Browse reminder: In the vast world and among a sea of people, there are many who fall in love, but not all of them will ultimately walk down the aisle together. Some people may be suited for romance but not marriage, as being married requires satisfying some basic conditions. Otherwise, even if they force themselves into marriage, they won't lead a happy life. Experts in relationship psychology from 100 Wedding Network have summarized the following points:
One, Being friends who can communicate well.
As a couple, the most fundamental thing should be friendship, and ideally good friends or confidants, unless you're purely biologically motivated to pass on descendants. If you can't even reach the level of being friends, how can you be spouses? Even if you force yourselves into marriage, it will be difficult to last.
Two, Having common life values.
Birds of a feather flock together; friends should fundamentally agree on their worldview and values, at least accepting each other's life values. Otherwise, how can they be friends?
If this is true for friends, couples living together long-term certainly need to share common life values. If couples pursue different life goals and have major differences in opinions, how can the marriage continue?
Three, Being able to fully understand and trust each other.
Understanding each other is a basic condition for interpersonal relationships, and for couples, understanding is the most fundamental requirement. You should know about each other’s family background, education, personality, individual traits, habits, etc., and have at least a basic understanding.
Understanding alone isn’t enough; after understanding, if you can accept these things, you also need to fully trust each other. Without trust, there cannot be any interaction, especially between spouses.
Four, Being able to easily communicate when issues arise.
Of course, conflicts and contradictions are bound to happen between people, including couples. Since they live together daily, the possibility of friction is even greater. Having conflicts isn't scary, what's scary is the inability to communicate, leading to conflicts escalating to an unmanageable state. Therefore, an important and fundamental condition for being a couple is the ability to easily communicate when issues arise.
Five, Having a spirit of contribution and sacrifice.
The relationship between a couple is a typical combination of rights and responsibilities. What you receive and what you give won’t always be proportional or equal. One partner might give more, while the other gives less. As a couple, one shouldn’t nitpick over every detail but rather have a spirit of contribution and sacrifice.
In marriage, no one owes anyone else anything, and there is no distinction of high or low status. Willingness to sacrifice and contribute is also one of the basic conditions for being a couple.
Six, Being able to be tolerant and magnanimous towards each other.
Everyone makes mistakes and has flaws. Couples, because of their close proximity, are more likely to discover these flaws and shortcomings. Therefore, as a couple, one should have a heart of tolerance and magnanimity, correctly and rationally dealing with the other person’s flaws and mistakes. Neither being overly critical nor irresponsibly indulgent.
Tolerating small and irrelevant flaws and mistakes, helping the other correct major ones, so that the couple can grow together.
Seven, Having roughly aligned interests.
People have different aspirations, but couples should maintain a basic consistency. They should have similar views on interests and hobbies. Only then can they stay aligned and not drift further apart or become estranged. Having basically aligned interests allows for long-term coexistence; couples with differing dreams cannot be happy.
Eight, Firmly supporting each other.
One significant difference between marriage and romance is that marriage faces more real-life pressures and problems, and is more complicated and even monotonous. Thus, it encounters more difficulties.
Whether it’s the wife or the husband, whether in life or work, unexpected difficulties will arise. This isn’t scary; the key is to receive firm support from the other. If one retreats at the first sign of trouble, this isn't even worthy of a friendship, let alone a future marital life.
Nine, Accepting each other’s families.
Many young lovers often overlook this point, thinking marriage is a private matter between two people and doesn't need to consider others. This is, of course, a naive romanticism.
Marriage involves not just two young people, but also both sets of parents and two families. Besides loving each other, couples need to be able to accept each other's families. If you can't tolerate certain behaviors of your partner's parents or family, and they can't completely stay out of your affairs, your future marital life will have endless troubles.
Ten, Having a basic material and economic foundation.
Being suitable for dating doesn't mean being suitable for marriage, as marriage involves more than romance—it's mainly about the realities of everyday life like firewood, rice, oil, and vinegar. Without a certain material and economic foundation, married life cannot continue. Therefore, two overly artistic individuals might not be suited for marriage, as they may be too immersed in a romantic artistic lifestyle and not know how to manage life and earn money to support the household.