The chairman asked the new general manager: "Everyone doesn't listen carefully during meetings, what can we do?" The general manager replied: "This is easy to solve. Just don't let the secretary attend the meeting, and after the meeting, announce who will be responsible for taking the minutes."
In a telecom recruitment exam, the examiner asked: "Can you dedicate more of yourself to the company?" The applicant replied: "No." The examiner said: "I'm sorry..." The applicant continued: "But I can make consumers contribute more." The examiner said: "Alright, you're hired."
A rude man rushed into the bank and told the counter lady: "I want to open a f***ing account!" The counter lady replied: "No problem, sir, but you don't need to use that tone!" The rude man said: "Can you hurry up? Quickly help me set up this damn account, I'm in a rush!" The counter lady said: "Sir, I am not used to being spoken to like that!" The rude man said: "Don't waste my time, quickly help me open a f***ing account, alright?" The counter lady said: "Sorry, sir, I think I should call our manager!" Then the counter lady went to complain to the manager. After a while, the manager consoled the lady and then came out to reason with the rude man: "It seems there's some trouble here, can you tell me what happened?" The rude man said: "I just want to open a f***ing account to deposit my f***ing one billion lottery winnings, alright?" The bank manager immediately pointed at the counter lady and said: "On behalf of this b****, I apologize to you!"
Two cannibals were hired by a company. Knowing that these two ate people every day, the personnel supervisor warned them: "If you dare to eat a person in the company, you will be fired immediately!" The two cannibals reluctantly agreed, indicating they would never eat people in the company. Two months passed, and the company was peaceful. Suddenly one day, the janitor responsible for cleaning the company disappeared. The personnel supervisor was very angry, found the two cannibals, scolded them, and fired them on the spot. After leaving the company gate, one cannibal immediately complained to the other: "I've been warning you not to eat people who are working! We've been eating a manager every day for two months, and no one noticed. Look now, because we ate the janitor, they immediately found out! You're such an idiot!!!"
A company manager asked the secretary to forward a document to the boss: "Report to the boss, next month there will be a batch of orders from Europe, I think the company needs to send someone to meet with them." The boss briefly signed behind the document: "Go ahead" The manager received it and immediately instructed subordinates to buy tickets, plan the itinerary, and started packing. On the day of departure, he was stopped by the secretary: "What are you doing?" The manager: "Going to Europe for a meeting!" The secretary: "Did the boss agree?" The manager: "Didn't the boss say Go ahead?" The secretary: "Have you been in the company for so long and still don't know the boss's English level? The boss meant: Go to hell!"
Xiao Wang always slacks off at work, looking listless. One day, the manager called him to the office and said: "I don't know your marital status, but I have only one suggestion for you: if you are single, please get married as soon as possible; if you are already married, please get divorced as soon as possible!"
On the first day of work, a newly employed young man at a shopping mall was greeted warmly by the store manager, who handed him a broom and told him his first task was to clean up the environment. The young man got angry and said: "I'm a college graduate!" Then the store manager said: "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were a college graduate. Please give me the broom, let me teach you how to sweep!"
Peter told his friend that he had just lost his job. "Why did the foreman fire you?" his friend asked in surprise. "Oh," Peter said, "you know what kind of person the foreman is. They always keep their hands in their pockets and stand around watching others work." "We know that," his friend replied. "But why did he let you go?" "Jealousy!" Peter answered, "All the other workers thought I was the foreman."
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"Do you need a typist?" Olsen asked. "No," the personnel director said, while checking the job registry, "we already have plenty of typists." "How about someone to manage files?" Olsen asked again. "I'm sorry, young man. We have more than enough file managers here." Olsen felt very disappointed and turned to leave, muttering: "Ah, I'm such a fool. ..." The personnel director heard this, suddenly stood up, and shouted: "Wait, we need two people like you said."
Miss Feng was hospitalized due to a serious illness, and her colleagues from the company visited her together. "During my leave, I must have tired out the substitute, I'm really sorry," she said apologetically. A male colleague replied: "It's okay, everyone shared your work. I read the newspapers, Miss Zhang made phone calls chatting, and Miss Li flirted with the general manager..."