The following is the transcript of this online discussion:
Host: Netizens, our guest for this online discussion has arrived. Please feel free to ask questions.
Respected Principal Yang, I am very glad to see this message. For a long time, issues regarding educating my child have been troubling me. I would like to ask you a few questions. My child is in the sixth grade and is a strong-willed girl. She is lively, active, gets along well with her classmates, and is popular. Her friends mostly perform well academically, but my child's academic performance has never been ideal. Her Chinese and English are at an upper-middle level in the class, but her math scores are consistently around 70 points. For this reason, we have tried many methods, but with little effect. The reasons are: 1) The child does not want a tutor. 2) Our excessive preaching falls on deaf ears (we come from a family of teachers, and we have tutored her before, but with poor results). I hope you can help solve this problem. Thank you!
Yang Yi: First of all, I thank you for your trust, and congratulate you on having a cheerful daughter.
You mentioned that the child's academic performance is uneven. There could be several possible reasons for this:
1. The child lacks interest in learning mathematics.
2. Long-term low scores have caused her to lose confidence in studying mathematics.
3. Excessive parental pressure has created resistance towards mathematics.
4. The child's methods for studying mathematics are not scientific or appropriate.
Suggestions:
1. Learn to preview lessons actively before class. Before new mathematical concepts are explained, it is important to carefully read the textbook and develop the habit of previewing lessons, which is an important means of acquiring mathematical knowledge. When studying examples, understand what content they cover, what conditions are given, what is being sought, how the book solves the problem, why it is solved that way, whether there are alternative solutions, and what the steps are. Focus on these key issues, think deeply, and learn to use existing knowledge to independently explore new knowledge.
2. Master problem-solving methods and summarize problem-solving patterns. During the learning process, it is important to learn problem-solving methods, especially effective ones. Encourage the child to explain their problem-solving ideas daily, and persistence will surely yield results.
3. Be good at questioning and challenging difficulties. Thinking begins with doubt. Students' active thinking often starts with doubt, and learning to discover and raise questions is the key to learning innovation. As renowned educator Gu Mingyuan said, "A student who doesn't know how to ask questions is not a good student." Encourage the child to humbly ask others after independent thought and to question problems.
Finally, one particularly important reminder is that as the child enters the sixth grade, changes occur in both psychology and physiology. A strong personality is normal, but we need to guide it into healthy development. Also, learning is a gradual process. First, work on the child's psychology, helping her change her perception of mathematics, cultivating interest in it, and stimulating emotional engagement in it, so she learns mathematics effortlessly.
MXH: The child performs well when we dictate words at home, but makes numerous mistakes when doing the same thing at school. We're at a loss. Could Principal Yang please offer some advice? Thank you!
Guest: There might be two reasons: 1) The rhythm and atmosphere during dictation at school differ from those at home; 2) The child's grasp of knowledge is still not solid enough.
MXH: When we ask a question, the child gives a very brief answer or sometimes remains silent. We feel our education has failed. What should we do?
Yang Yi: Communicate more with your child and become their friend.
Message Board: We noticed that the child always plays alone or only with one or two friends at school and does not initiate interactions with others. Is it okay to let this continue?
Yang Yi: School is a transitional stage for children moving from family to society. Peer interaction is an important part of interpersonal communication, and children should be guided to cooperate and communicate effectively.
Message Board: The child doesn't show parents their test papers. Should parents search through their bags to find them?
Yang Yi: We all hope for our children to grow up healthily and happily, so we pay more attention and care for them. Imagine if the child randomly went through our briefcases—how would we feel? Children also deserve respect. Choose an appropriate way to guide them.
Message Board: The child is tired of memorizing things while studying. What should we do? This is a very typical issue. We'd like Principal Yang to address it.
Yang Yi: Memorization requires methods; rote memorization is ineffective. Instead, flexibly memorize keywords.
Viewer: Principal Yang, greetings!
My child attends Juyuan School. In first grade, there were no noticeable issues, but since second grade, the child's progress has significantly regressed compared to classmates of the same age. As parents, we feel more worried than reassured. How should we adjust the child's state? Specifically, what should we do? Please advise, Principal Yang. Thank you.
Yang Yi: The child isn't regressing; other children may simply be adapting to school life faster. Please don't worry. Contact Academic Affairs Director Li as soon as possible, and we will jointly focus on the child's growth.
Viewer: Is Academic Affairs Director Li Ms. Li Ling?
Yang Yi: Yes.
