It's really hard to talk about, even though my husband and I are both not yet in our thirties, the quality of our sex life has been deteriorating, feeling a bit like an "old married couple." A few times, my husband inadvertently mentioned that my "there" seems to have become looser, which made me very disheartened. Ever since we had our daughter, I've felt that my internal structure has changed, and his words made me feel even more "ashamed," vaginal laxity - this embarrassing privacy issue began to trouble me. Compared to the external changes in appearance with time, this internal, unspoken pain makes me feel even more distressed.
Because it seems neither my husband nor I fully enjoy sex anymore, the number of times I reach climax can almost be counted as zero. Our child is two years old now, and I've already had an intrauterine device inserted, so theoretically, there should be no worries at all. But what troubles me is that during intercourse, I often hear "puffing" sounds from below, like the sound of friction on a wet glass surface, which is extremely embarrassing.
Every night, when my husband's hand reaches into the quilt, it’s clearly expressing a desire for physical intimacy. Any slight movement on my part would be interpreted as a response. But after much inner conflict, I hold my breath, stay still, and pretend to be asleep until my husband withdraws his hand. It's not because I’ve lost interest in sex; it's because I’m afraid of hearing those embarrassing sounds again and seeing my husband's disappointment. I remember our first time together. Back then, I endured severe pain because my vagina was too tight, but today, I'm worried because it's too loose.
I pretend everything is fine, but inside, I'm devastated. Women often worry about losing their charm in front of their husbands, and thus losing love. I really don't know how long this disharmony will last. The child and responsibility may bind him, affection and love may move him, but how long can sexual disharmony sustain him? Perhaps, over time, I'll see a cold face on my husband; perhaps soon, he’ll give me a divorce application. Everything could happen, as many stories around me involve couples divorcing due to sexual disharmony.
Therefore, I started looking for effective remedies, wanting to find the best way to restore my previous sexual appeal within the shortest time possible. I even followed a magazine’s suggestion, doing pelvic floor exercises when my husband wasn’t home. The magazine said these exercises could strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, thereby enhancing the contraction force of the vagina, but for me, the results were not very noticeable.
After much deliberation, I decided to undergo a vaginoplasty. I collected a large amount of information about vaginoplasty online, knowing that it’s already a common procedure abroad, especially for postpartum women. However, in our country, people generally don’t even know this is a “condition,” so very few people opt for the surgery.
I decided to be a "pioneer." Like a secret agent, I secretly visited several hospitals' gynecology and plastic surgery departments. Unlike consulting publicly about double eyelid surgery or rhinoplasty, undergoing vaginoplasty is even harder to discuss openly. At each place, I patiently waited until there were no other patients before cautiously explaining my wishes to the doctor.
But the doctors remained quite calm. Each one told me that my shyness and tension were unnecessary. In recent years, with the revival of female sexual awareness and changing sexual values, many women have shifted from being passively negative to actively positive. To increase their own sexual appeal and gain personal satisfaction, many women are willing to reshape themselves.
Still, I hesitated somewhat, as I read some failed cases of vaginoplasty online. I knew that if the surgical technique isn't proficient, it could injure surrounding tissues, causing complications such as bleeding or fistulas. After about two months of hesitation, I decided to take the risk. I chose Linyi Hospital of Integrated Traditional Chinese and Western Medicine and scheduled the surgery. I selected a time for the surgery when my husband was out of town on business. I didn't want him to know about this, as a woman's inner world always contains many secrets of her own, even if she lives closely with her husband. It's difficult to completely open up, especially on the serious topic of sex.
I checked into the hospital. For the first three days, the doctor conducted a series of preoperative preparations: checking my blood coagulation status, cleaning my vagina, applying medication, performing enemas, and preparing the skin. Three days later, I went onto the operating table on an empty stomach. After thoroughly disinfecting the surgical area, the doctor incised my vaginal opening. The surgery was performed under local anesthesia. Lying on the operating table, I was a little scared and felt some pain, but deep down, I was filled with joy. I thought, compared to the happiness after the surgery, this little pain doesn't matter at all. I imagined the beauty of my future sex life. The entire operation took only 40 minutes.
After the surgery, the doctor told me that while tightening the vaginal opening, they also improved the shape of the outer vagina, making it more beautiful. She said to me, "Believe me, when you resume your sex life, you'll feel a 'tight grip.'"
A week later, I was discharged from the hospital.
More than a month later, my husband returned, right on schedule for my "plan." He embraced me in bed, and in the passion, I faintly felt myself involuntarily trembling. Most importantly, that embarrassing sound was gone! My husband showed excitement like never before, and I felt like I'd taken the first step toward success.
It feels like after enduring a winter, flowers suddenly burst into bloom overnight.
Warm Reminder: If you need to learn more related information, please call the hotline of Linyi Hospital of Integrated Traditional Chinese and Western Medicine at 0539-2909999, or click on online consultation. Our doctors will provide you with real-time online consultation and answers.