"Humorous with tears after the disaster", it turns out that people from Sichuan are very funny - Original comments from the grassroots' blog

by benjychu on 2008-05-29 20:29:34

After the Wenchuan earthquake, it is estimated that many people's mobile phones received such a "joke": A survivor of the Wenchuan earthquake was rescued by the Russian rescue team. When a reporter asked him how he felt, the survivor thought for a while and said, "Damn, the earthquake was so fierce! I was dug out and saw foreigners, thinking that I had been shaken abroad."

Although it is a "joke", although it is a performance, the humor and magnanimity contained in it make us admire and feel relieved with its "tearful humor".

After all, after experiencing the mental pain of losing home and family, in the heavy oppression of national mourning, this "humor with tears" from the ruins brings some ease and comfort to the long-lasting sadness, and undoubtedly tells us that the Chinese who have gone through countless disasters will stand firmly in front of the world, determined to trudge forward optimistically.

No disaster can make us cry forever. What to do after tears dry and hearts break? We need to transform our grief into determination and rebuild our homes with confidence. Be a little more humorous, let our exhausted hearts get temporary relief, let our overly gloomy moods be released, let our overly tense nerves relax and be at ease, "A big belly can hold what others can't," optimism can add life confidence and hope for those who are alive.

Humor shows a kind of composure, making people approach life and return to life, and also indicates people's "not giving up, not abandoning". After the earthquake occurred, Jiang Lao Han's family in Dujiangyan, aged 51, set up the table, ate some peanuts and pickles, and played cards for a while. Jiang Lao Han said: "Worrying all day, don't live life, impossible! So, relax, relax..." On the road beside the highway where rescue vehicles were flowing continuously, there was a group of people bending down to plant rice seedlings in a paddy field destroyed by the earthquake - "Xiaoman is the season for planting rice seedlings, missing it will delay a year. No matter how big the disaster is, the land must be planted..."

Premier Wen stood on the ruins and told people, "Our compatriots have stood up from their grief. The people in the disaster areas have also begun to help themselves in production. Come back in three months, the resettlement work here will be better; come back in three years, a new Wenchuan will rise." Reconstruction has already begun, confidence is recovering. While establishing the determination and confidence to rebuild homes, let us restore the humor we once lost in the pain, restore our enthusiasm for life and spiritual strength, and build our homes more beautifully!

Attached: Humorous jokes popular in Chengdu after the earthquake

1. Four grandmothers were playing mahjong. Suddenly, they found the table shaking. Without saying a word, the grandmothers went to find some cardboard and padded it under the table. Then they sat down and continued to play! #￥※◎#￥! They must be some of the toughest old ladies in China.

2. A doctor was about to give an injection to a middle-aged male patient lying in bed when the earthquake suddenly happened. The doctor said, "Oh my, even adults are afraid of injections, shaking like that!"

3. On the 12th day, I was at the sales department when I noticed the computer shaking. "Damn, the roller is coming again, tell him to drive slower!" ... "Don't care!!!!!!!!!!!" When I went outside, I saw a lot of people, then I realized it was an earthquake!

4. It was said that on the 12th day, a class at Sichuan University was having a lesson when the earthquake happened. Students started running out. The old professor shouted: Don't panic, everyone sit down, I'll call roll, one person goes out after being called... Sweat...!

5. A friend said his dog was still sleeping during the earthquake, showing no signs of intelligence! So, the next day, he beat his dog hard.

6. Today, I heard a colleague talk about how strong the Japanese language foreign teacher was. Isn't Japan often hit by earthquakes? He has become accustomed to them. At the beginning of the May 12 earthquake, he calmly told the students to hide under the desks. After a while, when the shaking stopped, the students crawled out from under the desks, and he continued teaching. Then all the teachers and students gathered on the playground. When the school leaders counted the people: Oh no! Where are the Japanese language class people? Quickly send someone to look for them. When they found the classroom, their class was still continuing with the Japanese language lesson...

7. An old man from Beichuan was rescued from the ruins by the Russian rescue team. Upon seeing the surrounding foreigners with blonde hair and blue eyes, the old man said, "Damn, the earthquake was so fierce, it shook me to a foreign country!"

8. I have never experienced an earthquake before. On May 12, I was just about to pay my phone bill. When I got to the door of the telecommunications business hall in Tianfu Square, I saw a crowd of people rushing out, thinking, oh no, someone is robbing the business hall.

9. During the earthquake, a colleague's friend was squatting on the toilet. He kept thinking: How bad has my health been lately, my legs are shaking while squatting...

