While writing this blog, I still call Ouyang Fan "younger brother". He got married on January 19th, and his wife's name is Hu Ling.
The reason why I write this blog now is that there was no network at home before, and secondly, I didn't want to use radical words to express some overly personal emotional statements when I was too emotional.
In May 2011, my younger brother bought a new house, three bedrooms and two living rooms, 140 square meters, directly across from our parents' shop, on the seventh floor, no elevator. There were three rooms inside the parents' shop. Previously, my parents had one room, my younger brother had one, and I had one.
On January 22nd, New Year's Eve, in my usual style of being a sleep god, plus my younger brother getting married on the 19th, I helped entertain relatives and friends until the afternoon of the 20th, feeling sleep-deprived. When I woke up at 9:30 in the morning, I heard my mother shouting loudly about how my father didn't know where to buy things and ended up lost somewhere. Yangfan wasn't at home either, she didn't have the key to the new house, we needed to prepare for the New Year's dinner, but there was no flour or seasonings. She would have to run back and forth, and the door of the new house wasn't closed. With so many thieves around during the New Year period, it was dangerous. She also mentioned washing bed sheets and couldn't find the detergent, and since she didn't know how to use the new automatic washing machine, the detergent was locked in my younger brother's room, and she didn't have a key. While my mother was complaining, I sent a message to my younger brother asking where he was, but he didn't reply. Half an hour later, I called him, and he said he was having the New Year's dinner at Hu Ling's house. I told him to come home early, as my mother was angry everywhere, and he should give her a key after returning. Around 3 PM, my mother called me over to eat at the new house, saying the New Year's dinner was ready. I was just about to leave when I saw my younger brother and her standing by the roadside talking. Then I happily shouted: "You're back, let's start eating." My younger brother heard me shout and came over to the shop. On the way to the restroom, he casually said there were no buses to take us back to the city. I asked how they returned. The woman followed behind with her usual cold face and said they took a taxi back. Then she went to the restroom too, and both their shoes were muddy, leaving mud all over the floor. I said, "Why is there so much mud?" She used a mop to clean it, and I said, "No need, let's clean it tonight, let's go eat first." Up to this point, everything seemed normal. On the way up the stairs to the seventh floor,
Me: Yangfan, when you have time, give my parents each a copy of the main door key. My mother said the key you gave before got lost when you got married.
Younger Brother: Okay, I'll get another one when I have time. I clearly gave one before.
Me: She lost it, she's been busy from morning till night and gets angry easily when she's busy. You know how mom is, this morning you weren't home, and she kept yelling at me. By the way, give mom a key to your room too, the detergent and mop are probably in your room's restroom.
Hu Ling: Can't you just buy her another bag of detergent? Why do you need a key?
I: My mom usually doesn't enter your room unless necessary. When we're not home, she can help tidy up your room.
Maybe because of this sentence, or maybe for other reasons, she often gets angry without cause. This isn't the first or second time. In the two years I've been in Guangzhou, I've witnessed her temper countless times. Before my younger brother and her moved to Guangzhou, my mom often worried about her on the phone, and I always said it's their business, don't interfere. If they split up because of you, my younger brother might blame you forever. It's better not to meddle; if they end up together and get married, it's fate. If not, it's their problem. Moreover, since ancient times, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law needs time to adjust. But when they finally moved to Guangzhou near my place, I realized how formidable she was, what we say in our hometown is "quietly cunning, death in life."
Let's get back to the topic. My younger brother walked in front, using the key to open the main door. Then my parents heard the door sound and enthusiastically said, "Which baby has come back?" I also warmly replied, "We're all here." Then this woman entered silently and slammed her room door shut. Since the wireless router was in the new house, separated by doors and walls, there was no signal. I had previously told my younger brother and her to leave a crack in their room door during the day, otherwise, there would be no signal in my room. I originally planned to help Uncle book train tickets online, but the signal was weak, QQ kept disconnecting, so I had to stop. I took the DV to the kitchen to film my parents' busy figures.
