I want to be famous, if I don't become famous soon, I'll jump off a building.
Since I was little, I've always wanted to be famous, and I was determined to be famous by the age of sixteen. Unfortunately, year after year has passed, sixteen has become something from the last century, but I still haven't become famous. People say that success lies in persistence and perseverance. For more than ten years, I have been persisting and striving hard.
Looking at the internet, one celebrity after another keeps emerging, from痞子蔡 (a famous early Chinese internet writer), to上海宝贝 (Shanghai Baby), then to 芙蓉姐姐 (Sister Furong), then 木子美 (Muzi Mei), then 杨二车那姆... I am truly anxious. Unfortunately, luck has never come my way. Seeing some people online who talk or even undress to gain fame, there are women who only wear bras without outerwear, others who only wear underwear without pants, and some who don't even wear underwear at all, exposing themselves completely. There are even those who talk about what they do when they're not wearing clothes, and some who expose others who are also naked with them. There are even more extreme cases where young unmarried women not only undress completely but also make indecent gestures, disregarding their parents' honor as if they have no family or friends, as if they were raised in a stone crevice. They openly challenge society, morality, and the bottom line of popular culture. Their behavior is so savage and bold, it's rare both domestically and internationally. You might say this woman must have water in her brain. If she wants to expose herself, she could at least do it artistically instead of just splitting her legs so wildly. Even if it gets her famous, people will still say she's stripping for attention. Some don't care, saying: As long as I get famous, everyone knows me, and I can make big money, what's wrong with taking off clothes, showing thighs, or revealing personal secrets?
The logic is understandable, but on the other hand, male tigers wouldn't react to seeing female tigers without clothes. But sometimes humans are more disgraceful than animals. Men would react differently to seeing unclothed women. Moreover, exposing privacy means not only strangers can see, but also children around eleven or twelve who lack defense mechanisms can see. We need to care about the next generation.
In our hometown, there's a very famous person known throughout the region because she's mentally ill and takes off her clothes anywhere and anytime.
Getting famous by undressing or relying on sex appeal, how different is that from being crazy? It's meaningless fame. So, I stick to a principle: I won't resort to crooked ways. If I'm going to be famous, it should be for good reasons, not bad ones, especially for women.
So, although I desperately want to be famous, I won't rely on undressing, exposing myself, or using my looks. In that case, it seems like the only way for me to become famous is to follow the path of Sister Jiang (Jiang Jie), Liu Hulan, or Sun Ergou. Unfortunately, I was born half a century too late. Being a modern-day Jiang Jie, Liu Hulan, or Sun Ergou is harder than being an animal.
Since I can't become famous through heroism or femininity, what else can I do? After thinking for years, I finally found an answer after Li Yuchun became famous. That is, take the middle way - neither fully male nor fully female. Or, be a woman who's somewhere between Sun Ergou and those who love to undress, looking somewhat like a man but also like a woman, striding confidently onto the stage. With this goal in mind, I cut my hair short and started wearing shirts, but unfortunately, my chest is too large, and no matter how I dress, I can't look as cool as Li Yuchun.
What else can I do? When I hit a dead end, a new path appears. I realized that doing good deeds can also make one famous. So, I began doing good deeds. Originally, I planned to help people like Lei Feng, carrying babies or helping old ladies. However, when I didn't do good deeds before, I didn't notice any problems in society. Once I started doing good, problems arose. Helping carry babies makes people think you're a child trafficker. Helping old ladies makes me fear situations like in Nanjing. Times have changed; it's hard to do good deeds now. Not only do I feel awkward, but those being helped feel awkward too. First, I discovered that there are many versions of "The Farmer and the Snake" circulating in society. I don't know if it's because Chinese society is special, producing many snakes that learn to bite after being frozen, or if individual incidents are exaggerated into common phenomena by the media. On the contrary, citizens without religious faith have gone through revolution after revolution (from liberation, land reform to cultural revolution), becoming fearless since they've risked their lives. They fear neither heaven above nor earth below, but they fear people, especially their own kind. This leads to strange scenarios: when someone falls into water, a group of people stands watching but no one jumps in. When someone suffers a car accident, those who see it avoid helping at all costs. People live in their own circles yet guard against each other like wolves. The same applies inside homes due to the many unfaithful men and women outside. Is this a world for humans? Without sunshine, warmth, or trust, how cold it is. So, whether or not I can be a celebrity doesn't matter much. At least I can still be human, with a human heart rather than a wolfish, numb heart. For this reason, even though I haven't become famous, I still insist on doing good deeds, knowing well that getting famous this way is almost impossible.
Time flies, and the calendar has flipped to 2010. My understanding of fame has changed again. On one hand, I still want to be famous, but on the other hand, I've developed an inexplicable fear and disgust towards fame, all because of Shou Shou.
People online are really smart, giving her such an apt name. Calling her 'beast' would seem too crude and harsh, but giving her a human name would seem too lenient since she's raping the public's eyes. By selling herself, she's become the worst kind of woman. Giving her the nickname 'Shou Shou' shows our tolerance while rightfully placing her in the animal category. It's a perfect solution. The person who came up with this name is a genius, and I salute him here.
Originally, I didn't want to mention her name, finding it a symbol of filth and shame. Every time I went online, I avoided reading anything related to her. Her name is like a pile of dog poop, making people uncomfortable and inelegant. I thought everyone would despise such a woman who contributes ugliness to society and openly tempts the private desires of all men. Unexpectedly, she actually achieved her goal, becoming increasingly popular and gaining what she wanted. Society has rewarded such scum with wealth. If this continues, traitors can win applause, prostitutes can attract attention, and contributing ugliness to society can bring high wealth. There may be followers in the future.
If Shou Shou's behavior happened in a Muslim society, she'd definitely be stoned to death. In a Christian society, millions of people would pray for God to punish her. Although Playboy magazine might appear similar on the surface, the naked bunny girls still give some sense of beauty. Only in China, a society claiming five thousand years of cultural heritage and filled with spectators, could she become such a peculiar flower, blooming so long. When a foul-smelling, ugly flower blooms, is it you molesting the flower or the flower molesting you?
Before, I wanted to be famous so badly that I once thought of jumping off a building if I didn't become famous. Now, every time I think about fame, all I can do is sigh deeply.