In the middle of the night, I woke up and felt my husband tightly hugging me. I secretly rejoiced! I thought to myself: this guy usually seems pretty cool, but unexpectedly reveals his true colors when sleeping. Thus, I was deeply moved. Just as I was about to enjoy his embrace, I heard him muttering: "Honey! It's so cold!" At that moment, I wanted to kick him off the bed.
One day, while watching TV with my husband, a female actress was dancing ballet. My husband said to me: "Wife, you're also suitable for ballet." I secretly rejoiced! I thought: my husband must think I have a good figure. But I wanted him to praise me more directly, so I held my breath and asked him: "Why do you think I'm suitable for ballet?" My husband seriously and professionally replied: "People who dance ballet can't have too big breasts." I almost fell off my chair.
On a weekend morning, after getting up, I talked to my husband about recent expenses. I felt we often spent money recklessly. This is not good, so we decided to get rid of the habit of spending money carelessly. In the evening, my husband accompanied me to the supermarket. I saw the saqi ma (a type of snack) I like, but didn't know which brand to buy. So I randomly picked one priced at 4 kuai 8 mao. As I was about to reach for it, I heard my husband repeatedly calling out: "4 kuai 6 mao, 4 kuai 6 mao." After hearing it, I couldn't help laughing. It seemed he took our saving plan seriously.
One morning, I was resting, and my husband was going to work. I saw him off at the elevator entrance. The elevator door opened, and I turned around to go home. Suddenly, I heard my husband calling me. Turning around, I saw my husband standing at the elevator entrance, one foot raised to block the elevator door, leaning forward mischievously saying: "Wife, there's no one inside, give me a kiss!" I was both angry and amused!
Once, while combing my hair in front of the mirror, I said to my husband: "If my husband comes home every day after work to cook and wash clothes, and I don't have to do anything, just go to work, wouldn't that be great?" My husband walked over to me, shaking me, saying: "Wife, wake up, wake up, it's not early anymore." I was completely defeated by my husband.
My husband and I like to watch movies together. However, whenever it's time to change the disc, it's painful, especially in winter, we don't want to get out of bed. So every time the picture stops, I immediately turn my head and pretend to sleep, snoring. Seeing this, my husband has no choice but to get out of bed to change the disc. Once the disc is loaded, I immediately wake up, pretending to be half-asleep, saying: "What happened? What happened? Need to change the disc? Let me do it, let me do it." My husband says I'm too naughty.
A few days later, I had forgotten about this incident. When it was time to change the disc, I was about to call him, but he had already turned his head and pretended to sleep. Naturally, I did the same thing, making me laugh uncontrollably.
After washing the dishes, I also scrubbed the stainless steel pot very hard, finally making it brighter than when it was new. I was quite proud! My husband was drying clothes on the stool on the balcony. I excitedly held up the pot for him to see. He tilted his head left and right carefully examining it, but didn't compliment me. Just as I was about to ask him, he casually smoothed his hair, "Hmm, this young man is still handsome..."
At first, my wife said she couldn't cook. I said, "No way, I can." As a result, now I do! Ha ha.
When he came to pick me up after work, I shouted that I wanted to buy bananas. We arrived and found two girls from the company also buying them. I knew them well, but he didn't. I called out to them: "Great! I don't need to buy them, right?" The girl generously handed me a bag of bananas: "Take as many as you want!" I only took one, and the girl said: "Take more! Why are you being so polite?" He followed by saying: "Take two!" A colleague hesitated and quickly agreed: "Take more! Take more!" He said no, two were enough. Then he handed me the bag and gave the two bananas to the colleague, earnestly saying: "Thank you!"
The next day, everyone burst into laughter at work...
My husband likes to hide in the house and let me find him, but the house is too small, so I easily find him every time. One night before sleeping, he went to turn off the light (the switch is a certain distance from the bed). After turning it off, I saw him quickly squat down. Although I could see clearly (my night vision is excellent), I remained silent. I watched him squat for a while, then crawl towards the bed. I held back my laughter, waiting for him to carefully and laboriously crawl to the edge of the bed, sticking his head out. I suddenly pounced on him, scaring him! Ha ha, I laughed wildly!
In my husband's eyes, I am a famous nearsighted person with low IQ. However, sometimes, he falls for my tricks. The other day, on a bustling street, we got separated, but I quickly spotted him, seeing him anxiously looking behind him. I walked up behind him and loudly called his name. He suddenly turned around, and I acted as if I hadn't seen him, shouting again, pretending to be very scared and anxious. He happily laughed and hugged me, saying, "Oh, silly!" Oh, so sweet!
I remembered another one: last night after dinner, while walking in the yard with my husband, we suddenly saw a cockroach on the road. I shouted, "Husband, step on it, step on it, kill it!" Then I also stepped forward to prepare to step on it. My husband said, "Ah, it's Xiaqiang, let it go." Making me feel like I was very cruel, lacking compassion.
My husband takes the bus home, and the road is jammed. He sent me a text message telling me to take a detour home.
I replied to him, saying, "If you're stuck in traffic, just take a nap on the bus."
He replied, "No! If I dream of you, it would be scary!"
One day, while watching a sports game on TV and seeing the Chinese team lose again, I confidently said: "In the future, I will make my child practice sports to bring glory to the country!!" My husband looked up from his book and glanced at me, saying: "Then let him practice weightlifting, judging by his mother's build, he can do it!"
Wuwuwu...
One day, while discussing the dumb topic that everyone discusses, "Next life, be a man or a woman," I thought for a long time and said, "In my next life, I want to be a man, and let you be a woman to serve me!" My husband turned and looked at me and said, "You said the same thing in your past life"...
Yesterday, my husband and I were fighting rats at home. My husband was very brave and stepped on the rat to death. I praised his bravery, but he said sadly, "I remembered the 'Shuke and Beta' I watched when I was a kid, it made me feel so sad!"
The first time I cooked for my husband, my skills were really not good. The food I made didn't even come close to being tasty. My husband was so cute, eating while consoling me, saying, "Wife, it's okay, providing me with basic sustenance is fine, I don't require much."