Forget about the不如意aspects of life.

by wssfivy9 on 2010-04-07 20:30:29

Life is often unsatisfactory, about 8 or 9 times out of 10. To make yourself happy, a good method is to learn to forget. Life requires the ability to take things up, but sometimes letting go is even more important.

In a small story from the Buddhist scriptures, a young monk and an old monk go on alms round together. The young monk shows great respect and looks to his master for everything. When they reach the riverbank, a woman wants to cross the river. The old monk carries her across the river. After thanking him, the woman leaves. However, the young monk keeps thinking about how his master could carry the woman across the river? But he doesn't dare to ask. After walking for 20 li (about 6 miles), he can't help himself anymore and asks his master, "We are monks, how could you carry that woman across the river?" The master calmly replies, "I put her down after crossing the river, but you've been carrying her for 20 li."

The words of the elder monk are full of Zen meaning. Carefully reflecting, it's also a truth about life. A person's life is like a long journey, continuously moving forward while seeing various kinds of scenery along the way, experiencing many ups and downs. If one remembers all that has passed by, it will add much extra burden. The richer the experiences, the greater the pressure. It's better to forget as one moves along, always keeping light baggage. What has passed is already over. Time cannot flow backward. Apart from learning from experience, there's no need to dwell on it.

Many people like this colloquial poem: In spring there are flowers, in autumn there is the moon; in summer there is cool breeze, in winter there is snow. If there’s nothing bothering your heart, then it's a wonderful time on earth. Remember certain people and events, forget others. Remember what should be remembered, forget what should be forgotten. Live a carefree life, free from attachments, and you'll find life so beautiful.

Forgetting requires choice. Some people and events in your life are unforgettable and shouldn't be forgotten. Remember the help others have given you, and forget their wrongs towards you. This is the proper way to conduct oneself.

Being willing to forget is a kind of psychological balance, which requires sincerity in facing life. Some people can forget the awkwardness and embarrassment during setbacks but talk endlessly about their successes in prosperity. They don't realize that success and failure alike stay in the past. Always indulging in the past without letting go, often saying "When I was young...", treating yesterday's glories as today's beauty, letting fleeting clouds linger forever in one's heart, feeling smug and self-satisfied, trapping oneself in delusions, leads to not striving for progress and being stuck in place. There's a reason why heroes don't talk about their past bravery. On the other hand, repeatedly dwelling on past pain, with a perpetually bitter face, is even less commendable. As Indian poet Rabindranath Tagore said, "If you cry over the loss of the sun, you will also lose the stars." Being petty over trivial matters and holding grudges over old grievances may cause the ship of the soul to be unable to bear the load, and the boat of memory to be unable to carry it, allowing the painful past to hold back the future. An old saying goes well: "To be angry is punishing yourself for someone else's mistake." Always remembering the bad deeds of others actually harms oneself deeply. Those who do not dwell on past mistakes are the ones who live happily and lightly.