The most innocent humor in the world

by luokuang on 2009-02-27 08:28:52

Kindergarten No.1

Question 1: If one day there's no water in the sea, what will happen to the fish?

Child A: The fish can go to the river. (After thinking for a while) Oh, wait, what about the whales? They're too big to fit in. (How considerate)

Child B: They'll turn into fossils. (The fish must be spitting blood...)

Question 2: Where does milk come from?

Child A: There are a few mouths under the cow's belly, and it flows out from there. (Are you really sure those are mouths?)

Further question: So where does coconut milk come from?

Child B: It’s goat milk. (Too far-fetched, buddy.)

Keep asking: What is goat milk then?

Child B: Goat milk is just yogurt, we don't drink it at home, we order Bright Milk instead. (What a scary logic)

Question 3: What are children's faces used for?

Child A: For mommies to kiss.

Follow-up question: Will daddy also get to kiss?

Child A: Daddy can kiss too.

Further follow-up: Whose kisses is your face reserved for?

Child A: For mommy to kiss. (Daddy is tearing up)

Child B: For sticking paper on. (Is your face a bulletin board?)

Question 4: Why do babies come out of mommies' tummies and not daddies'?

Child A: Girls come out of mommies' tummies, boys come out of daddies'. (Good at bluffing)

Boy B: Because boys are cuter! (Girls all shout: Boys aren't cute!)

Question 5: What are children's hair used for?

Girl A: To comb.

Ask boy B: Since your hair can't be braided, what's it used for?

Child B: For barbers to shave. (Precious spirit of dedication)

Kindergarten No.2

Question 1: Why do people only have two legs?

Child A: Because we're not animals. (Are ducks four-legged?)

Child B: People can't grow four legs. (It's God's arrangement, ultimate)

Child C: (Laughing) Growing four legs would lead to fighting.

Follow-up question: But dogs with four legs run very fast?

Child C: (Staring blankly)...(All the children scream: I can run faster than a dog!)

Question 2: How can a fat person become thin immediately?

Child A: Eat diet cookies. (Still smart)

Follow-up question: Eating diet cookies won't make you instantly thin, how can you become thin right away?

Child A: Then don't eat diet cookies. (Are you fooling me?)

Question 3: How can a thin person become fat immediately?

Child A: Drink milk. (Milk isn't pig feed)

Child B: Eat a lot of rice and you can be a police officer. (Are all police officers fat?)

Question 4: Why do balloons fly up into the sky?

Child A: Because they have air. (Without air, can it still be called a balloon?)

Follow-up question: Why can't some balloons fly up?

Child A: Because there's not enough air inside. (Really good at making things up)

Kindergarten No.3

Question 1: Which animal has two legs, and when the sun rises in the morning, it calls you to wake up?

Child A: Chicken, rooster. (Another child shouts: Father chicken)

Curiously ask: What's father chicken?

Child: Mother chicken is mother chicken, rooster is father chicken. (Suddenly understand...)

Child B: Mommy.

Child C: Sun. (Sweat... the sun isn't an animal)

Continue asking: Does the sun have feet?

Child C: The sun has five feet. (Another child argues: Seven, because the rainbow has seven colors)

Question 2: What is "seven mouths eight tongues"?

Child A: It's seven mouths, eight tongues, talking chaotically. (Makes sense) And adds: We're now "seven mouths eight tongues". (Still self-aware)

Child B: Sprout many tongues. (Scary...)

Question 3: How to tell the difference between boys and girls?

Child A: Look at the hair, long hair is girl, short hair is boy. (A short-haired girl nearby bursts into tears...)

Child B: Peek at their urination, standing is boy, squatting is girl. (Sexual already at this age...)

Child C: See what socks they wear, red is girl, blue is boy. (So innocent...)

Child D: Look at their eyes. (Very elusive...)

Question 4: What happens if you throw a stone into a fish pond?

Child A: The water turns into waves. (...)

Child B: Fish will float up. (Fishermen will be happy...)

Child C: Fine five yuan. (Sweat...)

Kindergarten No.4

Question 1: Why is Tangshan called Tangshan?

Child A: Because it's a mountain for drinking soup. (Truly interpreting literally...)

Child B: Tangshan is a hot spring, a place for bathing. (Answering irrelevantly...)

Child C: It's hot below, so it's called Tangshan. (Sweat... originally it was Hot Mountain...)

Child D: Who is Tangshan? (...)

Question 2: An old man lost a horse, do you think the horse will come back?

Child A: No, because the horse is playing on the road. (Playful horse...)

Child B: No, the horse can't read the growth rings. (Never seen a horse needing to read growth rings to walk...)

Child C: No, the horse went to marry another horse. (What a romantic child...)

Child D: No, the old man wasn't nice to the horse, so the horse went to find a new owner. (Reality is cruel, even horses need to switch jobs...)

Question 3: Why do the nurses who distribute medicine wear masks?

Child A: Because the hospital director is afraid they'll steal and eat the medicine. (Is the medicine tasty?)

Immediately a child interrupts: Do the surgeons wearing masks fear having banquets? (Dizzy...)

Child B: Because they need to keep hygiene, afraid saliva will drip down. (Wearing a mask is originally to prevent saliva from dripping down...)

Kindergarten No.5

Question 1: What's the difference between Coca-Cola and Pepsi?

Child A: Their names are different. (Even Martians know this)

Child B: Coca-Cola cans are red, Pepsi is blue. (I know you're not colorblind, be good)

Child C: Pepsi has Jay Chou, Coca-Cola has vanilla flavor.

Child D: Coca-Cola is sour, after drinking your nose will exhale gas! (Exhaling gas shows that it's a dedicated Coca-Cola)

Question 2: Why does the subway run underground?

Child A: Because the subway has the word "earth", so it runs underground. (I guessed someone would answer like this)

Child B: The subway doesn't have wheels, so it can't run on the ground. (Does it have wheels? No, right?)

Question 3: In the world, which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Child A: The egg came first.

Ask: If there's no chicken, where does the egg come from?

Child A: ...

Child B: First there was a hen, then she laid an egg.

Child C: There are a total of 30 eggs!

Surprise: What??? 30 eggs, did I hear wrong?

Child C: Because there are two old hens, each laid 15 eggs, so there are 30! (Kid, you're amazing)

Question 4: What festival is April 1st?

Child A: Mother's Day.

Child B: Women's Day.

Reminder: Women's Day is on March 8th.

Child B: Then it must be Tree Planting Day!

Can't help but ask: When is April Fool's Day?

Child C: It's January 8th! (This...)

Child D: I know, April 1st is the drivers' festival! (How did you come up with that, curious indeed)

Question 5: How can one become prettier?

Child A: Stick cucumbers, my mom sticks them every day at home.

Child B: Stick papayas, my aunt always sticks them.

Child C: Stick eggs! (That's quite difficult)

Child D: Stick potatoes, my grandma once stuck them on my hands.

Boy E: I once stuck mango peels! (Was that just you messing around?)

Summary: One is more magical than the other, DIY is indeed popular. More wonders at: http://www.xiaoshiyiluokuang.com