Xiaoming's Composition
Weifang, August 9th - (Reporters Guo Qielin and Sun Xiang) What is happiness? A sixth-grade student in Weifang who has suffered from his parents' divorce wrote in his graduation exam composition: "Happiness is actually a happy and harmonious family, where the three of us eat dinner together every day."
Recently, Xiaoming's (pseudonym) mother called our newspaper after seeing her son's composition, appealing to everyone to treat marriage carefully and protect children's young hearts.
At Xiaoming's mother's home, I saw this Chinese language test paper. It was the graduation essay question for the sixth grade of a certain primary school, with two options: one was to write about the subject you like most, and the other was to write an essay starting with "Happiness is...". The 11-year-old Xiaoming chose the latter, titled "Happiness is Having a Happy Family", narrating his complex emotions of hope and disappointment. This essay was worth a full score of 30 points, and the examiner only deducted 1 point.
The full text of the essay is about 700 words, in which it is written, "How can a child lacking maternal love be happy! I often dream of playing joyfully with my parents, but for me, this is something that can only be dreamed of." The article expresses the longing for reunion after losing a happy family. "If heaven gives me another chance, I would not choose to be born into a family without maternal or paternal love." This 11-year-old child hopes that he will no longer suffer, soon escape the memory filled only with tears and no happiness, and start a new life.
Xiaoming's mother said, "I found this composition while tidying up Xiaoming's schoolbag... My son is too pitiful! Children are innocent; no matter what happens between adults, they should not harm the child!" This mother shed tears. She said that after the family changed due to divorce, Xiaoming became silent, addicted to the Internet, and his academic performance declined. He kept his head down all day and didn't like talking to others. Her colleagues also noticed the change in the child.
Xiaoming's homeroom teacher is also his Chinese teacher. This teacher told the reporter, "Xiaoming's studies have indeed become a bit relaxed, and sometimes he seems absent-minded in class." He also said, "Xiaoming's writing is very touching. We are worried about this child's situation. We hope he doesn't carry this mood into middle school." Excerpt from the composition:
After the divorce, I lived with my father. However, how can a child lacking maternal love be happy! I often dream of playing joyfully with my parents...
When I learned about their divorce, I initially didn't believe it, but I couldn't control my tears.
If heaven gave me another chance, I would not choose to be born into a family without maternal or paternal love.
I deeply hope that I can stop feeling pain in the future, quickly escape those memories filled only with tears and no happiness, and start a new life. Mother: Xiaoming is "indifferent" to everything.
Xiaoming's mother, Ms. Liu, said, "After the divorce, the child stayed with his father, and Xiaoming could only come to me once or twice every two weeks." Ms. Liu told the reporter, "I have always wanted to save this marriage, but in the end, I still couldn't avoid hurting the child."
Ms. Liu kept wiping away her tears with a tissue: "After reading his composition, Xiaoming patted me and said 'It's all my fault, don't cry anymore.' I called his father and asked him to come over. I said, 'Look, this is what your son has become!' His father said, 'Son, accept it, slowly get used to it.'"
After the divorce, this mother noticed changes in her child. "The child learned to steal money, lie, and became addicted to the Internet."
This mother said that the child's father did not care which junior high school Xiaoming could attend, but Xiaoming said it would be better if he couldn't find a school because studying wasn't interesting anyway.
"Now, Xiaoming's catchphrase is 'whatever,' he says 'whatever' about everything. If I don't let him use the Internet, he says 'Let me go online, it's the happiest thing, I can forget everything.'"
Ms. Liu appeals that adults should think more about their children. (Sun Xiang and Guo Qielin)
Experts: Don't Let Children Feel Like "The Sky Has Fallen"
Teacher Liu Minying from Weifang Xinhua Middle School and mentor at the Weifang Primary and Secondary Students Growth Guidance Station told reporters that divorce itself is nothing to criticize, but when children encounter their parents' divorce during their growth period, most of them feel as if "the sky has fallen," believing they are inferior to other children and carrying a heavy psychological burden.
Liu Minying said that in the teaching process, she discovered that the proportion of single-parent children in schools is increasing, and these students are becoming increasingly difficult to manage. Liu Minying said that before junior high school, it is an important stage for emotional growth. At this time, the divorce of parents has a much greater impact on their emotional growth than on their intelligence development. A large part of children who experience their parents' divorce early differ from children in normal families in terms of personality, behavior habits, and emotional cultivation. Children from single-parent families often suffer from psychological imbalance due to the lack of paternal or maternal love and tend to go to extremes.
Liu Minying said that currently, China's laws and regulations impose relatively few restrictions on parents. In developed Western countries, the divorce rate is also high, but the law requires both parties involved in a divorce to ensure that the child receives parental love.
She suggests that both parties in a divorce gradually help the child accept the reality of the breakdown of the parent relationship, remove psychological defenses and obstacles, and preserve a warm space for the child's growth. (Sun Xiang and Guo Qielin)