To the General Manager whose Mandarin isn't standard:
If you want me to retire early, just say it! Don't keep calling me "born as a pig" (资深的) during company meetings. —— From an old potato who is sure he was born from his mother.
To the disgusting younger brother:
When asked why you use five fingers in turns to pick your nose, please don't answer me with: "Each finger gives a different feeling." —— Left by Sister Small Nose
To the heartbroken boss:
I think the reason the company went bankrupt might also have something to do with its name?! —— Left by an employee of Huidao Co., Ltd.
To Big Eyes:
Please stop envying me and saying every time: "It's so good to have small eyes; you won't be noticed by teachers when dozing off in class!" Okay? —— Left by Small Eyes, who doesn't know whether to feel pitiful or relieved.
To the quick-witted grandma:
That day when you were on the bus, after the driver of No. 252 suddenly braked and you lost your balance, you actually asked the driver: "What do you need me for?" —— Left by a student who finds you super cute.
To the weird math teacher:
Is it true what you said about putting "Viagra" into the noodles, and they will stand up? —— Left by a student who thinks you're bluffing.
To my eight-year-old daughter:
Please don't ask me in public: "Mom, where is my 'condom'?" Oh my God! It's called "the big cover for insurance policies," okay? —— Left by a mom who wants to disappear on the spot.
To my genius son:
Although you are afraid that classmates might smell your fart, I don't think lowering your head and inhaling hard can absorb all the smell. —— Left by a mom who doubts why you always score 100 in Chinese exams during midterms.