In ancient societies, not only could emperors have harems of three thousand beauties, but households with even modest wealth generally had multiple wives and concubines. In a family with so many women and only one man, how were sexual relations arranged?
We won't elaborate much on the various sexual management systems of ancient emperors. As An Yiru said, "The palace is a splendid brothel, and the emperor is the biggest patron." Being such a patron was not easy; everyone knows the various constraints the emperor faced in his sex life. But aside from the emperor, how did ordinary people in ancient times arrange their sex lives? The *Book of Rites - Internal Rules* records: "Therefore, even if a concubine is old and has not reached fifty years of age, she must be attended to every five days. Those who are about to be attended should cleanse themselves, wash carefully, comb their hair, wear neat clothes, pin up their hair, brush their bangs, tie their sashes, and wear proper shoes." Wow, the order and frequency of sexual relations with wives and concubines were actually regulated. It seems that polygamy was never a good thing—it's exhausting and troublesome. Moreover, in ancient times, men were expected to continue fulfilling their sexual obligations until after the age of sixty.
In Volume 2 of *Secret Play Picture Examination*, there is a narration of a fragmentary Ming Dynasty family instruction manual, which also provides insight into how ancients arranged their sex lives, such as:
(1) (Four characters missing, possibly 'daily labor of wife and concubine') Supervising rice details, wearing jewelry and makeup, enjoying music and games. Beyond these pleasures, there is only the joy of sexual relations. Therefore, wise masters in the world make sure to understand this principle, and when they attend to their wives and concubines, they wait until both parties are satisfied...
(2) There is someone on the east side of the street, young and strong, yet his wife and concubine fight incessantly at dawn and dusk. On the west side of the street, there is an elderly stooped man whose wife and concubine serve him wholeheartedly. Why? Because he understands the subtleties of sexual matters, while the other does not.
(3) Recently, I heard of an official who took a new concubine, locked himself away for three days without coming out, causing strife between his wife and concubine—this is wrong. It would be better to moderate desires, temporarily leave the new and return to the old, and each time attend to the wife or concubine, allowing the new concubine to stand by the bed. After five or six days like this, then attend to the new concubine. Let servant girls stand by, this is the beginning of harmony within the boudoir.
(4) People cannot be without fault, let alone servant girls and concubines! If there is a fault, it must be corrected through teaching. If uncorrected, punishment must be administered, but with measure and count. Lying down and waving the hand, five or six lashes on the buttocks, not exceeding the lower back, and not going above the tailbone. Occasionally, some may punish concubines by stripping and binding them to a pillar, whipping and beating them until flesh rots and blood flows. This harms both parties and turns the boudoir into a prison, something to be very cautious about.
Ancient China placed great importance on sexual relations between men and women, viewing sex as equally important as food, and even regarded it as a way to resolve family disputes. Therefore, in polygamous families, balancing sexual relationships was extremely important, leading to regulations on sex becoming part of family instructions.
In ancient times, where the status of wives and concubines was vastly different, concubines had only one right equal to that of wives: sexual relations. Many people in ancient times sought concubines not only for their beauty but also for their crucial role in reproduction. If the relationship between husband and wife can be considered kinship, then the concubine was merely a reproductive tool for the family. The *Book of Rites* states: "A concubine is bought because she is cheap and treated as public property." Despite sharing the same bed and bearing children for the husband, the identity of a concubine was merely that of a purchased item. Although they enjoyed the same sexual rights as wives, and sometimes even better treatment, their status remained low. For example, there were ancient rules stating that if the wife was absent, the concubine could not spend the entire night with the husband and had to leave immediately after sexual intercourse.
Polygamy largely reflects the phenomenon of male dominance, oppression, and manipulation of women in patriarchal societies, allowing men to satisfy their own sexual desires and need for more offspring, while women remained passive in sexual matters.