Two Little Stories
On this day, a year later, January 31, 2012
Written on this day, the first anniversary of my departure from the UK,
written to men and women who are still struggling with unhappiness,
written to people who don't know what is most important,
written to those past events where there were no choices.
Written to those who hesitate over love or lack thereof, over giving up or not, over staying or leaving, remembering or forgetting, all while being sorrowful.
Often we want beauty, a good figure, the perfect other half, a quality life, to bask in the sun, to stroll through various brand-name stores, to become rich overnight, to return to the past, to time travel to see how our future self is doing.
Men want to earn a lot of money before coming back to marry that true beloved woman, women want to be perfect before going after that lifelong cherished person. When young, they want to grow up to be filial to their parents and live unrestrained lives, when older, they wish to return to a carefree childhood even for just a day.
After thinking about too many things, we forget our most genuine hopes. After thinking too much, we no longer remember that originally, all we wanted was a small house, a loved one, a steaming hot dish of braised beef with potatoes, a smile, a hand to hold, and a heart steadfast until death.
In fact, when you want everything, you end up getting nothing. Just choose the most important thing; otherwise, you'll end up empty-handed, sorry to your brain cells that crave satisfaction.
Never underestimate the woman by your side; she has a heart willing to wander with you to the ends of the earth. And never underestimate the man by your side; he forgets you faster than you can imagine—ten thousand times faster.
Often, we only discover at the very end that the person by your side or that former 'TA' is actually the best person you will encounter in a lifetime, the only one who holds you as a treasure. Only TA would stay with you through plain bread and pickles without ever leaving. Only TA would remain silent, without complaints, without regrets.
We think having a lot of money will bring happiness, but we don’t realize how many wealthy people would trade their entire fortune for just one more day of life.
We think having 'TA' will make us happy, but years later, we see him holding her hand, swaying away as they pass by us.
We think having dreams will give us wings, but in the moment we want to fly, we lose the courage to face the sky.
We think we've found a lifelong reliance and a lifeline in the vast sea of humanity, but unknowingly, we are merely someone else's spare tire, or a last resort after countless deliberations.
In reality, we often don’t know where to find someone to spend our whole life with, and we often don’t believe anyone would commit to old age with just a single word.
No one is willing to believe in an eternal bond, no one is willing to shoulder the responsibility for two people’s entire lives. Perhaps all she needs is a simple sentence: “I’m here, don’t worry!” Perhaps all he needs is a minute more of waiting and a bit more opportunity.
Perhaps if they had a little more patience and responsibility, they wouldn’t have missed each other.
Perhaps if there was a moment more of waiting and a bit more tolerance, there would be no regrets in this life.
A lifetime is long, giving us plenty of time to discover the flaws of those around us.
Yet a lifetime is also short; one second you’re laughing and planning to grow old together, the next you’re crying and parting ways forever.
The person holding your hand may be someone you never expected in this life. Gradually, you learn to wear your emotions on your sleeve, too lazy to hide or evade them, because why should sadness be kept only to oneself?
When others are sad, no amount of comforting helps. Instead, share your own sorrows to make them laugh. Who truly cares for whom? Who is really whose? If everyone understood this, life would be much simpler and happier.
I don’t want to die one day with my money in the bank and myself in heaven. So I choose to happily live each day, cherishing every person around me, treasuring every dawn given by heaven. Therefore, I should continue this bittersweet happiness, foolishly enduring every day of deceit.
The above is my reflection on my idle past year, and it serves as a motto to remind myself to strive for happiness and beauty in the coming year. Gods of all kinds in the heavens, please bless me and let me continue this simple happiness!
Take a look at these two little stories, if you still arrogantly believe that all your choices are undeniably correct, if you still stubbornly believe that wealth brings love, if you still extremely think that holding hands is a lifelong commitment.
Never underestimate a girl's determination to share both hardship and joy with you.
Story One:
He and she were first loves. He was her first man. They grew up together and officially started dating during their senior year in college. Both came from small towns.
After five years of shared hardships, the girl finally came to Beijing to join the boy who had been studying and working hard in Beijing all along.
The boy worked hard and saved 30,000 yuan, borrowed 20,000 yuan from his rich friend to pay the deposit. The boss promised him an 80,000 yuan bonus.
The boy meticulously calculated: with this 80,000, he could repay his friend and also cover the down payment on the house.
