Suppose that

The Life-and-Death Love of Leftover Women

Suppose

Column: Poetry Added Time: January 13, 2011 2:00:52 PM Source: admin Clicks: 32

If time could rewind to before May 12, 2008, (Xiancai Chaoren preface, selected prose and fiction from a literary website, Xiancai Chaoren Part Twelve - Pickles and the Witch)

If my father were still alive

If my mother were still alive

If my wife were still here

If my son were still with me

If I were still like usual

In the evening, our family would sit together at the dining table

Watching TV

Eating the food cooked by my mother

How happy I would be

But

When I was happy, I didn't feel it

Now that everything is gone, I seek the past again

If my legs were still healthy

And I could go to work as usual

Even if my rival got promoted

And I received criticism from my boss

I would still smile happily

Unfortunately

At times I should have smiled, I didn't laugh

At times I should have cried, I couldn't shed a tear

If there wasn't care from society

If there wasn't support from all directions

If there weren't so many strangers coming to rescue

If the government hadn't stepped in

If I had been born in an old era

If I had encountered disasters like the early Yellow River breach or the Huayuankou Incident

How could I ever laugh?

How could I still be in this world?

If these disasters hadn't happened

If I were still intact

Every day I would walk briskly

Just to make money

Every day I would be busy

All for fame and profit

How would I think about the dinner table at home every night

And the joyous faces of my family

If these disasters hadn't occurred

My heart would have been filled with thoughts only of myself

How could I remember to be grateful to those strange faces

If there were no disasters

Ah, dear relatives and compatriots

In the past, I only knew to be careful and guarded against unfamiliar faces

How could I have known you are my benefactors

You are my saviors

We are connected like lips and teeth, flesh and blood

If there were no disasters

How could I not realize I have a great country

I have kind compatriots

I have so much more precious wealth than money

I have so much more meaningful property than self-interest

In the past

I had everything

But I never felt warmth

Today

My family is broken

My body is incomplete

But my heart has become tender

It has shed its calluses