My mom cried, cried so hard because her shoulders were shaking so badly. She cried and I felt like my internal organs were in turmoil with pain, as if millions of needles were pricking me over and over again until blood seeped out. The events that happened caught my family off guard. Facing all kinds of pressure, I was as fragile as easily broken glass. My willfulness over the years has caused my parents endless worry. Was our original happy paradise going to be destroyed just like this? If I could just fall asleep and never wake up, how good would that be? No烦恼, no忧愁, no pressure, no纠葛, no money, and no right or wrong, no colorful distractions, no diversity. Everything would be transparent white, clean white, pure white.