This way, he could provide a home outside Beijing’s Fifth Ring Road for the woman he loved, a small home of 38 square meters.
The boy worked harder than anyone, staying up late, working overtime, unwilling to buy clothes, even running an extra bus stop to save a yuan when commuting...
But life doesn’t always go as planned.
The 80,000 yuan bonus was denied by the unscrupulous boss, and the down payment deadline was drawing near;
His rich friend fell in love at first sight with his fiancée;
The fiancée was so beautiful, as his friend said: “Someone like her could easily find someone worth tens of millions.”
He hated it, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t match the advantages of being born into wealth. He couldn’t give his beloved woman anything,
So he doubted, suspected, went berserk,
He shouted at the girl: “Who wouldn’t want that kind of life! If it were me, I’d choose him too!”
In the end, lacking confidence in both the girl and himself, he made a choice between money and the girl,
He broke up with the girl and signed an agreement with the father of the rich boy, trading this "love" for a good job.
Later? There’s no need to say more.
Story Two:
This is a recent scene from a TV drama I'm watching,
where the girl says:
“I just want you, just the two of us living honestly together is enough. Whether the house is rented or bought doesn’t matter.”
But the boy still doubted.
Discussing this matter with a friend, he said: “This is normal, if I were in his shoes, I wouldn’t believe it either, if someone with better conditions pursued my wife.”
I consider myself neither a pure romantic nor particularly realistic, but I absolutely cannot agree with this statement.
Yes, who doesn’t love luxury cars and mansions, who doesn’t love someone presenting diamonds and lilies, who doesn’t love someone spending lavishly?
But living life isn’t like making a business deal.
If whoever offers more gets chosen, then we might as well avoid 90% of the sadness, distress, sleepless nights, and helplessness…
The girl chose to be with the boy. If she clearly knew what she wanted,
Why didn’t she choose someone worth tens of millions instead of someone with nothing?
Because of the days and nights we’ve spent together, because of the ways we’ve budgeted our lives, because of the pain and laughter we’ve shared,
Because you know my habits and preferences, because you understand my worries and troubles, because you comprehend my temperament and character,
This isn’t just the stirring “love,” but also the deep affection of mutual support.
Story Three:
I often hear such statements:
“If I had no money, would you leave me?”
“If one day I lost everything, you’d definitely leave me…”
“If someone better in every way came after you, you’d probably go with them, right?”
For goodness’ sake!
To wealthy men:
Being with a rich person is indeed a quick path to wealth, but no one is stupid. It doesn’t take long to see if someone is genuinely interested in you or just greedy for small gains.
To men who are neither rich nor poor:
If the girl truly desired something from you rather than loving you, why not work hard yourself? Why suffer under suspicion?
To men who have nothing:
Rather than worrying about your girlfriend leaving you for someone else, why not focus on improving yourself?
In dramas, it’s said that a penniless man is like a spineless mollusk. I think a man without ambition or drive is the real mollusk.
Forgive my harsh words, but many people simply don’t understand.
Most girls have a heart set on loyalty.
They may not dislike luxurious lives, but compared to that, they prefer the simple days of buying groceries together after work with you.
Moreover, when they choose you, they hope to witness and support your growth together.
Really,
Never underestimate a girl's determination to share both hardship and joy with you,
As long as you exchange it with sincerity.
In the end, you became the best person.
"Our feelings, should now be calm and peaceful."
I received news that my close friend is getting married. She’s marrying that man.
That man who, after eating dinner at his girlfriend’s house for the first time, left without helping clean up.
That man who, when inviting her to a concert, asked her to pay him back.
That man who, during renovations, left everything—water, electricity, property management, mortgage payments—all to her.
That man who put passwords on his phone, computer, and PSP.
That man who once made such a strong woman cry in front of us.
That man who once made us lose hope.
That man we once heard her grievances about and angrily wished she'd leave him.
Many times, she cried in her best friend's home, drank soup, and when he came downstairs to pick her up, she smiled and said, “I forgive him. I’m leaving.”
She forgave him so lightly, as if nothing had happened. We were furious, but she remained the same.
No man grows up without the embrace of a woman. His irritability, his coldness, his restlessness, his immaturity—all are erased by a woman.
And now they're about to achieve a happy ending—time is truly an incredible thing.