My parents started bringing dishes to the table. My younger brother stayed in their room for a few minutes, then came out to watch TV in the living room. I went over to ask him something, seeing his face full of gloom, but he still answered my questions. After a while, I couldn't find the mouse pad. Since my room didn't have a key and I was worried about my laptop being stolen, I placed it in their room. Thinking that perhaps my younger brother had used it, I called out twice, "Yangfan, Yangfan." My mother pulled me aside and whispered in the kitchen, "Did you call Yangfan? Who told you to call him? Look, Hu Ling came back and slammed the door, and your brother's face looks bad. Don't keep calling him, you're really disrespectful." I complained quietly, "What's wrong with her? I did call Yangfan, but I didn't say much, just told him to come back early for dinner and give you a key. And we were fine downstairs earlier, Central Prosperity. Why does she always act like this?"
All the dishes were ready, it was almost 4 PM. Since it was New Year's Eve, there were no breakfast places open on the street. I was starving, so I happily said, "Let's eat! Come quick, I'm about to pass out from hunger." My father was still bringing the last few dishes to the table and enthusiastically called out, "Yangfan, Hu Ling, Yang Dan, let's eat! All my babies, come eat!" I happily sat down at the table and replied, "Wow, finally we can eat, I'm about to pass out, it's so abundant!" Then my younger brother went into their new room. My father kept calling, "Yangfan, Hu Ling, let's eat." After calling five times, my younger brother came out and softly said Hu Ling wouldn't eat. My father seemed not to hear and kept calling in the living room, "Hu Ling, let's eat." After another five calls or so, I said, "Are they already full?" (It's somewhat funny because before she married in, from 2009-2011, she spent every New Year with us. Sometimes when asked why she didn't go home to her parents, she said there were no buses from Xiantao to Chenqiao.) My mother also asked, "Is she sleeping?" My younger brother softly said she wasn't sleeping. My father kept calling, "Hu Ling, let's eat." After another five calls or so, my father went to open their room. I heard my father say, "Hu Ling, even if you're full, you should sit at the table with the family. You can drink a cup of beverage too. It's New Year's Eve, it's a reunion day." She remained silent, and my father seemed to beg, "No matter what, please sit at the table to show respect." I have a short temper and a straightforward personality. Hearing my father talk for so long and she still remained silent, I sat at the table and loudly said, "Dad, if she doesn't want to eat, stop calling her already." Below is the exciting part, expressed in dialogue form.
My dad seemed not to hear me and continued with a begging tone, making me even more impatient. I rushed to their room and said, "Dad, if she ignores you, stop calling her already. Isn't it annoying?"
She suddenly seemed energetic: "Do you know, I ignore your dad because of you, because of you!"
Me: "How have I wronged you? Even if I made you angry, did I make my parents upset? Dad called you at least twenty times, can't you respond once? Is it because Yangfan is in conflict with you, if your parents called Yangfan, could Yangfan ignore them? During the New Year, you expect my brother to accompany you home for dinner? My brother isn't a son-in-law who marries into the family, why should he go to your house for the New Year's dinner?"
She began to lose control: "What do you know? I promised your mom we'd be back before two o'clock. This house was bought with the money I earned with Yangfan. Get out, roll out, don't step into my room, don't step into my house."
Me: "How can it be yours? How much money have you earned? Before Yangfan graduated, you worked for over two years, went to Shenzhen to look for a job, and didn't even have the fare. Yangfan sent you money through me. You studied computer science, last year (2010) when Yangfan came home, you stayed with me, and you couldn't even write a resume or use Word or Excel. Isn't it my brother's money you're talking about? A thousand yuan a month in Wuhan isn't enough to support yourself."
She: "Yangfan earned money these past two years, and we've been together these two years. It's our money, none of your business. I've put up with you for over two years. Now, get out, don't step into my house again."
Me: "Yangfan indeed earned money these past two years, but it's only because of my parents and me. Do you think he could be who he is today without them? My parents raised him, and I worked to pay for his university education."
