The weather was very good in the morning, so how come there's suddenly no sunshine? It seems a bit overcast. The exam is over, but I feel very upset in my heart. Of course, it's not because I'm worried about the results, it's just that I can't stand that person, and thinking about it makes me even more upset... I don't know if the weather made me melancholy or if I made the weather so bad. This has happened before; whenever I encounter bad weather, I inexplicably fall into sadness. Sad events spread like weeds in my heart. I hate myself at this time, always feeling so sad, so heartbroken, so cold... Every time, I want to control myself, but sometimes I just can't do it. I hurt others and harm myself, so I don't like it... I picked up my phone and watched the font size change from normal to large and then small again... I just don't know what's wrong with me. I'm already an adult, but I can't take care of myself. Whenever I want to love myself, I am always stopped by various excuses I find for myself. At a young age, I shouldn't be too extravagant, and I'm always stingy with myself. How could I not know "be good to yourself, because no one really knows what you need"? But I still feel like I have plenty of time... My hands are naturally cold, and every winter when I see my frozen red, icy cold hands, my heart really hurts. It's not that I don't protect them; in fact, I care more than others because I know they are my biggest weakness in winter. But they end up being as cold as a dead man's hand anyway. I want to complain, why was I born this way? Sometimes I really want to cry, truly, but what's the point? It can't change anything, and I don't want others to see me crying at this age... Sometimes I feel extremely wronged and can only tell myself it's okay. I always tell my parents that I've grown up and can take care of myself, don't worry all the time, but in the end, I find out that I'm not as strong as I pretend to be! It's just cold today, winter should be beautiful, but I don't know when it became a kind of torment. Looking at my red hands, how can I not feel sorry for myself? I just hate myself... I really want to cry, I feel so wronged... All sorts of feelings, tears falling uncontrollably, I just turn around and walk away...