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[One]
When the new students arrived, Zhou Leyan was looking for Lin Yichen, making a big fuss, and everyone knew about it. Many people were surprised; Zhou Leyan was such a beautiful girl. On the day of registration, the student union members responsible for welcoming the new students all said that the girl in the white shirt smiled as if she could melt ice. When they checked her file, they were even more shocked. With her scores, she could have gone to several prestigious universities in the north, but no one knew why she chose this ordinary school.
An older female student curiously asked her, but she just smiled, perhaps it was because of Lin Yichen.
The older student didn't understand, "You are so excellent, in the future there will definitely be many good boys vying for your attention. Why do you like a little thug from agriculture?"
Her eyes misted over like the fog on an autumn morning, her face unusually gentle, "No matter how good other boys are, none can compare to him. He's the best."
The older student could only shake her head with a bitter smile, "Love is truly an unreasonable thing."
Even more unimaginable was that Lin Yichen actually rejected her. Everyone watched as Leyan chased after him from the cafeteria all the way to the entrance of the boys' dormitory. The security guard stopped her, and Lin Yichen shook off her hand and told the guard, "I don't know her," then walked away without looking back.
Leyan stood frozen for a moment, then tears streamed down her face uncontrollably. A large crowd gathered around her, but she just bit her lips tightly and remained silent. Moments later, she ran wildly into the boys' dormitory, leaving the stunned security guard behind.
Standing below the boys' dormitory, she screamed at the top of her lungs, "Lin Yichen, why? Lin Yichen, I love you!"
As soon as she shouted, countless heads popped out of the windows. Whistles and cheers filled the air. She kept shouting, and the crowd kept laughing.
After what seemed like a long time, the commotion around her subsided. The boys began to look at her with sympathy and pity. Her throat was hoarse, her face covered in tears, exhausted, yet she continued repeating those two sentences.
"Lin Yichen, I love you."
He never appeared, even the onlookers were getting angry. Leyan wiped her tears with her hands and shouted towards the silent window with all her might, "I won't give up!"
Suddenly, a bucket of water poured down on her, soaking her completely. Even the security guard who rushed over was drenched. She froze, then squatted down covering her mouth, crying bitterly.
A pair of AD sneakers stopped in front of her. Surprisingly, it was a stranger, his face bright like the September sun. He helped her up, handing her throat candy and tissues, saying, "Zhou Leyan, my name is Gu Zhiqi, I'm Lin Yichen's friend. His personality isn't good, let me apologize on his behalf. You should go home now."
She looked at him intently, then smiled gently, shaking her head, "You don't need to apologize for him. I don't blame him. Please tell him that no matter what he does, I will never give up on him."
Gu Zhiqi looked at the determined girl before him, under the golden sunlight, it was as if wings had grown on her. He felt a twinge of pity in his heart, shaking his head, "Alright, I'll tell him."
...
[Two]
After the incident of shouting outside the dormitory, Leyan's fame among the male students increased. Often, people would smile kindly at her on the road, and she would return their smiles.
A beautiful girl, brave, with a touch of naive innocence and stubbornness, it was hard not to adore her.
Leyan paid no attention to various rumors. To her, the whole world revolved around just one person. Every day, she busied herself following Lin Yichen - when he went to class, when he bought cigarettes, when he ate, when he returned to his dormitory. She meticulously recorded everything using the Sony digital camera she earned by working hard during the summer break. At night, she would sit alone in front of the screen, sometimes crying, sometimes laughing.
Her roommates sighed and shook their heads, "Such a smart girl, yet she loves to corner herself."
Finally, Lin Yichen noticed her. At a bus stop where he often waited, he snatched her camera and angrily said, "Are you asking for a beating? Why are you following me?"
For a brief moment, Leyan was flustered, then immediately calmed down and smiled at him, "Lin Yichen, you've finally decided to talk to me."