MXH: The child is always thinking about playing, which affects their studies. What should we do?
Guest: Personally, I believe play is also a form of learning. The key is what they play, how they play, and whether they gain something from it.
Qingfeng001: My child is in fifth grade. Hoping for broader knowledge and better academic performance, I buy many books for the child. However, the child seems uninterested in those books and rarely reads them. Even forcing them to read shows little effect. If not pressured, the child won't read voluntarily. The child doesn't like reading. What should we do, Principal Yang?
Yang Yi: First, it shows that you are a very responsible parent who values the child's growth. Ultimately, the issue boils down to how to cultivate the child's interest in reading.
Having many books at home doesn't necessarily mean they are suitable for the child to read. Different age groups have different reading tendencies. Elementary school students generally have strong curiosity and enjoy showing off, desiring mystery, adventure, and excitement. They admire intelligence, bravery, and grandeur. Therefore, classics of children's literature such as *The Adventures of Baron Munchausen* and *Andersen's Fairy Tales* are good choices for guided reading.
Wangwang Dad: My child likes to play pranks and recently has had frequent minor conflicts with classmates at school, such as deliberately pushing classmates during games and pretending ignorance, hiding in corners to scare timid classmates, and finding joy in it. Such incidents happen every day, causing headaches for both teachers and parents. What should I do?
Yang Yi: Did your child used to behave this way?
Qiming Mom: First-grade children start learning to write sentences, and their written language often carries oral habits. How can we correct these habits? How can punctuation be taught to children?
Yang Yi: Encourage more reading and storytelling, internalizing standardized written language as their own. Punctuation learning will gradually be mastered according to the curriculum's progress under the guidance of Chinese teachers in class.
Xiaoyu Mom: My child is in first grade. Since both my husband and I are very busy, the child was raised by grandparents, who took care of everything. Now that the child is in school, we've found that the child's independence is very poor. They often lose things, lack initiative in doing things, depend on others for everything, and have significant gaps compared to other children in standing posture, sitting posture, and listening habits.
Yang Yi: In the current first-grade students, most are only children in their families. These children have been pampered and meticulously cared for by their entire families since childhood. Even if not entirely handed over to grandparents, elders have taken care of everything for the child. Naturally, from a young age, they didn't need to use their hands or brains because everything was handled by adults. Once problems arise, the child will confidently push all responsibility onto the parents, and some parents even take on all the responsibility voluntarily. Over time, they will develop a strong dependency. We have seen many reports of such children in the media; some go to university and cannot live independently, requiring their mothers to accompany them; some graduates need their parents to attend job fairs with them; entering the workforce, they cannot handle interpersonal relationships or deal with emergencies. Clearly, the problems your child exhibits are common among only children and must be addressed during childhood.
Yuetongda: Principal Yang, my son is in fourth grade, excels academically. Should his mathematics training include Olympiad preparation, or should we let it be? Please advise.
Yang Yi: Mathematics is the gymnastics of the mind. If the child enjoys mathematics and has a strong interest in learning it, then allowing further development in this area could be beneficial.
Happy Day PP: A fourth-grade boy frequently makes mistakes in arithmetic problems this semester, including vertical calculations. Despite practicing mental arithmetic daily with thirty problems, he still makes errors, with a minimum of one mistake per day and up to five or six. The simpler the problem, the more likely he is to make a mistake. What should we do?
Yang Yi: Please pay more attention to fostering the child’s habit of focused study and careful checking.
Xiaoyu Mom: We just realized there are so many issues with the child, and as parents, we don’t know where to start helping the child correct them. Kindly request Principal Yang's guidance.
Guest: First, you should cultivate the child’s self-confidence, making them believe “I can do it.” Most dependent children lack confidence and are reluctant to solve problems on their own, instead seeking help from parents, teachers, or classmates. Establishing their confidence is therefore crucial.
1. Encourage the child to do manageable tasks at home. Parents' guidance should be specific and clear, ensuring the child understands how to proceed. Vague instructions can leave the child unsure and indecisive. Adults should train the child in basic life skills early, such as dressing, wearing shoes, wiping tables, and completing simple delegated tasks independently. Wherever the child can manage, adults should refrain from intervening, giving the child ample time to think and try, discovering their abilities. When the child feels capable of doing something well, they will act decisively. Initially, they may encounter problems, but after a few exercises, they will manage their affairs well. For example, a grandmother trained her first-grade granddaughter to pack her schoolbag herself. One day, she forgot to bring her water bottle due to being busy and ended up thirsty all day, drinking a bit of a classmate's water. The next day, her first action upon waking was to fill her water bottle and put it in her schoolbag, and she hasn’t forgotten since. Educational theory refers to this as the “natural consequence educational method,” which is highly effective.