She: "What does it matter to me that you paid for Yangfan's education? It has nothing to do with me. I know this house was bought with the money from Yangfan and me, it has nothing to do with you. I tolerate your parents for Yangfan's sake, what gives you the right to be in this house?"
At this point, my father spoke up: "That's not right. Things should be fair. If it weren't for your sister, she could have had a good future herself. Yangfan went to university, gained abilities, became smart and capable of earning money."
She: "What does it matter to me that she paid for Yangfan's education?" (Perhaps because my father helped me with a word, she lost control and started wailing) "I want a divorce, I want a divorce!" As she said this, she continuously threw the quilt on the bed to the ground and kicked the bed and table with her legs.
Me: "It doesn't matter to you. Give me the money back now, and I'll stay far away from you. I've tolerated you, but if you dare treat my parents this way, I won't forgive you."
She (pointing at Yangfan): "How much money? Pay her back, pay her back now. Then tell her to go far away, roll far away."
I looked at Yangfan, seeing him standing between her and my father, crying silently, wiping his tears, remaining silent.
My mother began pulling me back, saying as she pulled: "Why do you have to say such things? Can't you keep quiet? Go downstairs now. It's New Year's, can't you be calm? Let us worry less?"
I turned to see my mother crying uncontrollably, so I sat back at the dining table. Although I was extremely hungry, with my head spinning, I picked up a chicken leg intending to eat, but due to intense emotions, I experienced severe stomach pain and leaned on the table. At this moment, I heard my father speaking to her.
My father: "Hu Ling, let's calmly discuss a few things. You came into our family with dignity, and you're now a part of our family. No matter what, it's New Year's. If there's anything we've done wrong to you, we can slowly discuss and improve. Families should be united, not for others to mock. What problems can't be solved? Right? You're your parents' treasure, and I consider you my daughter too. Think about it, your sister has had a hard journey to today. She also busied herself with your wedding. If you have any dissatisfaction, you can speak frankly."
She: "I don't want to listen, I don't want to hear these things from you. Can you stop talking? Her actions are none of my concern. I only know that this house was bought with the money from me and Ouyang."
At this point, I couldn't sit still anymore and ran into her room: "Is it yours, then? Everything is yours. You know exactly how capable you are. Without my younger brother, what could you do? To become a Taobao customer service representative, my younger brother spent 3800 RMB sending you for training."
She (pointing at me and my father): "Both of you, get out. This is my house, don't talk to me. All of you, get out! Roll out!"
Looking at my father, I saw him shaking with anger. In my memory, my father has never quarreled with anyone, let alone argued. He's a typical honest and simple person. They say strict fathers and kind mothers, but my father has never scolded my younger brother and me easily. Looking at my father, seeing him unable to speak from anger, and looking at my younger brother still crying silently, that woman continued to be arrogant, repeatedly telling us all to roll out.
At the moment I saw my father and younger brother remain silent, I unexpectedly calmed down. She was still sitting by the dressing table beside the bed, and I said: "Hu Ling, I don't want to argue with you now, but please clarify what you mean. You said you've endured me for over two years. I want to know where I offended you?"
She (emotionally heightened): "I've endured you, endured you until today. I gave you face because of Yangfan. Last New Year (2011), when you came home, you disrespected me in front of my younger brother, and this time at the wedding, you told those relatives' children not to call me..."
Me: "When did I tell the relatives not to call you? I haven't said anything about you. Within a month of dating my *** (ex-boyfriend), you added him on QQ and told him I had a bad temper, and asked if he thought it through. What qualifications do you have to talk about me?"
She: "Where did I say that? Where did I say that? I never said it."
Me: "Someone sent me a screenshot of the chat records, and I can send it to you again. Right now, I just want to tell you, no one owes you kindness. It's your luck that my younger brother spoils and indulges you. I've tolerated your public insults on QQ for a long time, and even today, as soon as you entered the room and closed the door, you updated your status saying you felt sick seeing me. I've tolerated that too. You frequently mention divorce on QQ and post in your space that my younger brother is far inferior to other men. I feel uncomfortable seeing it, but only my younger brother can endure you."
