Reflections on the Differences Between Eastern and Western Cultures in a Diary of Pregnancy Abroad
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Date: January 17, 2011, 6:56 PM
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Introduction: Time flies, another year has passed. It's been more than half a year since I came to Germany. During this time, I have been constantly learning and adapting. In other people's eyes, I am an extremely adaptable person. Now that I'm pregnant, the doctor here doesn't allow me to take any supplements. However, in Beijing, doctors advised pregnant women to take calcium supplements. Here, they don't allow it, saying that the baby will be born with too large a head, making delivery difficult. This is a new concept, but it was also the case 20 years ago. My son in China took cod liver oil and calcium. He had to start taking them 15 days after birth, but when we came to Germany, everything stopped. When I asked the doctor, she only prescribed vitamin D during this month's check-up, one dose per day. No other supplements were given, as they believe in natural growth. Moreover, my son is considered tall among German children. I often argue with my husband about seeing the doctor. They don't have to pay for medical treatment, and the welfare system in developed countries is good, but the cost of living is high. You need to make an appointment to see a doctor, sometimes even two weeks in advance. If there's an emergency, you still have to call and make an appointment, and only if the other party agrees can you go. When you get there, 80% of the time, the doctor's response is to rest at home and observe, which leaves no solution. This kind of response makes me angry. I ask my husband, "In Germany and the United States, medicine is said to be so advanced, yet when children are sick, they don't give any medication." In China, even a slight discomfort would result in the doctor prescribing some medicine, like Banlangen, just to reassure the parents. But here, we leave empty-handed. Why should I bother seeing a doctor? My husband replies that if a drug cannot be given, then it simply cannot be given. Germans have rigid thoughts, and doctors strictly control what pregnant women should take, such as calcium supplements. Many prescription drugs available freely in China cannot be purchased in Germany without a doctor's signature, and doctors only prescribe them when they consider it absolutely necessary. At the time, I was very angry, thinking they didn't care about us. Now, looking back, my son is in great health and has strong resistance; he doesn't need any medication. Perhaps their way of thinking, which I disliked, is actually correct. It's just that I can't accept it in this aspect, and I do worry. After all, these are the cultural norms accepted by us Chinese, and now everything has changed.
Another secret to my independence and success: if people who knew me before think I am independent, then let me tell you, the real independent me is now. After two and a half years of marriage, it is only in the past six months that I have entered the kitchen and learned to cook dishes that my family loves. Friends of my age who are unmarried probably still can't cook. Let me tell you, this is all due to changes in the environment. In this country, they think that Chinese people raise princes and princesses, which is something acknowledged worldwide, and this makes me angry. Honestly, the post-80s generation in China has lived quite comfortably, not knowing how to cook, wash clothes, or clean being normal. But when you go abroad and compare yourself to girls who, at 16, could already attend school, save money to buy second-hand cars, rent houses with boyfriends, clean and cook themselves without asking their families for a penny, you can't help but admire their independence. Everyone worries that I am working too hard taking care of my family while being pregnant and having a child over a year old. In China, three nannies watch one child, but this is only true in China. Outside of China, whether in Europe or in the U.S., women watch three or even five children alone, work, and take care of the house. On this point, I have always been unwilling to lose to European women. Their independence really makes me feel that our post-80s generation in China is too weak. As women, they are so strong, arranging their lives richly and orderly. Therefore, in this country, being pregnant and having a child over a year old is not something my mother-in-law should worry about or my mother should help with; it is the most normal life for every family. Sisters in China, don't be surprised. You will also find it normal when everyone around you does the same. And the fact is that they are truly more independent than us. This is probably because we are the only child, but if there were two children, it wouldn't be the case.
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