Then I thought of this topic. I am 21 this year, according to the traditional age calculation, I should still be a sophomore in college, but due to my poor performance in the high school entrance exam, I ended up with a 3+2 program, which caused me to start my beautiful 21-year-old life by following the footsteps of the working class.
To be honest, when I was a child, I always wished I could grow up quickly, work on my own, and get rid of the annoying academic evaluation system in schools. All I did was complain and find ways to skip classes, wishing time would pass quickly so that I could start working soon.
But now that I am actually working, and in some sense considered an adult, I wish I could stay in my childhood, at least without so many worries and so much scheming.
Cheng Cheng asked me, what should a person do when they are stuck in emotions?
If I were a child, I would have thrown a tantrum, smashed things, or hugged a doll and cried loudly.
But now? Can I still throw tantrums? I just moved into a new place, living upstairs without a balcony but with a rooftop - the best place to dry clothes. But humorously, there is no clothesline!
To put it bluntly, my father thinks it's inappropriate to have a clothesline in such a beautifully designed sunroom, so he has been reluctant to install one.
Until today, we've already moved in, and I need to wash my clothes. Where should I hang them after washing?
On the downstairs balcony?
Are you crazy?
I have a rooftop upstairs, why would I use the downstairs balcony?
Then he said, go buy a clothesline. He even mentioned that he saw one online for about a hundred bucks.
Isn't that funny? If he had decided not to "ruin the beauty of the sunroom", why didn't he say so earlier instead of dragging it out until now!
In situations like this, can I smash things and throw tantrums like I used to as a child?
If I did, we would have a big argument, but after arguing, can we just stop interacting? Can we pretend this person never existed?
Impossible. So, I endure, I retreat, I swallow my frustration. What else can I do?
Last night, Xiao Juan from downstairs sent over her computer desk to try out the computer.
As a result, a big problem arose.
There wasn't a single port in Xiao Juan's room downstairs that could connect to the internet.
In the adjacent study room, only one port worked while the other didn't.
And upstairs in my place, it was the same - one side worked, the other didn't.
Again, I endured silently, but my stepmother's expression was far from pleasant!
So, my dear father called the person who installed the wiring.
I found it very amusing.
I don't know who his real daughter is.
Even more hilarious is that last night, he asked me to help him dry Xiao Juan's school uniform.
I said, "You're really funny, you don't even recognize your own daughter's school uniform, yet you're helping dry someone else's."
This kind of thing doesn't happen once or twice, it happens countless times.
Since I was little, I wanted to raise a dog. From elementary school to middle school, to high school and then university, all the way to now, but he would never agree.
However, when Xiao Juan simply said, "Uncle, I like Chihuahuas,"
The next day, a dog was delivered to her house.
He said buying a phone that costs over three thousand yuan is a waste, but in the end, he still bought one for Xiao Juan.
When it was raining heavily outside and I couldn't return home, he told me to take a taxi. After hanging up the phone, I felt heartbroken. If I could afford a taxi, would I have called him?
Xiao Juan just needed to go to school, and despite being busy, he still drove her.
Regardless of whether he's trying to please Xiao Juan or her mother,
At least I'm his daughter, right?
Is there such double standard?
Sometimes, when Xiao Juan comes over for dinner, he becomes overly attentive, but unfortunately, she doesn't appreciate it at all.
Should I laugh at his efforts going unnoticed, or should I cry for my own sorrow?
If I were still a child, how good that would be.
Without these troubles, whenever I wanted to throw a tantrum, I would.
If I wanted to make a fuss, I would.
Everything must revolve around me.
Now?
Whatever I do is wrong. It's always my fault.
If I don't want to argue with Xiao Juan at home, I go out to eat, and it's still my fault for not eating at home.
If I don't talk during meals because I don't know what to say, it's still my fault for not talking to Xiao Juan.
If I'm just surfing the internet, it's still my fault for not letting Xiao Juan use the computer.
If I say the broadband requires an account and password, it's still my fault for forgetting the account.
What I hear most often is, "Why are you such a disobedient child?"
I really want to say, "What more do you want from me?"
Your dating started less than a month after mom passed away, and within three months, you brought another woman home, one after another. Did I ever say anything?
Did I ever drive those women away?
Didn't I still treat them well?
If I wanted to make a fuss and argue, wouldn't I have plenty of valid reasons?
All in all, it's because I care too much about you, I don't want to make you uncomfortable, so I keep pushing myself into a corner.
Moving forward means endless arguments.
Stepping back means it's already a dead end.
Look, this is what growing up means. You start considering your family's feelings and develop your own thoughts, yet you can never gain his understanding.
After all these years, isn't it enough?
Where can you find a daughter with such adaptability?
The summer vacation is coming soon, Xiao Juan will start her holidays, then live together, then, I can't compete, so I avoid.
Just don't come home for meals if nothing special happens.
Eating bread is better than dealing with unpleasant expressions.
Look, this is what growing up means.
It's exhausting.
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