Now, he hands over his salary card and says to her, “Wife, this is for household expenses.”
On weekends, he buys groceries, cooks, washes dishes, cleans the kitchen, and says: “Wife, you’ve worked hard. Let me do it today.”
He takes her to Xiamen, Hong Kong, to watch movies, to shop, and says: “Spending ten thousand yuan to marry such a wife is worth it.”
He tells her his past stories, including that “Sophie’s Summer” which still bothers her, and the story of giving flowers on stage.
Although,
She still minds the story of him giving flowers on stage—not so much minding as being jealous, because knowing that he will never be that madly in love with another woman again.
Although,
He still smokes at home. He still loses his temper when he sees bitter melon on the dining table. He still acts as if his fiancée doesn’t exist when playing on his MAC.
But,
It’s already very good. Which woman expects her husband to be perfect like Michelangelo’s painting?
Everyone will be tamed eventually. One thing subdues another, like tofu curdled with brine, or Wang菲 marrying Li Yapeng.
A man is completely different when he gets married compared to when he first held hands. Is it because the woman beside him has amazing skills? Not really. Is it because she’s as beautiful as a celestial maiden? Not necessarily.
Compared to skill or beauty, more importantly, it’s kindness and wisdom, inclusion and respect.
If there must be something that causes change—it’s coexistence, time, the passage of years, the growing affection, the gratitude born from compromise.
It’s his quiet statement: “I won’t inexplicably treat a woman well from the start.”
One day, you, I, stand before the mirror of time, and we are all unrecognizable.
You’ll find that some people aren’t as good as you imagined; some people aren’t as bad as you thought.
You’ll find that some people you intended to hate forever;
Some people you thought you’d never see again in this life;
Some people you thought you wouldn’t end up with;
Some people you thought would never become so good.
But later, when you see him and can chat cheerfully, you turn around and burst into tears. You thought you had experienced enough changes in life and wouldn’t cry anymore.
The person holding your hand is someone you never imagined.
Achieving a happy ending is more romantic than a hasty marriage.
Why? Because at that moment, you forgive everything and feel that all the efforts were worth it. Regardless of emotions, you just feel that in this era, whether it’s you or him, surviving and pursuing happiness is incredibly difficult.
Loving you is so easy, but being together is so hard.
Who hasn’t come from those days of squeezing onto buses in 37-degree weather? In those days, we took care of ourselves while loving someone. Back then, we were brave, sincere, and open.
Later, we lived in our own houses. We even drove our own cars—especially women, we began to feel invincible, able to dismiss a man within three seconds if we didn’t get along. Men are the same; for thousands of years, even after thirty years of marriage, there’s no reason for them to be devoted, let alone for a woman they’ve known for three days.
In theory, we could give more to anyone, but instead, we behave like petty individuals, with restless hearts.
We invest too much effort into our work.
Falling in love, however, requires so much time, energy, and material investment, so naturally, we consider the return on investment.
No one will immediately treat someone else exceptionally well or reveal their innermost thoughts without reservation.
No one is foolish enough to post their partner's photos or identity prominently online just three days after meeting, proclaiming them as their boyfriend/girlfriend. While being together feels happy, breaking up makes it a laughingstock.
Then there’s blind dating. After finishing the meal, the server brings the bill, and both parties say, “Let me pay!” competing to see whose wallet comes out slower. We even joke, “Don’t date someone who’s about to have a birthday soon; if you buy a gift and then break up, it’s not worth it.”
We also calculate whether it’s necessary to meet again next time. If not, there’s no need to send anyone home, as taxi fare isn’t cheap.
How funny, how heartbreaking, love turns into a game of espionage.
All of this is merely to avoid getting hurt.
Actually, we should have realized long ago that in this day and age, no one is innocent when it comes to love. Before this, the darkest side of you and me will show itself. Greed, calculation, deception, comparison—who would be foolish enough to throw their heart away at the start, only to have it cut up and chewed on later, discarded into the trash can when patience runs out.
Why? Because, you, I, have all loved before, frankly speaking, everything relies on experience.
—Change. What we fear most is change. We fear not having enough time accumulated, we fear not loving deeply enough, we fear the aftermath of fireworks leaving scars everywhere—what we fear most is unforeseen changes due to insufficient understanding.