He hesitated for a moment, involuntarily softening his tone, "What exactly do you want? I don't even know you. Why do you follow me every day, and declare your love in front of so many people? Do you know how many people have been talking about me behind my back?"
She still smiled, "Lin Yichen, no matter what others say, I want to love you. I want to be with you."
His brows furrowed again, "Are you crazy?"
He shoved the camera back at her, "I warn you, stop acting weird and following me."
The cigarette smoke in his hand made her eyes water. She grabbed his hand and asked, "What must I do for you to like me?"
A smirk of disdain crept onto his lips, "Like you? That's impossible. But if you help me chase after An Jinfan from the French department, I won't be mean to you anymore."
Fire flickered in her pupils, "Do you promise?"
He was taken aback by her seriousness, nodded randomly, and climbed aboard the arriving bus, leaving her standing alone at the bus stop staring at the signboard.
Gu Zhiqi was walking to the apartment entrance when he was suddenly called by a sweet voice. Leyan timidly smiled, "Can you do me a favor?"
He took her to a small restaurant near the school gate. As she picked up the steaming soup, big tears rolled down her cheeks. "Gu Zhiqi, tell me, why doesn't he love me?"
He shook his head, "Leyan, how can these things be explained?"
She clenched her teeth, "Then, tell me about him and An Jinfan."
[Three]
At the door of the dance studio, Leyan blankly gazed inside. In the next second, she saw An Jinfan.
Jinfan was so defiant, with crystal-clear eyes and thin lips. Her gaze swept through the room, captivating everyone with her charm. She moved gracefully to the music, even drawing admiration from the women present.
Leyan's heart felt as if it were being torn apart like petals of a flower, yet she mustered the courage to call out, "An Senior."
Jinfan quietly looked at her, paused for a while, then smiled, "You're Zhou Leyan. I've heard a lot about you."
Leyan felt her face heat up, "I've come today to ask Senior for a favor. Please accept Lin Yichen back. He really loves you."
Jinfan laughed instead of getting angry, "Little sister, you must really love him, right?"
Leyan stood tall, "Yes, I love him. Therefore, I hope he is happy."
Jinfan's expression faltered for a moment, then she smiled, "Go back. I cannot forgive him. All I know is, if he misses out on you, it would be too regrettable."
Leyan looked at the beautiful senior ahead of her, misty-eyed, "Thank you, An Senior. Everyone has a string in their heart. When pulled, it hurts. My string is in his hands, but his string is in yours."
Jinfan was speechless for a long time, then reached out and brushed the bangs from Leyan's forehead, sighing, "Zhou Leyan, why are you as foolish as I used to be?"
Tears flowed gently down Leyan's cheeks, "There are so many men in this world, many who treat me well. And he hasn't even properly spoken a word to me. But I, have no choice. An Senior, I love him, there is no other way."
Jinfan felt a sudden dull pain in her heart, her blood rushing back quickly. She seemed to see her former self standing before her current self, shedding tears and uttering those words.
"I love him, there is no other way."
She closed her eyes and slowly nodded, "Zhou Leyan, for your love, I will go see him."
...
[Four]
As Leyan walked alone on the road, she thought about the story Gu Zhiqi had told her about An Jinfan and Lin Yichen.
Two years ago, when Jinfan first entered school, she astonished everyone with her beauty, lighting up the eyes of many. Numerous boys tried to approach her, flattering her, but surprisingly, she actively pursued Lin Yichen.
It was a simple reason. On the first day in the cafeteria, someone accidentally bumped into her, spilling a full basin of hot soup on her. Stunned for two seconds, she let out a sharp scream. Just then, Lin Yichen, who happened to be standing beside her, scooped her up and ran to the faucet to rinse her with cold water. Then, he turned around and bought her burn ointment, scolding her harshly, "Don't cry, you won't die."
Later, Jinfan recounted this event with sweetness in her heart. He was the kind of boy every girl would fall for. His smile carried a hint of mischief, his features carefree, yet somehow imprinted deeply in her heart, impossible to forget. In that instant, she knew, it was him.
