At a gathering, a foreign man said that Chinese girls are the most open and brave girls he has ever met in the world. We always think of ourselves as reserved, shy, and modest. So how did we suddenly become "the most open girls in the world"?
"If someone wants to make friends, I wouldn't come to a bar to look for them" — Robert, 24 years old, American.
I've been in China for two years now.
I've discovered that girls in Nanjing are more modern and open than many Chinese-American girls in the US.
It's difficult for me to relate to modern girls who have traditional personalities. I especially admire university graduates with a few years of work experience because they are independent and smart. Elementary school graduates often have simple minds, just like high school girls in America.
What surprises me is that foreign girls don't overly focus on a man's appearance but instead value their abilities. Therefore, on the street, you often see couples with large age differences walking together because capable men generally aren't too young. In the US, such mismatched couples would be mocked by others. We don't want to be anyone's "daddy" or "sugar baby."
I've met many particularly open Chinese girls. They like to meet foreigners. In bars, they will initiate conversations with me, and when I buy them a drink, they give me their phone numbers. This is unimaginable in the US. If I were to ask a girl for her phone number right away, I would definitely get slapped.
I feel these Chinese girls are very naive because they think foreign men can't see through their intentions. Actually, the foreign men who interact with them are also using their intentions to reach their own goals. If I wanted to seriously date a Chinese girlfriend, I would ask colleagues or friends to introduce us rather than go to a bar.
Are Chinese girls really like what these foreigners say?
Are foreign men just walking wallets? — Dietz, 26 years old, German, interning at a large engineering company in Germany's Chinese subsidiary.
After coming to China, I knew almost nothing about it. But I love Zhang Yimou's movies. I find Gong Li exceptionally beautiful, and my previous impression of Chinese girls was based on her.
Reality and imagination always have some differences. Now, I can categorize Chinese girls into several types:
Traditional type: These girls are usually gentle and introverted, with strong reservations towards men, especially Western men. If you compliment their clothing, they blush and walk away. It's very difficult to invite them to dinner or to a bar.
Cultural hybrid type: These girls are outgoing and enjoy socializing. Aside from their skin color, they are not much different from Western girls. They quickly accept our invitations to dance, travel, and may argue over trivial matters. Many of the Chinese female colleagues around me belong to this type.
Overly materialistic type: I didn't expect to encounter so many overly materialistic girls in China. Unlike the cultural hybrid type, these girls are very proactive. After going out with you two or three times, they might suggest becoming your girlfriend, even talking about early marriage. Some have other goals, such as getting them visas to study abroad or helping them find accommodation. They view men as walking wallets. I dislike such girls very much, and I believe no man would like them.
I know some Western women exploit the psychology of Chinese girls in an unrestrained way, and we dislike such behavior as well. So I hope Chinese girls can have more self-protection awareness and not blindly trust others.
Materialistic girls are the most cunning and the most foolish — Bjørn, 31 years old, Norwegian, Beijing representative of a European electrical group.
I've been working in China for five years.
I think China is a country with extremely fierce competition. College graduates immediately face immense financial pressure. In Norway, it's not like this. People are quite relaxed because our country's social security system is too perfect, so everyone becomes lazy.
I like hardworking people, so I prefer environments like China where opportunities are created for young people to rise.
Chinese girls, like boys, have a very strong desire to earn money. I once dated two Chinese girlfriends who were my former colleagues. They worked very hard, often working overtime like me and diligently preparing for exams to study in Europe. There is a kind of resilience within them that I truly admire.
If I were to talk about any flaws in Chinese girls, I think a small minority among them lack depth and richness in knowledge. Conversations with them reveal that they "are a bit naive." Many exceptionally beautiful Chinese girls have empty minds and are quite content with that.
European men prefer intelligent, interesting, and unique girls. When these qualities come together, even if a girl isn't conventionally attractive, she can still be very charming.
Speaking of those overly materialistic girls, I've encountered them in many Asian countries. On the surface, they seem clever, but I think they're actually very naive. They think Western men like open women, so they try to appear especially open to win their favor and achieve their goals. But how many of them actually achieve their goals?
"For those who hate me and those I hate, for personal dignity and freedom, for the tears beneath a woman's lips and a child's true smile, for the flowers blooming in spring, to protect these cherished and loved beautiful things from being trampled — no matter what, my words may be clumsy in expressing meaning, but I firmly believe that there are some things in this world worth defending with my life."