10. One of our unit's senior engineers ran from the 13th floor to the 11th floor when the earthquake came, then suddenly said, "Damn, I didn't turn off the computer!" So he returned to the 13th floor, turned off the computer, and then ran down! Later, this deed was praised by the company president, admiration!

11. Let me tell you about my friend's dad. His house is on the 6th floor. On the day of the earthquake, the old man was just by the window. When the quake hit, the water tower opposite his house swung like a hula hoop. The old man watched for a while and shouted: "Old lady, quick quick~ come and see, the water tower is swinging in a circle..." By this time, the auntie was already too weak to stand.

12. A Chengdu girl and her friends went out. When they reached the barbecue stall, she said, "Let's eat some barbecue first, otherwise if we get buried, how would we last over 100 hours?"

13. On the 12th day, one of my aunts was playing mahjong. She suddenly noticed the table shaking and immediately shouted, "Stop playing, run fast, the table is shaking!" But another aunt said, "Don't panic, let's play one more round!"

14. When the earthquake came, downstairs there was someone carrying a 29-inch flat-screen color TV and running, probably exhausted.

15. A person was buried for over 50 hours and was still conscious when rescued. Reporters went to interview him, and he saw the reporter carrying a notebook, forgetting his pain, and asked the reporter, "Can your notebook connect to the internet?" The reporter replied yes, and he said, "Then check if the stock market has risen for me."

16. An old woman walked around in front of the volunteers for a long time, looking like she wanted to say something but held back.

Volunteer: Is there anything Grandma needs help with?

Old Woman: No no, it's too much trouble for you!

Volunteer: It's fine, just tell us if there's anything

Old Woman: Ah, I'm really embarrassed...

After hesitating for a long time,

Old Woman: I want to drink some water.

17. An African black boy was traveling in Chengdu and stayed in a hotel when the earthquake happened, causing the hotel to catch fire. The black boy quickly ran to an open space. The firefighters were amazed and said, "Damn, I've never seen anyone burned who could run so fast..."

18. During the May 12 earthquake, I was testing a new car my friend just bought. Just as I turned on the air conditioner, the car started shaking. My friend said, "Wow, the quality of this car is too poor. Turning on the air conditioner makes the whole car shake. I'll go back and ask for a refund." Just as he finished speaking, he saw a large crowd of people running out shouting, "Earthquake!" That's when he realized it was actually an earthquake.

19. One of my friends is very powerful.

He does business in Chengdu.

The night after the earthquake... I went online and saw him on QQ.

I asked: Damn, why don't you run?

He said: Run my ass... All the people in our neighborhood have run away... Now I'm the only one in the entire neighborhood, with 100M bandwidth... It's a good time to download porn...

20. One of my colleagues' QQ signature: "Strongly condemn the Indian plate"

21. On the night of the aftershock notice, a friend sent a message: "Come out to take refuge?"

The husband, who was sleeping, replied: "Just sleep at home. If there's an earthquake, remember to rescue me!"

21-1. Let me tell you a true story: Several elderly people were playing cards together. One old man just won a clear hand when the earthquake came, and several people threw away their mahjong tiles and ran. A few days later, the firemen came to clean up the scene and saw the old man standing by the pile of rubble. The soldier asked him why he didn't leave, and he said: "I'm waiting for them to pay me the money."

21-2. One night, Chengdu experienced an earthquake followed by strong winds and heavy rain, which was extremely terrifying. Even at midnight, the streets were full of people. A man nearby was on the phone with his friend, saying, "Damn, it's even an earthquake package deal, both earthquake and wind and rain!"

22. One night when we went out to avoid the aftershocks, it started raining heavily.

At this moment, we heard a young man say an incredibly classic sentence: "Hey, the Lord thoughtfully considered everything, killing people and then cleaning up the crime scene afterward..."

23. One day, I saw a segment on TV where reporters interviewed some people who refused to leave the ruins on the mountain in the disaster area. Most of them were middle-aged and elderly people. The reporter asked them why they didn't go down (to the city's shelters). They said that living in this open area was the same anyway, since rebuilding their homes would start here. It was lunchtime, and those villagers were very enthusiastic in inviting the reporters to eat with them. Their enthusiasm was very natural, and they weren't really paying attention to the camera—it wasn't like they were putting on a show for the lens. The reporters repeatedly declined, but the villagers insisted. The reporters then looked at what they were eating, and it turned out they were eating hot pot!!!!!!! Although it was a simplified version, with only some vegetables and tofu, they all looked very happy. The reporter asked them where the vegetables came from, and an uncle said: "All delivered by the PLA. When the roads were blocked earlier, they were air-dropped. There were so many helicopters! If you stay here a bit longer, you might even see a helicopter!"