Later, when she found him, he no longer remembered her. However, mesmerized by her beauty, he accepted her.
It was the proud princess falling in love with her first person in the most wonderful years of her life, yet receiving unequal affection. Besides her, he had numerous ambiguous relationships. Time and again, she cried to herself, "I love him, there is no other way."
With love as a condition, everything could be forgiven.
Until that Christmas, she brought a carefully selected gift to the bar where he usually hung out. Instead, she saw him kissing a seductive girl. The girl, dodging his advances, laughed and said, "Your girlfriend is a famous beauty and loves you so much. How can you still be so fickle?"
Before she could call out his name, she heard him say dismissively, "What love? I never believed in that stuff. No matter how pretty, she's just another easy target."
The words struck her like thunder, instantly plunging her heart into despair, blood rushing to her head. She could only emit a hoarse scream, slowly walking over as if stepping through her past and present lives, splashing the drink in his face. Tears streamed uncontrollably down her face, yet she held her head high and said, "Lin Yichen, from this moment on, as long as I, An Jinfan, am alive, I will live better than you."
Out of the bar, she hurried back to her dormitory, hugging her blanket in a fit of sobbing. From that point on, they became strangers.
Indeed, she fulfilled her words, striving forward to become a girl admired for both beauty and intelligence. She packed away all the humiliation and pain he had given her, storing them deep within her heart, never touching them again.
Initially, he didn't care. Gradually, in certain sleepless nights, he would blurt out her name. In the scorching afternoon sun, he would suddenly recall the faint fragrance lingering on her body. He couldn't deny that she had already deeply rooted herself in his heart, impossible to remove.
Why did it take so long, only after losing her, only when reminiscing about old times made breathing difficult, did he realize that he loved her so deeply.
Facing his remorse, she firmly shook her head, "I cannot forgive you, never."
He looked at her, "Jinfan, without you, my life will forever be devoid of happiness."
Thinking of this, Leyan looked up at the blue sky, a voice in her heart saying, "Lin Yichen, I must make you happy."
[Five]
Jinfan didn't break her promise to Leyan. Facing Lin Yichen, who was still dispirited, she smiled calmly, "I once loved you without caring about the outcome. You were like a wound in my heart, healed by time, and both love and hate disappeared."
Lin Yichen silently stared at her, this girl who he had once hurt so badly, now able to easily say those two words, "I don't love you anymore."
Time was like a knife, capable of cutting away the thorns of youth and the regrets of love. Nothing is truly forever unchanged. He raised an eyebrow and smiled, "Jinfan, as long as you're happy, that's fine."
She nodded and turned away, then looked back and said, "Don't you think missing out on Zhou Leyan would be a pity? When she looked at me with those clear eyes, I saw myself back then."
But he still smiled and said, "She's not you."
He and Jinfan were destined to stand on opposite shores, the coastline stretching infinitely. The sea separating them was called time.
Leyan went to see Lin Yichen. Before she could speak, she burst into tears, repeatedly apologizing, causing those who heard to feel heartbroken.
Instead, he comforted her, "It's not your fault. Don't cry, you look ugly when you cry."
She continued to cry, "I'm sorry. I promised to make you happy, but I couldn't move An Senior..."
He sighed lightly, reaching out to wipe her tears. She grabbed his large hand fiercely, her eyes fierce and resolute, "She doesn't love you anymore, but I do. I'm here, always loving you. I will always love you, never leaving you."
He withdrew his hand, lowering his head silently. Time passed second by second. Her eyes were left with only ashes, her sobs uncontrollable. "Lin Yichen, I understand."
Turning around, it was a farewell.
Gu Zhiqi received a phone call late at night. She softly asked, "Can you come and drink with me?"
Without a word, he got up from bed, leapt from the second-floor washroom to avoid the security guard, and ran toward her direction.
