When I came out of the library, it was already 7 pm in the afternoon, and the sunset had quickly faded from the crimson clouds. As evening fell and night approached, I would almost always appear quietly during these specific times of day. I have almost become accustomed to this ordinary yet comfortable life, except for class time.
Everyone who knows me says that I am very sentimental, that's because they don't understand. Those who do understand me say that I am an outgoing and magnanimous big boy, that's because they have never entered my inner world... However, speaking frankly, even I myself don't know exactly who I am. Sitting among a large group of friends, I can laugh loudly and talk endlessly, but with the same group of friends, in a different setting, I might suddenly become very silent, even cold, so much so that no one dares to approach me.
When the music ends and people disperse, only memories remain, carrying a tinge of melancholy. I repeatedly look back silently, but can no longer find the way I came.
On the basketball court, students from two colleges are playing a match. It's already after class, and tomorrow is Sunday, so everyone who has nothing to do wants to come and join in the excitement. Therefore, the entire basketball court is surrounded by a sea of people. I'm holding several novels I just borrowed from the library, as well as a large stack of heavy textbooks. I originally planned to cross through the playground, but after hesitating for a long time, I finally decided to go around instead, because I didn't want to brush past unfamiliar faces or rush past bewildered eyes.
I've gotten used to reading and writing alone, listening to music alone, looking at unfamiliar scenery alone, walking through the campus at sunset with my hands in my pockets or holding a thick notebook quietly.
Youth is like a series of splendid yet silent movies. In the years we miss, who is whose passerby, who is whose companion, and in the end, who loses who, or who forgets to take who away? There's no evidence for any of this. Perhaps all of this can only be answered by time.
The evening breeze after the heat of summer gradually subsides, gently brushing against my face, and I feel a hint of coolness. I've always liked this gentle and soft sensation, warm and without sharp edges.
Little E said my personality has a dual nature, to quote a famous person, it's the type that's half bright and half sorrowful, and I think it fits pretty well overall. I haven't thought about letting everyone understand my sadness, I just want to be myself...
As the sky slowly darkens, although I continue to walk alone, I still wear a smile on my face and pass quietly by each youthful face...