Xinhua News Agency, Shanghai, December 10th (reporters Yang Jinzhi and Li Shuo of "China Web Affairs") In Shanghai, Aunt Bai is a big celebrity. Although she holds no official position, she is adored by tens of thousands as the "mediator," whose words carry great weight in resolving disputes; online, Aunt Bai also enjoys considerable fame: nearly ten thousand "followers" on Weibo seek her help to solve problems, making her an online "Weibo mediator."
Aunt Bai's real name is Bai Wanzheng, a member of the Shanghai Municipal People's Congress and a people's mediator; she was born the same year as the People's Republic of China and once participated in the up-to-the-mountain-and-down-to-the-countryside movement, later returning to Shanghai to serve as the director of the street propaganda department; after retirement, she became famous through a TV mediation program called "Old Mediator," which made her popular throughout Shanghai; now, Bai Wanzheng has embraced the internet again, telling "stories of ordinary people."
"Electronic Mediation," Listening with Heart
The "Old Mediator" Bai Wanzheng is a very busy person. Not only do people from Shanghai, but also many from Jiangsu, Zhejiang, and other places, confide their most secret and embarrassing family matters to Aunt Bai, asking her for advice.
Long before becoming a "Weibo celebrity," Bai Wanzheng had already opened a blog and email account online to answer questions and resolve doubts for those seeking help. Every night before going to bed, she would check her email one more time, even if it was late into the night, she would reply to netizens' messages, "because most of the online help requests are urgent, I cannot betray the trust of the netizens."
In May this year, Bai Wanzheng launched her Weibo account, not to follow fashion, but to mobilize netizens to come up with ideas together, "I encounter all kinds of situations, and I'm not sure if my advice hits the mark; moreover, there are many professional legal issues that I cannot possibly know everything about." At this point, she found that her real name "Bai Wanzheng" had already been registered by someone else, so she simply registered as "Aunt Bai."
"Aunt Bai! After marrying my husband, we had a son, and at that time, we were very happy and harmonious. Who knew that my husband would have an affair, leading us to divorce, but my parents-in-law always recognized me. Now my husband has broken up with the third party and brought along a pair of twins. My parents-in-law and husband are desperately asking me to return home. I can accept my husband because we still have feelings, but I cannot accept those two children. What should I do?"
The person who sent this Weibo message to Aunt Bai is named "Smile," from Wuxi, Jiangsu. Aunt Bai spent quite a lot of effort dealing with this matter. Initially, Bai Wanzheng patiently counseled "Smile": "As long as infidelity is not your husband's nature, you should still accept him. As for the twins, although they are not your biological children, they are innocent too. If you sincerely treat them, they will thank you and repay you in the future."
After seeing the reply, "Smile" was still conflicted and recounted various dilemmas, such as another man pursuing her simultaneously.
Amidst her confusion, a series of misfortunes struck one after another: her ex-husband died in a car accident, her mother-in-law passed away due to a heart attack, "Smile" herself fell down the stairs and got injured, and "Smile's" son showed tendencies towards suicide due to these changes... Each time something happened, "Smile" would send emails, text messages, or even make direct phone calls to Bai Wanzheng, and Bai Wanzheng patiently gave her advice each time. This back-and-forth communication has occurred no less than sixty times.
"Anyone who comes to me, after just five minutes of talking, I can basically judge where the problem lies," Bai Wanzheng analyzed, "'Smile's' biggest flaw is being too domineering, wanting full control over her husband and son. Her ex-husband's infidelity in the past was wrong, but I asked her whether it was because she managed everything? She admitted it. For example, I asked her to give me her son's phone number so I could call him, but the one who answered was still her. Because of this, I've criticized her more than once."
Although Aunt Bai doesn't mince words, "Smile" recognizes this "old mediator" and told Aunt Bai, "Once I make a decision, no one can overturn it, which might be my biggest flaw in life. But I only listen to you, Aunt Bai, it's a kind of fate."