She had drunk a lot. Her face was like a blooming rose in the dark night, intoxicatingly beautiful. He drank even more than her. They sat on the side of the road, and she suddenly laughed, "I asked you to come and drink with me, why are you drinking my alcohol?"
He fixed his gaze on her, "Because, if possible, I'd rather bear your sorrow for you."
She froze, tears streaming down like heavy rain, burying her head in his chest and sobbing uncontrollably.
He hugged her, "Leyan, the first time I saw you calling Yichen's name downstairs, I was moved. How much must you love someone to have this kind of courage? When I handed you the tissue, you looked up at me, and my heart seemed to stop."
"Leyan, give me a chance. Let me take care of you. I won't let you cry anymore."
...
[Six]
Zhou Leyan seemed to have regained her cheerful demeanor. After the winter break, she called Zhiqi at the entrance of the boys' dormitory, her tone innocent, "Come out quick, I bought you a gift."
The familiar people around them smiled knowingly. It seemed perfect, except when she was about to leave, Leyan finally asked softly, "Is he okay?"
Zhiqi nodded, "He's fine."
She softly responded, "That's good."
This dialogue became their fixed pattern each time they met and parted ways. Each time she mumbled to herself, Zhiqi's heart would ache slightly.
Until that day, he frowned and said, "Not good. While playing basketball, the beads on his wrist accidentally snapped. We searched for a long time but could only find 18 beads, one is missing. That string of beads he wore since childhood, given by his mother from Emei Mountain, is very meaningful."
She listened quietly all along, finally raising her head, resolute, "Zhiqi, take me to the hospital for a sick leave note. I need to take a week off."
He immediately understood her intention, boundless sorrow washing over him like a tidal wave. "Leyan, is it worth it?"
Her eyes sparkled like diamonds, "Because I love, it's worth it."
It felt like a huge hammer striking his heart. Eventually, he nodded, "Alright, I'll take you."
...
[Seven]
On the fifth day of Leyan's departure, Zhiqi received a phone call. After hanging up, his hand balled into a fist, veins popping on his arm, his face turning pale instantly.
Lin Yichen, smoking casually, asked, "Why haven't I seen that girl Zhou Leyan come to find you recently? Did you guys have a quarrel? Girls, just coax them a bit..." Before he finished, Zhiqi's punch sent him sprawling on the ground. Dazed on the floor, he instantly became furious, yelling at Zhiqi, "Are you crazy? Are you mad because you quarreled with her, and taking it out on me?"
Zhiqi stared at him intensely, his eyes gradually reddening, "Lin Yichen, we will never have the chance to see her again. She had an accident. On the Golden Summit of Mount Emei, she fell trying to save a child. The rescuers searched for days and only found her bag, then they called me. They said the chances of survival are extremely slim..."
He struggled to finish speaking, his body collapsing like mud, tears rapidly gathering in his eyes. "Lin Yichen, she was such a good girl. For your love, she disregarded her dignity and shouted your name downstairs. For you, she begged Jinfan to come back to you. Rejected by you, she hid and drank alone. When she heard about your broken beads, she didn't hesitate to take leave and go to Mount Emei..."
"Lin Yichen, she was such a good girl, why wouldn't you love her?"
Lin Yichen couldn't believe it, eyes wide open, "Impossible, you're not playing a joke on me, are you?" There was a childlike innocence in his eyes, "You must have conspired together to fool me."
But Zhiqi just stared at him, shaking his head, again and again. His anger and sadness flared like flames, his breath rapid like heavy rain. "Aren't you her boyfriend? Why did you tell her about my affairs? Why didn't you accompany her!"
Tears overflowed from Zhiqi's eyes, "I'm not her boyfriend. That night, I confessed to her, and she cried and refused me. Later, the scenes you saw were because she still couldn't let go of you, wanting to hear news about you from me. Since she was 14, she has loved you. Until now, her entire life, she has only ever loved you."
In Lin Yichen's sorrowful and bewildered eyes, Zhiqi revealed the story Leyan had told him that night.
