduation-marriage." If one finds a wealthy boyfriend and marries to live comfortably, will one become a housewife too early? Will one become disconnected from society? These are their primary concerns.
Netizen Chaowo Jixian said: "My boyfriend also asked me to get engaged with him after graduation. I could only say: 'Let's see, let's see.' I am delaying him because I'm afraid of becoming a yellow-faced woman in the future. Since his family is financially well-off, his parents hope I won't work and stay home. However, I said that I must work and will persist no matter how tired I get. Because I know only through work can I maintain my social circle and continuously connect with the outside world. Work requires continuous learning and progress, preventing my thoughts from stagnating at one level. Before considering marriage, it's better to find a good job and stand firmly in society first, putting other things aside. Nothing is more important than one's independence."
Whether after graduation, whether to work first or get married first, it should be planned and targeted, not blindly following trends or escaping reality. Marriage and career are major life decisions, requiring careful selection and serious treatment, ensuring that "graduation-marriage" doesn't turn into "graduation-mistake."