Li Qingping feeds water to his mother. Every half hour he helps the elder turn over, every hour he changes the elder's mattress; he gives the elder a massage twice a day and washes the elder once a day; if the elder has difficulty defecating, he uses a self-made round-headed wooden stick to help, or even uses his hands to assist. This is the daily "homework" of Li Qingping, a 63-year-old farmer from Cheng'an County, in taking care of his paralyzed mother. In order to take good care of his mother, he even shut down his own paper mill and quit smoking and drinking.
Unknowingly, Li Qingping has been by his mother's side for 15 years. Under his meticulous care, the elder has never had bedsores, and there is not a trace of unpleasant odor in the room. Recently, the reporter visited Dongbaozhuang Village, Shangcheng Town, Cheng'an County, and had a deep conversation with this filial son, Li Qingping.
Fate was cruel: The loving mother became a widow at a young age and became paralyzed in old age. On the morning of May 1st, while people were celebrating the holiday in various ways, Li Qingping still took care of his bedridden mother as usual. He boldly adjusted the elder's head with both hands, then fed water with a small spoon, and continuously wiped the saliva at the corner of the elder's mouth with a towel.
Li Qingping is 64 years old this year, a farmer from Dongbaozhuang Village, Cheng'an County, Handan City. In his mind, his mother is an extremely virtuous and kind woman, but she has suffered many misfortunes in her life and almost never enjoyed a day of happiness. When he was 10 years old, his father passed away due to liver disease, leaving his 29-year-old mother to shoulder the responsibility of raising her children alone. "In order to support the family, my mother worked hard in the fields during the day and spun yarns and wove cloth at night. Because we couldn't afford oil lamps, she lit an incense stick and used its faint light to spin yarns and weave cloth." In the 1960s and 70s, there wasn't enough food at home, and noodles could only be eaten occasionally. However, each time, my mother would give all the noodles to me and my sister, while she herself cooked some wild vegetables with noodle soup.
Children of poor families grow up early. Influenced by his mother, after growing up, Li Qingping not only worked hard, but also had a pioneering spirit, quickly becoming a "strong person" in the village. In 1994, he borrowed money to buy the village-run paper mill, making tens of thousands of yuan a year. The hard days were finally over, and the family was full of joy, living a prosperous life.
Li Qingping originally thought that happiness would continue forever, and his mother, who had worked hard for most of her life, would enjoy a happy old age. However, on February 29, 1996, Li Qingping's mother suddenly collapsed due to cerebral hemorrhage and lost consciousness. After the hospital's best efforts to save her, the elder's life was saved, but she became paralyzed on one side of her body and could no longer take care of herself. That year, Li Qingping was 48 years old, and his mother was 68 years old.
Common Filial Piety: The son closes the factory and stays by the bedside
With his mother paralyzed in bed and the paper mill needing management, should he return home to fulfill his filial duty or continue to operate the factory? Li Qingping had conflicting feelings in his heart.
"My mother's life has been too difficult. She raised us all by herself, enduring so much hardship. Worried about her children suffering injustice, she refused to remarry all her life, and the bitterness of it is something only we as her children understand. Now, with my mother paralyzed and needing care, I must not let her suffer any injustice." Therefore, Li Qingping decided to close the factory and stay at home to wholeheartedly take care of the elder. His thoughts were very simple at the time, "My mother's health is more important than money. Anyway, I have experience, and when my mother gets better, I can start a new business."
To facilitate taking care of his mother, after discussing with his wife, they added a single bed in front of their double bed and moved the elder into their room. From then on, they began a life where three people ate and lived together. Every morning, Li Qingping would get up early to cook, then help the elder wash, comb her hair, feed her water, and feed her meals.
Worried that the elder's limbs might atrophy from lack of movement, Li Qingping helped the elder turn over every half hour; since the elder had lost her ability to speak and had lost control of her bladder and bowels, he needed to frequently check the elder's bedding, changing the mattress on average every hour; because the elder often experienced difficulty defecating, he used a self-made round-headed wooden stick to help, or even used his hands to assist. In addition, Li Qingping gave the elder two massages a day and washed her body once a day. Someone once suggested that Li Qingping insert a catheter for his mother to avoid constantly changing the mattress, but he was worried about his mother's suffering and firmly refused, preferring to sleep uneasily for years.
As seasons changed and flowers bloomed and faded, unknowingly, Li Qingping had been by his mother's side for 15 years. Under his meticulous care, the elder was always clean, having never developed bedsores, and there was not a trace of unpleasant odor in the room.
Li Qingping's daughter said that for 15 years, in order to take good care of his mother-in-law, her father abandoned a promising business, quit smoking and drinking, and even stopped visiting relatives during the New Year. He no longer inquired about external affairs, almost living a life "isolated from the world."
The Heart of a Filial Son: Only I Understand My Mother's Needs
In most families, because women are more detailed and gentle than men and are better at housework, the heavy burden of taking care of the elderly and the sick usually falls on women. However, why does Li Qingping insist on personally caring for the elder instead of hiring a nanny or letting his sister and children take care of the elder?
"In fact, I also hope someone can take care of my mother for me, but I really can't let go. The elder worked hard all her life, and now she is paralyzed in bed, which is too heartbreaking." As soon as he mentioned childhood memories, Li Qingping's eyes began to redden: "I don't want the elder to suffer any more hardships, and only I know what my mother needs most!"
Li Qingping believes that taking care of a high-age paralyzed patient who cannot express themselves through language is not as simple as cooking or sweeping the floor. How much water to feed each time, when to start feeding, which parts of the body to massage daily, how much force to use, etc., are things others find hard to fully understand.
According to a villager, Li Qingping and his mother seem to have a telepathic connection. As soon as the elder hums, he knows what the elder wants. But if someone else serves her, the elder will refuse to eat or drink by turning her head.
Because of this, Li Qingping doesn't even "trust" his own wife and sister. No matter how tired he is every day, he insists on staying by his mother's side.
There is a saying: "Even a filial child cannot endure long-term illness." But Li Qingping, in order to take care of his paralyzed mother, resolutely closed his paper mill and no longer sought any business opportunities. Does he have no regrets? The Lis were once one of the richest households in the village, but now they can only rely on their children farming for a living. Li Qingping even had to quit smoking and drinking. Does he not feel bitter?
After pondering for a long time, Li Qingping said: "I was originally a man with great ambitions, and I once dreamed of becoming a famous entrepreneur. But I never expected that my mother would suddenly become paralyzed, and I didn't foresee that she would lie in bed for 15 years. Perhaps this is fate's arrangement. Maybe because my mother hadn't rested a single day before, heaven felt she was too tired and intentionally let her rest well." Li Qingping said that with the passage of time, he has become accustomed to everything around him, feeling not tired but blessed. Now, his greatest wish is to create a miracle in the world: to let his mother live to be 100 years old.
At the same time, Li Qingping also particularly thanks his wife and children. Because of their emotional support and financial assistance, Li Qingping can focus all his energy on his mother without worrying about daily meals and expenses.
Li Qingping said that for a long time, because he was focused solely on taking care of the elder and paid no attention to outside affairs, his mindset has become very peaceful. Perhaps precisely because of this reason, although he is already 63 years old, his body has never had any problems.
Regarding the two words "filial piety," Li Qingping has his own simple understanding: parents have worked hard all their lives and it's not easy. When they encounter difficulties, children must bravely take on the responsibility and not let the elders suffer.
By/Photographed by our reporter Wang Bin, Communicator Chang Hutao