Under Bai Wanzheng's repeated persuasion, both "Smile" and her son's emotions gradually stabilized. On December 7th, Bai Wanzheng went to Wuxi on business and specially visited "Smile" at the hospital. This broke one of Bai Wanzheng's principles: "Except for appearing on TV, I don't meet with the parties involved, otherwise, even with three heads and six arms, I couldn't handle it all." Now, "Smile's" life continues, and Aunt Bai remains in close contact with her.
Many such stories of common people and human joys and sorrows are hidden in Aunt Bai's email inbox and mobile phone.
Weibo Questions, Netizen Relay
Bai Wanzheng frankly admitted: "When facing many requests for help, actually my replies aren't necessarily brilliant, nor are they standard answers. I find that many netizens' replies are quite clever. The wisdom of the masses is truly infinite!"
Bai Wanzheng recommended a particular Weibo post to the reporter: "My father has many bad living habits, such as sometimes not closing the bathroom door and not flushing; often walking around in his underwear in the living room, balcony, kitchen, etc.; he makes loud chewing noises while eating; when traveling with my parents, my dad often forgets to zip up his pants, which embarrasses me greatly because my husband is American."
This was posted by a female netizen in her thirties, who came back from the U.S. with her husband for a short stay. Her American husband could tolerate it, considering the age of the elderly, but she herself felt humiliated, so she sought help from Bai Wanzheng. Bai Wanzheng thought it was typical, so she removed the name and posted it online to ask netizens for suggestions.
For this Weibo post, there were over thirty replies from netizens. A netizen named "Bai Que Ling" from Xinmin commented: "Sometimes not closing the bathroom door might be trust, or maybe he fears an accident. Not flushing might be saving water; loud chewing might mean he's enjoying the meal at his daughter's house; don't be embarrassed, don't torment yourself."
Some consoled, while others disapproved. A netizen named "Bu Gao Xing De Tuan" left a message: "Do Americans never grow old? Do all American men remember to zip up their pants after using the toilet? Don't lose face!"
In fact, for every case posted on Weibo, Bai Wanzheng had already replied via email to the concerned party. For this lady, Bai Wanzheng's reply was: "At this age, it's hard to change old habits. You must accept him and tolerate him. Even if you remind him, you need to choose the right moment and tactfully express it. If you argue with him face-to-face, he'll become unhappy and more stubborn."
Through Aunt Bai's Weibo, one can see the myriad facets of society. For instance, there are cases of "living off parents," elder abuse: "An elderly couple in their sixties complained about frequently being beaten and scolded by their 'parasitic' son..." There are even young students seeking help: "I am a sixth-grade student, good at Chinese and math, but very poor at English, yet I work hard! What's the reason? What should I do?"
...
People's Mediation, Warming Hearts
"I am lowly in rank but dare not forget the worries of the country!" This is a phrase Bai Wanzheng often repeats.
Bai Wanzheng is straightforward, and during mediation, once she discovers any wrongdoing, she immediately raises her voice, points fingers, and delivers a stern reprimand. After finishing her lecture, she turns around and scolds the disadvantaged party, calling them "confused." Strangely enough, both the wrongdoer and the disadvantaged party obey her. After a round of reprimands, both parties willingly sign the mediation agreement.
She brings this style to Weibo as well. "Some mistresses, after being abandoned, still want to come to me for rights protection." Bai Wanzheng said, "I clearly tell them, no support! These girls are lazy and idle, originally wanting to find a rich man as a crutch, willing to sell their youth."
Facing countless appeals for help from the public, Bai Wanzheng said, "I am also thinking, is my strength alone enough?" She believes that what seem like trivial domestic squabbles actually reflect loopholes in social management. Aunt Bai informed the reporter that through mediating so many conflicts, she has "ten major concerns" about society, including household registration issues, domestic violence, gambling and high-interest lending, grassroots community management, migrant workers' social security, difficulties for children of outsiders in entering daycare centers or kindergartens, extramarital affairs, etc., hoping that netizens will pay attention together and propose solutions.
"Weibo is not omnipotent; there are so many social problems, and it's impossible to find solutions for all of them." Bai Wanzheng said, "But through Weibo, people exchange more, misunderstandings decrease; discussions increase, arguments decrease; knowledge increases, ignorance decreases; outlets increase, anger diminishes... Isn't the network like this, isn't real life also like this?"