This year, everything comes at a cost, and love is the most expensive.
And I just believe that despite all this, I am still a kind girl, still a gentle girl, just with an added layer of hardness—a protective shell, www.jhjc99.com, not so radiant, looking arrogant and worldly-wise. The softer the heart, the harder the shell must be, otherwise, how can one endure the long journey of life.
Tough times, Guangzhou long-distance moving car shipping company www.gdhc56.com. How many can persist in love until the end? Talking about deep love, the best-looking relationship is just a marathon of love. A few years later, though we know we still care, though we know we still love, yet overnight you marry another woman, and I quickly marry another man. Missing is harder to face than wrong love.
We are experiencing an era of fast-food love and instant marriages. The reasons for splitting up faster and faster are because there’s no time or patience to understand someone. There’s even less time to forgive and wait for someone. Before he transforms into our perfect couple, ideal lover, soulmate, we can’t wait to leave them.
Nurturing love is like digging a well, requiring sufficient time to explore, dig, wait, cry, persevere, and believe. But precisely now, we lack nothing except time. We have time to steal vegetables in games but not to seriously understand someone.
What we lack even more is the desire and mood to understand someone.
Why? Still afraid. Afraid of walking through mountains and rivers only to find the heart opposite us shiny on the surface but barren inside. Disappointment is more painful than injury.
From then on, everyone in the world hopes for fate, hopes for love at first sight, continues to believe in perfect couples and soulmates. Every day dressed beautifully, hoping to meet love around the corner.
Perfect couples. Soulmates. Such beautiful words, those were our former aspirations: that man should be like this, that woman should be like that, everything should be born for us.
But gradually, we come to understand that without walking a segment of the road together, how can one walk through life together? It’s not that men buying houses and cars attract good women, nor that women fixing their noses and chins can bind good men.
Move-in ready and destined pairs, these words in marriage are synonymous with unreliable.
Some things are like jade, needing polishing to appear perfect.
Some people are like roses, needing layer by layer to uncover their hearts.
A few days ago, someone asked me: Do you still believe in love?
For a moment, I really didn’t know how to answer.
If I say I don’t believe—because I simply don’t believe in mirages, golden boys and silver girls, solemn vows. In this world, time is the most precious, and eyes are the most deceiving.
I don’t believe, because I’m also a good girl who grew up standing on the shoulders of scum.
I believe, because compared to love, I believe more in the word ‘feeling’. Believing in mutual support and growing old together, believing in the eventual happy ending after twists and turns. Like watching my close friend's TV drama reach its conclusion.
From fireworks to daily life, how many years did it take? At your wedding, the acceptance speech you should give is: Thank you for misunderstandings, thank you for differences, thank you for arguments, thank you for obstinacy, thank you for frowns, thank you for not breaking up. From encountering to accepting, from adjusting to changing, from fireworks to lasting companionship, you both walked a long and winding road.
Choosing a wife or husband is not like choosing a PSP; if it looks good, you take it home immediately, only to find out later it can't be dropped, scratched, or yelled at, and when you get bored, you swap it for a new model. When the version becomes outdated, you just buy another.
The person you spend your life with is like a refrigerator. You’d rather shop longer to choose one that lasts decades without breaking. Placed at home, opening it reveals dim yellow light, a fresh interior. A wife should be noise-free, a husband pollution-free. No matter how strong the gunpowder smell outside or how high the temperature of conflicts, what needs to be frozen is frozen, what needs to be preserved stays fresh. To outsiders, she appears elegant, but inside, she feels comfortable. The family's sustenance is all stored within. Even if neglected for a few days, it’s fine; no one hugs a refrigerator all day. A good refrigerator remains unchanged for ten years; as long as it’s not unplugged, it will never stop working.
The thing that tests quality the most is undoubtedly time.
If all women or men seek is a playmate or a lover, then proceed superficially. Select based on age, height, weight, monthly income, zodiac sign—it's easy.
But if what you seek is weathering storms together, seeking heart-to-heart connections, seeking late-night conversations, seeking harmony between husband and wife, seeking an affectionate couple growing old together, don’t think love is a matter of instant attraction and social status leading to everlasting happiness.
Unless you've gone through countless twists and turns, you won't understand how many branches and vines occur along the way, requiring you and him to overcome obstacles and endure hardships together, leaving your struggles etched in time.