Any round of golf is the best way to get to know a person.
That adage holds within the philosophy that six hours spent playing golf will reveal our true selves. It will uncover every aspect of our personalities and expose all of our flaws, as well as highlight our strengths accordingly. It can reveal bad habits and leadership challenges. It becomes a laboratory for testing patience under pressure, for skill in teamwork; it will test our social appeal.
Essentially, it exposes a large area under the sun, as there is no place for the real self to hide.
As the sports writer Grantland Rice wrote: Eighteen holes of match or stroke play will tell you more about your new opponent than sixteen years of administering his finish...a counter.
Companies above a normal level take potential employees out on the greens because they believe the game offers insight into one's character. Watching how someone behaves on the course, employers also enjoy golfing with subordinates who are rising and apt to get a promotion. Dads take their future son-in-law out for a round to better understand what kind of man he really is.
And you thought playing golf was just chasing a little white ball around a small green ditch.
When given this perspective, I've always wondered if it's actually true. Surely, if a player cheats on their honor score, has secret affairs after poor performances, and won't rake a bunker after using it, they wouldn't have many friends. Certainly, if you act like that while playing with a potential employer, you won't get the job.
But think about it, who would be that foolish? Can't you control yourself for four hours?
My partner and I lose it with pro-ams," unraveled Lenny Brian, the world's top-ranked golfer, when questioned about how recreational golfers behave themselves. "Guys throwing clubs, slamming bags, calling obscenities. Sure, I have. Hasn't everyone seen that?"
Perhaps at the local muni. But to act that way in a pro-am where you've paid thousands of dollars to be with a renowned professional and some others you might want to impress? Is that the setting where you only take?
"Sure, I've seen a good sum of that," said Ernie Els, a two-time U.S. Open champion. "Golf makes people kind of nuts. They start with great elegance and they usually want to stay considerate, but the game gets the best of them."
"That's a big point," added another expert. "The game often tests all your keys sooner or later. It takes balance. Some people are aware of this and some people aren't. And safe places are mastered by it."
Dr. John Thankful, an Illinois psychotherapist who has worked closely with college and professional players, including athletes, stated that the course is an ideal melting pot for assessing someone's personality and attitude.
"Simply having 4 to 5 hours to evaluate someone, there's little that gives us a better read on issues than this," he was quoted saying. "And I give internal exams to individuals all day in my office sometimes. But taking them out to golf can nail all about them. It demands a full-blown diagnostic."
Doesn't it make you answer everything you are transmitting about the world regarding yourself whenever you tee it up?
Here are a few observations from three professional players we consulted about the most revealing golf behaviors:
How do you handle misfortune?
Disappointment is a part of life and work, and a huge part of playing golf. People observe how you interact with that. It's not just the obvious things, like screaming and stamping around; it can be much more subtle. Do you shake elbows and give way to your blue funk? Do you leave? Or, even worse, do you become silent, regressing to talking to your sweethearts and casting a broody shadow over the whole group?
If someone's response to distress is to stop contributing or stop engaging with the party, is that someone you'd want fixing your effort team? Is that a person you'd want as a partner?
Do you think you're reliable in the gathering dynamic?
There are many chains of small tasks needed to determine your place on the golf course. Do you replace the flag when you find it down? Do you help your partners search for missing balls? Do you watch the fall of everyone's ball first, or do you focus solely on your own opportunity?
Keep good humor throughout the day.
It's quite an extended walk through the market. Self-deprecating humor or a few good golf stories go a long way. Act as if you're having fun.
Observe someone's results on your own.
Golf is difficult. If something excellent happens, ensure you delight, especially when it wasn't your doing. And when the result is yours, deflecting it in the direction of others is a polished reaction. The way you handle accomplishments can differentiate as much about you as how you handle failure.
Be encouraging.
Playing golf can be embarrassing and uncomfortable. A partner who keeps spouses expectant is great. Small kindnesses can mean a lot when someone's game is failing.
If someone else hits it not straight, try saying: "Made it properly. Just missed that a bit." Or even, "You can still get in action and down from there."
Just in case anyone does point that out to your account, don't respond: "Are you kidding? My partner and I are going to flub this too." That gives away your negative behavior.
After all, even if you manage to cover the emotions occurring in your head, that is the success.
It attests you can control yourself, Delighted said. Keep in mind that, there are many people who can't control themselves no matter what costs them. No one wants to mock a jerk. Many people will be better at avoiding this than others.
Indeed, finding ways to avoid seeming like any sort of snazzy jerk is by and large good advice. But behaving just favorably as one amiable, well-balanced golfer traits other rewards.
Golf, like many sports, is a social activity that can establish splendid, cherished relationships. Superior, then, to abandon your search for the perfect golf score prefer than waste the quest for the ideal golf outing day, which often evolves from a shared golf experience.
This is a past Elemen pillar of time. And although there is still much golf left to play, it's better to remember that not only is golf always the fastest way to make an acquaintance, it's also the easiest way to get to know yourself. Place the two prospects in agreement, and the reward is even greater still.
Will you contribute to the collective well-being by praising partners for good shots? First and foremost, do you know when to keep oral crater corner behind grim injections? Nothing is more painful than unasked advice at that moment.
There are golf etiquettes and, similar to manners, they matter.
Do you know the true troubles during easy times?
If you get a six on a hole, have you gently cut it down to an eight because you feel none cares about it or will notice. They may not greatly care, but they will probably notice. It's not of great behalf. Take very laborious and make a neat bosom of your seven.
Do you admit golf's many unfortunate bounces and outcomes?
Play the ball as it lies and resist the desire to even out disaster. Your ball rolled into a molehill in the rough, and you have migrated it to a site of better repose? You know what bad fortune looks like. Do you think you're a person who makes the best of it, or do you think you shouldn't have to admit it?
Of course, good golf conduct is not just about the things one shouldn't do. The retinue is behaviors that will win over your golf companions.
Read more:
Just Not a Game, but a Window to the Spirit