She: "So what if I said it? You're still the older sister, do you know how to be an older sister..."
Me (interrupting her): "I am the older sister, and you're older than Yangfan too, so you're also an older sister, and you have a younger brother. I don't need you to teach me how to be an older sister. At least I can hold my head high in front of my parents and Yangfan."
She: "Both of you stop talking... Anyway, get out, this is my house."
My mother (shouting at me): "Can't you keep quiet? Why must you always have the last word? Go to the other room now. Are you trying to kill us with worry?"
As my mother scolded me and dragged me back, I didn't want my parents to be unhappy during the New Year, and my stomach was cramping painfully, so I returned to my parents' house, locked the door, and lay down on the bed. I blocked her on QQ and changed my QQ signature to say I was driven out. My cousin Liu saw it and texted me to ask what happened. I casually replied that I was driven out and hadn't eaten all day. Around 8 PM, reflecting on the situation, I felt somewhat uneasy and sent a text to my younger brother: "Return 25,000 RMB to me." Then I sent him my bank account details and asked him to transfer the money online. My younger brother didn't reply. I got up and watched the Spring Festival Gala on TV. At this moment, I heard my father talking to my mother, saying that my younger brother had just taken Hu Ling to the hospital by electric scooter because she couldn't remove her contact lenses. My mother, although dissatisfied that everyone else was happily celebrating the New Year while they were arguing and going to the hospital, still didn't add extra clothes and rushed to the hospital to check on her, not even knowing which hospital it was. About half an hour later, I heard my mother shouting that she had searched nearby hospitals but couldn't find them, and only learned via phone that they had already returned home on the scooter, while she and my father had waited in the cold wind for over ten minutes at the bridge. It was snowing heavily those days in our hometown, and it was particularly cold. My mother said, "I'll go upstairs to see them," and later told my father and me, "Nothing serious, they just treated the inflammation at the hospital. How could the contact lens not be removable? Her eyes were slightly swollen." I angrily said, "Who told her to wear contact lenses all day and apply eyeliner and mascara? Probably they stuck together, and now she's getting what she deserves." My mother said, "You're not harsh, whose mouth spares anyone?" Then my father started nagging me about learning to bear losses gracefully. I countered that it was because you were too lenient, now people are riding roughshod over us. Even if the house was bought with their money, it was still renovated with your help. Why is she so arrogant just three days after marriage? Divorcing now would be great; she'd immediately get a couple hundred thousand RMB. Later, discussing with my parents, I said she mentioned she endured two things from me:
The first thing you all knew, so did Uncle Four. Last year, when Yangfan booked tickets for the New Year, the tickets for the three of them (Yangfan, Hu Ling, and Hu Ling's younger brother) were together, and mine was in a different carriage. Well, this can be understood because at the time, one phone call could only book three tickets. But why did they only collect money from me, not from Hu Ling's younger brother? Besides, it was only 140 RMB anyway. And Yangfan told me not to buy food, saying he would pass some to me on the train. But after boarding the train, I called Yangfan several times before he answered, saying he had moved to another carriage, it was too crowded to squeeze through. That day, the train didn't sell rice or instant noodles (possibly because I was in a hard-seat carriage converted from a sleeper). For over 15 hours, there was only one cart selling water and drinks. I suffer from motion sickness, and I was very hungry. For over 15 hours, I vomited repeatedly, and all that came out was yellow bile. Finally, we disembarked, and my younger brother called me, asking me to wait for them to transfer to Xiantao. I was already at the exit, and it was drizzling lightly in Wuhan. I stood in the cold wind for about 20 minutes before seeing them emerge. As soon as she came out, Hu Ling said she needed to use the restroom. I asked, "Isn't there a restroom on the train?" She said the restroom wasn't usable. I stood there helping to watch their luggage for nearly forty minutes. During this time, I called my younger brother, and he said he couldn't find a clean restroom. Later, he said he had used the restroom and was preparing to eat breakfast. When I finally saw them all come out, I asked, "Can we go now?" But Hu Ling said