2. Provide necessary assistance to the child. For more difficult tasks, parents must not take over completely but should assist the child and teach them methods and techniques to overcome difficulties gradually. Successful experiences will enhance their confidence and decisiveness.
3. Correctly evaluate what the child does. Don't set overly high expectations; encourage more and criticize less. Reward the effort rather than just the success. For things the child tries hard at but fails, parents should express understanding, telling them, "It's okay, keep trying slowly. I made similar mistakes when I was young." Correct evaluations from parents can reduce the child's psychological pressure, encouraging them to bravely decide next time.
QINGFENG001: With so many books available now, going to the bookstore is overwhelming. How do we choose suitable books for the child?
Yang Yi: Parents are the child’s closest teachers and should communicate more with them regularly. First, understand the child's interests and inspire their enthusiasm for reading accordingly. Then, help expand their interests to include areas like children's lives, historical stories, and scientific knowledge. Books can range from novels, fairy tales, to fables, unrestricted in genre, as long as the content is healthy and positively influences the child's thoughts, morals, intellect, and emotions. Recommending such literature will broaden the child’s reading horizons.
Stubborn: Principal Yang, I have too many confusions and helplessness regarding my child's studies. I hope you can provide guidance. Since starting school, the child has had constant issues. Mainly, regardless of what homework they do, the error rate is too high, either due to carelessness or possibly lack of effort. As parents, we review with them daily, yet there's no visible improvement. Now in second grade, the child doesn't even want to do the teacher-assigned homework, leading to frequent calls from the teacher to the parents. We’re at a loss. After medical checks, it was said the child has sensory integration dysfunction and insufficient learning ability development. What specifically should parents do in such cases? Thank you!
Yang Yi: Perhaps our tutoring methods aren't effective, or perhaps the child receives no praise even after completing homework. Remember, children likely have more confusion and helplessness. Give them effective help, sincere encouragement, confidence in progress, and more love. The road to growth is long, and with the support of loved ones, they will be happy.
Jacklily: My son will soon start school. Besides preparing materials, please offer suggestions in other areas. As a mother, how can I best utilize this time to help the child prepare in other aspects? What can I maximally do? As a mother yourself, how did you prepare? I look forward to your guidance. Thank you!
Yang Yi: Preparations before school are crucial. Besides material preparations, the most important is psychological readiness. Our school will provide relevant materials on our campus network for you and other parents with similar needs. You can access these on the Experimental Primary School's website. I’m sure you'll find satisfactory answers, and I hope your child adapts quickly to school life and grows happily.
Xiaoyu Mom: Listening to Principal Yang's words moved me deeply. As parents, we indeed neglected our responsibilities, pushing all educational duties to the grandparents. We’ve always focused on the child's physical health but ignored the cultivation of daily habits, resulting in many issues now. I regret this! Recently, I've been focusing on correcting the child's standing, sitting, and walking postures, but there hasn't been much improvement. I've lost confidence!
Yang Yi: Cultivating any habit requires persistence and repetition. It's said that twenty-one days can form a good habit, so just keep doing it every day! To correct the child's standing, sitting, and walking postures, involve every family member to constantly focus on and promptly praise or correct these aspects. Implement a reward system and maintain timely communication with the teacher to create a unified effort between home and school. Believe that your child will improve significantly within a short period. Please have full confidence in your child, as your confidence will be the driving force behind their progress.
8878878qaz: Principal Yang,
Greetings!
My child procrastinates and doesn't use time efficiently. Homework often extends until nine o'clock, leaving the child exhausted, sleeping late, and arriving late the next day. This affects both learning efficiency and rest and playtime. How can I help the child learn to use time reasonably and effectively?
Yang Yi: Issues will inevitably arise during a child's growth. I personally believe the problem your child faces is related to efficiency, which can be resolved through habit formation.
Sea Moonlight: The child writes assignments sloppily, treats learning casually, finishes tasks superficially, doesn't check their work, and dislikes parents checking either. Knowing there are mistakes, they still refuse to correct them. Forcing corrections causes great distress. Pushing too hard leads to severe rebelliousness. Should we strictly discipline or let nature take its course? Should parents check the child's homework? What if the child ignores requests? How can this situation be changed? Thanks!
