Introduction: If a person talks incessantly without regard for the occasion, you will find that everyone around him gets annoyed; if a person is very good at speaking, you will find that everyone around him likes him. So, what does it mean to speak appropriately? We will tell you right away.
When giving compliments, you should say...
1. Compliment actions rather than the individual. For example, if the person is a chef, never say: "You are truly an outstanding chef." He knows in his heart that there are more chefs who are better than him. But if you tell him that you eat at his restaurant half of the week, this is a very clever compliment.
2. Express compliments through a third party. If the person hears your praise indirectly through someone else, it adds an element of surprise compared to telling them directly. Conversely, if you are criticizing someone, do not convey it through a third party to avoid adding unnecessary fuel to the fire.
3. Polite words should be expressed appropriately. Politeness shows your respect and gratitude, so it should be moderate. If someone does something small for you, just say "Thank you" or "Sorry, this thing has caused you trouble." As for phrases like "My knowledge is limited, please give me more guidance," which lack sincerity, they can be omitted.
4. When receiving compliments, just say thank you. People generally respond to compliments with "Not really!" or smile it off. Instead, accept it openly and simply thank the other person. Sometimes when someone compliments our clothing or an item, if you say: "It's just a cheap thing!" it may embarrass the other person.
5. Have the grace to appreciate your competitors. When your competitor or someone you dislike is praised, don't rush to say: "But..." Even if you don't agree with them, on the surface, you should still say: "Yes, he works hard." This shows your grace.
When criticizing, never...
6. Criticism also depends on the relationship. Sincere advice isn't always well-received, even if you mean well, the other person might not appreciate it or even misunderstand your intentions. Unless you have a certain level of rapport or trust with the person, don't offer criticism casually.
7. Criticism can also sound pleasant. An easier way to express it is: "About your... I have some thoughts, perhaps you can listen."
8. Timing is crucial. Never criticize on Monday morning, as most people experience "Monday blues." Also, avoid doing so just before Friday's end of work, as it could ruin their weekend mood.
9. Pay attention to the setting. Do not criticize your friends or colleagues in front of others; these words should be said privately behind closed doors.
10. Offer suggestions simultaneously. Besides offering criticism, provide positive improvement suggestions to make your critique more persuasive.
When responding, be cautious...
11. Avoid inappropriate responses. Such as: "That's not right, it should be..." This makes it seem like you're deliberately nitpicking. Additionally, we often say: "I heard..." which feels like gossip and lacks propriety.
12. Don't reply with "Of course!"
This is a poor response; when the other person hears this reaction, they might think: "Do you know but still ask?" Therefore, just agree by saying: "Yes!"
13. Get rid of useless catchphrases. Everyone has habitual catchphrases when speaking, but they can easily annoy others. For example: "Do you understand me?" "Is it clear?" "Basically..." "Honestly..."
14. Remove unnecessary "noise." Some people habitually add particles like "ah" at the end of every sentence, such as "Just saying ah" or "Of course la." In more formal settings, this can appear less serious and dignified.
15. Don't ask "What does your company do?" If you meet someone at an event and they introduce themselves as working for a certain company, never ask: "What does your company do?" The event might be one organized by their company, making it awkward if you don't know. Also, don't say: "I heard you're doing great!" because their performance might have dropped by 30% this quarter. You should ask: "What position do you hold in your company?" If you don't know their profession, don't ask, as they might be unemployed.
16. Don't ask "Why?" to acquaintances. If your relationship isn't deep enough, asking "Why?" can sometimes come across as accusatory or prying into private matters. For instance, "Why did you do that?" or "Why did you make that decision?" These questions should be avoided.
Give face to others...
17. Don't assume everyone knows you. When meeting someone you've met before but don't know well, never say: "Do you remember me?" It might be awkward if they can't recall. The best approach is to reintroduce yourself: "Hello, I'm ..., it's great to see you again."
18. Rejection can also be polite. During meals, if the host recommends something you don't want to eat, you can say: "Sorry, I can't eat this dish, but I'll eat more of ...". Let the host feel that you genuinely like and appreciate the food they prepared. If you're full, you can say: "These dishes are really delicious, if I weren't full, I'd eat more."
19. Don't act like you're better than the other person. In social conversations, if someone says they were in New York for a week, don't say you were there for a month last time, as this can dampen their enthusiasm for sharing. Instead, follow up with how you feel about New York.
20. Don't correct others' mistakes. Don't overly criticize others' pronunciation, grammar, or facts, as it not only embarrasses them but also makes you appear too eager to show off.
21. If you don't know, don't pretend. If you're unfamiliar with the topic of conversation, frankly admit: "I'm not clear on this issue." Others won't continue to pressure you. Pretending to know can lead to more mistakes.
Read the situation, don't act impulsively...
22. Follow the one-second rule. After listening to someone talk, pause for one second before responding. This indicates that you were carefully listening. Responding immediately might make it seem like you were waiting to interrupt.
23. Listen beyond what is said. When listening to someone, what you hear is only what they know and are willing to share. Besides listening, we must also "observe." How do they behave? What do they do for a living? How do they allocate their time and money?
24. Timing is everything. When you need to discuss something with a colleague or supervisor, choose the right time based on the importance of your issue. If it's a personal trivial matter, don't disturb them while they're deeply thinking. If you're unsure when they're available, consider sending them an email first.
Avoid embarrassment with methods...
25. Smile and decline to answer personal questions. If someone asks a personal question you don't want to answer or makes you uncomfortable, you can politely smile and say: "I can't answer that question." This avoids embarrassing the other person while maintaining your boundaries.
26. Politely refuse indirectly. In many social situations, drinking is unavoidable. Don't directly say: "I don't drink." which could spoil the atmosphere. Instead, humorously say: "I'm better at pouring drinks for everyone."
27. Introduce yourself first. If you forget someone's name, treat it as a formal occasion and introduce yourself or present your business card. They will naturally reciprocate with their name and card, avoiding the awkwardness of forgetting their name.
28. Don't spread gossip. When a group discusses someone's gossip or rumors, don't casually chime in. Anything said will eventually reach the person involved. The best method is to not take a stance, simply say: "I'm not too clear on what you're saying."
29. Issue a "farewell signal." If you feel the conversation or visit should end, but the other person shows no intention of leaving, you can say: "Excuse me, I need to make a call, it might take a while..." or "Today, I really appreciate you coming..." You can also casually glance at your watch to indicate it's time for them to leave.
30. Make the other person feel important. If you seek help from a senior, you can say: "Because I trust you, I want to consult you..." making them feel respected.
Evaluate subordinates appropriately...
31. Directly describe the current situation. When opinions differ with subordinates, don't criticize directly but explain where the differences lie.
32. Seek solutions. If a subordinate's performance is unsatisfactory, inquire how it can be resolved instead of adopting a threatening attitude.
33. Actively offer assistance. If a subordinate's problem cannot be solved immediately, don't say: "Don't bother me with these things," but instead tell them: "I know someone who can help."
34. Use an equal tone. Managers should avoid saying: "I have over ten years of experience, just listen to me." A better way to phrase it is: "I've used this method, and it's effective. Would you like to try it?"
35. Flexibly accept subordinate opinions. Even if you have made up your mind, don't tell subordinates: "All these suggestions have been considered, no need to say more." Still give them a chance, saying: "I already have a plan in mind for this issue, but I would still like to hear your opinion."
Editorial note: Those who know how to speak well get things done more effectively. This statement is absolutely true. Learn the art of communication, not only will your interpersonal relationships improve, but your career will also run smoothly, leading to success.
[Great sharing starts here]
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