...
[Eight]
At seven years old, Leyan followed her mother to remarry, hiding behind her mother, afraid to show her face. Her mother pinched her arm hard, demanding her to call the stepfather "Dad" and the stepsister "Sister."
The newly reconstituted family could never be complete. In the exhausting and trivial life, her mother transformed into an explosive and sharp-tongued woman, venting all her resentment towards her biological father on Leyan. Her stepfather was a simple and crude man, relying on physical labor to support the family. And the stepsister secretly bullied her, stealing her nice clothes, hiding her exercise books, then throwing them away.
There were endless arguments and complaints, fights during which she would only tremble and hide behind the door.
Life for her was nothing but repeated suffering. The young Leyan seemed to see no hope, only longing to grow up quickly to escape this broken family.
At fourteen, in her second year of junior high school, due to her outstanding grades, she was isolated by the entire class. On the list for the school sports meet, she saw her name under the 3000-meter race. The PE committee member grinned and said mockingly, "For the honor of the class, you must perform well."
While running, she felt as if her entire heart would burst out of her chest. Her mouth was filled with the taste of blood. The finish line seemed impossibly far away. She only felt the vast emptiness of the world, not knowing how many laps she had run, until she collapsed from exhaustion. In that moment of collapse, she heard the sound of the old shirt she was wearing tearing at the chest.
She lay despondently on the ground, imagining the mocking faces of those around her, wishing for a deity to rescue her.
Truly, a deity came. He ran from afar, took off his jacket, wrapped it around her, carried her off the track, gave her warm water to drink, clumsily wiped her tears, and consoled her, "Don't cry."
She saw the school ID card hanging from his chest, inscribed with his name, Lin Yichen.
From then on, she became like his little shadow, trailing behind him, and secretly vowed to have a camera specifically to record his image.
Back then, he was still a peaceful and radiant boy, until a mistaken investment by his father led to financial ruin, and his mother left him. After that, he changed completely. No one ever saw his smile again.
She also learned about his situation, her young heart filled with sorrow. She went to pray, knocking her head until it bled, making only one wish: Buddha, please grant him happiness.
By the time she was in her third year of high school, his academic performance had deteriorated drastically. He filled out the application form for a random university and disappeared. Two years later, she resolutely gave up her scholarship opportunity and filled in the place where he was. In the temple, she told the Bodhisattva, "He is the first warmth in my life, worth following for a lifetime."
Buddha smiled but remained silent.
She worked for two months during the summer vacation to buy a camera. At a nearby bus stop in the new school, she saw him smoking, still handsome, but with a trace of melancholy in his eyes. At that moment, her heart ached painfully.
Perhaps there were many delinquent boys in the world, but the one who could pierce her heart was only him.
Thus, regardless of his reputation, no matter how many people said he didn't believe in love, she loved him with the fervor of a moth flying into fire, ignoring societal judgment, only for the unintentional warmth he once gave her, the lonely and unsupported her.
For one day of grace from you, I will forsake my entire life.
She certainly hadn't expected that, until the end, she would still not hear him say, "I love you."
...
[Nine]
Lin Yichen refused to attend Leyan's funeral. He couldn't imagine how it would feel to see her lively figure lying quietly in a cold tomb. He believed that as long as he didn't see her body, she would surely come back.
Jinfan and Zhiqi brought back the prayer beads Leyan had sought from Mount Emei and the digital camera in her backpack. Afterwards, he locked himself in his room, refusing to see anyone.
He viewed all the photos in the camera, a total of 437 pictures. Among them, there was one of him standing at the bus stop smoking. Anyone who saw that photo could almost feel the photographer's anxious and nervous emotions.
She truly loved him with all her life.
Lin Yichen looked at the photos, and tears poured down uncontrollably.
In the following days, he would often write letters to her. Each letter contained only one sentence: "Where are you, my dear? I miss you."
He obstinately believed that one day she would come back.
If she didn't return