24. In Chengdu, one of my male colleagues, on the third day after the earthquake, went to cut his hair into a buzz cut. I asked him why he thought of cutting his hair. He very calmly told me: "Cutting my hair shorter means less resistance when running during aftershocks..."

25. Our office floor was littered with standing pens, and the most talented one was a female colleague who managed to balance an empty cup on the LCD monitor~~~

The latest rules for Chengdu Mahjong are:

Do not play 512

Do not play Blood War to the End

Do not play Wind and Rain

Do not win by Pushover Win

New earthquake couplets:

Upper line: Small quakes don't require running

Lower line: Big quakes can't be escaped, horizontal inscription: Don't run

Upper line: People in the disaster area have no houses to live in, waiting for food and drink in the aftermath

Lower line: People in Chengdu have houses but choose not to live in them, waiting for aftershocks while eating and drinking

Horizontal inscription: Everyone is annoyed (life is difficult)

Upper line: An eight-magnitude earthquake without any warning, delaying tens of thousands of lives

Lower line: Six-magnitude aftershocks exaggerated, disturbing millions of citizens' sleep

Horizontal inscription: Never accurate

Dear Earthquake Brother, let's negotiate. We can't afford it anymore. Let us take a break tonight and get some sleep. You can come back tomorrow if you want to play. Actually, Sichuan isn't fun to visit. Seriously, you should go to Mars.. It's much more comfortable there..

Earthquake Brother said:

Chengdu — a city you don't want to leave once you come

Chengdu — a city with the highest per capita tent ownership nationwide;

Chengdu — a city where every household has inverted empty bottles;

Chengdu — a city where bathing and using the restroom are extremely quick;

Chengdu — a city where toilets are equipped with chocolate and mineral water;

Chengdu — a city that refuses nudity;

Chengdu — a city obsessed with practicing running;

Chengdu — a city you can't escape once you come.

Summary of the "characteristics" of this earthquake: Communication mainly relies on shouting, searching for people mainly relies on dogs, digging mainly relies on hands, transportation mainly relies on walking, and basically no steel reinforcement!

Chairman Mao said: Aftershocks are like playing mahjong. If there's no movement for half a day, it absolutely means something big is coming.

The mood of Chengdu people towards aftershocks is like that of a teenage girl in her first love, fearing that he won't come but also fearing that he'll misbehave.

Recent living conditions of Chengdu people:

Going upstairs with trepidation, entering the door with trembling legs. Sleeping outdoors at night, yawning all day. Hoping for aftershocks minute by minute, eating only after the aftershocks come.

Shaking doesn't kill, scaring does. Scaring doesn't kill, exhausting does. Exhausting doesn't kill, running does. In the end, waiting for an earthquake to not come drives people crazy.

Post-earthquake syndrome

One, originally greeting people by asking, "Have you eaten? Where are you going?" Now, upon meeting people, the first question is, "Where are you sleeping tonight?";

Two, originally caring about where others live, now caring about which floor they live on;

Three, after each aftershock, checking the house for cracks with a magnifying glass;

Four, feeling that the second floor is high;

Five, disliking people who have the habit of leg shaking;

Six, unable to tolerate seeing someone's phone set to vibrate;

Seven, occasionally shaking one's own legs and getting scared;

Eight, becoming extremely nervous when the house shakes, hoping it stops. Once it stops, becoming extremely nervous again, unsure if the earth is gathering energy or if it's the calm before the storm. Either way, whether it shakes or not, extreme tension ensues;

Nine, mobile users decide not to be mobile users anymore, and Unicom users decide not to be Unicom users anymore;

Ten, calculating during idle times how long it takes to rush from one's home on the upper floors to an open space;

Eleven, carrying a bag with important items, never leaving it unattended, or at most keeping it within one meter;

Twelve, doubting one's own senses, constantly seeking confirmation from others: "Did it just shake a bit?";

Thirteen, inevitably checking the cup of water on the table every five minutes;

Fourteen, the first topic among colleagues every day: "Were you woken up by the shaking yesterday?";

Fifteen, suddenly developing an interest in geography;

Sixteen, suddenly developing an interest in survival knowledge.

Seventeen, wearing neatly dressed clothes to sleep, considering: "Should I take off my shoes?"

Eighteen, cultivating a good habit of watching the news, and crying while watching.