I know a very talented young woman. Just in her early 30s, she had already obtained a master's degree in business administration and was managing a small department at a very successful fashion company. She had both design inspiration and business acumen, a rare combination that gave her the qualities needed to be an excellent fashion director. Her boss at the company noticed this. When the company's director left, the boss promoted my friend to take over the position.
But my friend had her own concerns. If she accepted the position, she would move away from her beloved fashion design and focus more on financial and trade-related matters. Most importantly, she would also have to deal with the unpredictable moods of her boss - something that was neither her forte nor interest.
On the other hand, it was almost a godsend! An unparalleled honor! This experience would not only add a great line to her resume but also come with a very attractive salary package. To become the director of the company at such a young age? How could she refuse?
So she accepted the job.
The first few months were torturous, as she had expected. What she didn't expect was that things wouldn't improve. She became proficient in finance and even enjoyed that part of the work, but the office politics between her and her boss drained her energy. Slowly, this issue began to affect other areas; the sales of designed products started to decline, and the boss became increasingly tense and erratic.
A few years later, she resigned from the company.
If you think about it carefully, the entire outcome was predictable.
Each of us has an "optimal effectiveness point." At this point, everything seems to go smoothly; we feel happy, competent, harmonious with our surroundings, and believe ourselves to be talented and destined for success. This point feels magical, but it's not: it's the best intersection of our strengths, weaknesses, passions, and unique traits.
My friend accepting this job was deviating from her optimal effectiveness point.
This situation is not uncommon. Among the more than 10,000 people who took the productivity test on my website, a full 72% admitted they were doing work they were neither good at nor passionate about.
That's a mistake. We must plan our work and lives so that we are exactly at that intersection. If not, we will definitely fail. There might be initial success, but that success is unsustainable.
Why do we stray from our optimal effectiveness point? Sometimes it's because we want to learn. One reason my friend accepted that position was to gain experience for running her own business.
There’s another tempting factor at play: pride. A completely new job sounds very appealing, comes with a handsome salary, and is highly recognized by others. So we think we should accept it, even though deep down we may feel it's not quite right.
A few years ago, I was invited to become a board member of a non-profit organization. I was flattered and accepted the position. But after just a few meetings, my enthusiasm began to wane. I liked the organization and its members, but that wasn't enough to make me truly invest time in this matter. I lacked sufficient passion for it, and the role required me to be a strong fundraiser, which was undoubtedly one of my weak points. In other words, this job didn't meet two out of the four conditions of my optimal effectiveness point.
More crazily, a year later, they asked me to become the chairman of the board, and I accepted again. I lasted a year.
Why did I accept? I have to awkwardly admit that the main reason was that I liked the fact that I was the chairman of the board, even though this role took me away from my optimal effectiveness point.
At first glance, you might think this dilemma can be resolved by distinguishing what you want and what others want from you. And these two are easily distinguishable.
But reality is much more complicated. In fact, this dilemma entirely stems from within us: it's the conflict between what we want and what we think we must want, and these two are hard to distinguish.
But even in this complex situation, there's a simple way to evaluate opportunities when they arise. Next time you receive an "offer you can't refuse," ask yourself if it places you precisely at your optimal effectiveness point. If not, you'll know what to do.
As for my friend? She eventually opened her own company, designing styles herself, which she loved, and often involved herself in marketing and financial affairs. Office politics? Hardly any.
Of course, the company was very successful because she was right at her optimal effectiveness point.
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