Yang Yi: Someone once gave a vivid analogy: Education isn't boiling tea eggs but pickling salted duck eggs. Scientific educational methods are essential, progressing step by step without rushing.
645620595: My child rarely initiates studying, listens well to the teacher, and completes assigned homework diligently but ignores tasks set by parents. Academically, the child is content with mediocrity, lacking deeper understanding, believing study is done for adults. Each time the child comes home claiming homework is finished, to improve grades, I bought supplementary materials and enrolled the child in tutoring classes. However, the child strongly resists, ignoring parental arrangements and even claims unfinished homework. Tasks previously completed quickly now take much longer. I'm at a loss. How can the child's learning efficiency be improved?
Yang Yi: Learning motivation is the internal drive propelling students to learn, directly influencing their attitude and outcomes. Thus, we must address the reasons for disinterest, implement effective measures to stimulate motivation, and guide students in learning methods, making them willing and joyful learners.
Viewer: Thank you, Principal Yang. The child is indeed Ms. Li's student, and I will contact Ms. Li. I look forward to reporting the child's progress to Principal Yang next time.
Yang Yi: We all look forward to the child's good news!
Qingfeng001: Thank you, Principal Yang, for your guidance. Besides helping the child select reading materials, what else should parents pay attention to?
Yang Yi: The influence of parents through osmosis is enormous. How many of the books at home have you read, and what have you gained from them? Infect the child with your passion and joy for reading, creating a rich family reading atmosphere to influence the child, making it easier for them to settle down and read.
645620595: Can Principal Yang provide some specific guidance, especially what parents can do?
Yang Yi: I suggest parents try the following approaches:
1. Spark the child's interest in learning
Interest is the greatest driver of learning. What a child is willing or unwilling to do is often determined by interest, which is the most basic condition for success. If parents wish to cultivate certain interests in the child, they should provide corresponding environmental stimuli. To sustain these interests, parents must acknowledge the child's successes, as even small praises can ignite immense enthusiasm. Parents should help create a lively and interesting learning environment, transforming dull learning into dynamic, varied, and engaging activities to spark the child's interest. Tell the child stories of famous figures from ancient and modern times, providing role models, or frequently take the child on visits and trips, combining fun with learning.
2. Cultivate stable learning emotions in the child
Parents should enhance the child's understanding of learning, making them realize it's a personal need. Gradual improvements in understanding will help stabilize the child's learning emotions. To foster good learning habits, focus on the following:
(1) Start early. Many habits require early intervention to succeed.
(2) Pay attention to details, such as proper writing and holding pen postures.
(3) Parents should only guide, not take over.
(4) Continuously set requirements, frequently check and urge the child, offering timely encouragement.
(5) Promptly point out and correct any bad learning habits, such as careless homework completion.
3. Cultivate perseverance in the child's learning will
For future achievements, perseverance is a critical guarantee of success. When the child studies, help them set specific goals that are challenging yet achievable. Offer appropriate rewards to encourage and motivate the child to strive for these goals. Failure should not lead to discouragement, and success should not breed arrogance. Cultivate the child's determination not to give up until the goal is reached.
Additionally, parents must lead by example, setting a model for the child. Arrange reasonable times for the child's study, rest, entertainment, and activities. Avoid overloading the child with studies and prevent endless television watching or computer gaming.
Ganbababa: Sometimes the child doesn't do homework but claims they did. Sometimes they trade notebooks for snacks and deny it.
I really don't know what to do.
Yang Yi: For children, they are merely trying to conceal things they don't want parents to know, not as serious as adults might imagine. Suggest paying closer attention to the child's learning situation, offering more effective guidance and help, and less criticism and blame.
Wangwang Dad: The child liked to play small pranks at home when younger, and we didn't take it seriously, even joking about it with friends. We didn't expect that what we once found amusing has caused so much unhappiness for classmates, teachers, and the child themselves at school.
Yang Yi: This is the root cause of these issues. Parents are the child's first teachers, and their educational philosophies and sense of right and wrong directly affect the child's thoughts and behaviors. Because parents found it amusing, the child wouldn't perceive it as negative behavior, eventually forming habits that are hard to break.
98ycjycj: The child does nothing academic on weekends, just playing around everywhere. Now in second grade, learning is average. Is this okay?
Yang Yi: I personally believe playing is also a form of learning. The key is what they play, how they play, and whether they gain something from it (end).