1. Female: There will be one more person in our family.
Male: Who's coming? Female...
Male: Who?
Female: Fool.
Male: Are you pregnant? Haha, I'm going to be a dad (gradually overjoyed, then picked up the female and spun around).
Female: Be careful, hehe. Male (looking foolish): Oh, right, right! Be careful with our baby (seems surprised that his sperm survived).
The above scenario usually only appears in movies or TV dramas.
2. Second wife: I'm pregnant.
Some rich guy: Isn't Xiao Li coming often recently? To be honest, otherwise I'd let you starve, nnnd, don't you know I had a vasectomy years ago? (slaps her)
3. Female: I'm pregnant.
Male: No way! Don't we always use condoms?
Female: Not really. A few nights ago when you were drunk, you didn't use a condom when we did it.
Male: Ah! Why didn't you stop me? Why? Don't you know how serious this is? I'm not ready to get married yet. You're so young, do you want to rush into the grave of marriage? No, get rid of it, dear. I'll love you even more!
4. Female subordinate: I'm pregnant.
Some leader: What? Mine?
Female subordinate: Whose else?
Some leader: This won't do. This will have adverse effects on a harmonious society, disrupt spiritual civilization construction, violate family planning policies, break up both our families, and be detrimental to stability and unity. Aren't you a comrade with awareness? You should prioritize the bigger picture and not betray all these years of the organization's cultivation of you. Here's what we'll do, I'll have Sister Li accompany you to the hospital for an abortion, take a few days off. There's also a deputy section chief position open in Department XX, you can take office next week. I still have high expectations for you!
5. Female: I'm pregnant?
Male: What? How could you be so careless? How are you going to continue working as a hostess? How are you going to receive clients? Are you crazy? You can't even support me. How can you support another? Do you want us to starve? You've killed me with anger, do I have it easy? ----- Words of a man living off his partner.
6. Female: I'm pregnant?
Male: Really!
Female: What should we do? My dad will kill me.
Male: Who cares, let's go to your house, I bet your dad won't dare ask for 80,000 yuan in gifts now! Hehe!
7. Female: I'm pregnant?
Male: Mine? Female: I'm not sure. It could be you, or it could be XX, or XX, or XX, I'm not clear myself.
Male: Shit, get a DNA test after it's born. ----- An extremely open-minded couple.
8. Third-rate actress: I'm pregnant.
Some director: Shit, how did this happen? Get rid of it.
Third-rate actress: Fine, but I want to play the lead role in this movie.
Some director: That's not appropriate, is it?
Third-rate actress: Whatever, anyway I've already recorded it. Find an entertainment reporter and stir it up, and I still worry about not becoming famous? (picks up phone) Hello, XX Gossip Newspaper? I have some juicy gossip, are you interested in my story with a certain director that must be told?
Some director (snatches phone): Isn't it just the lead role? Go for a screen test tomorrow.
9. Female: I'm pregnant?
Domestic soccer star: No way, how am I supposed to live like this? Don't you know we soccer players are treated worse than migrant workers?
10. Secretary: I'm pregnant?
Some boss: No way! My wife can't find out.
Secretary: What should we do?
Some boss: Let's go look at apartments at XX Garden tomorrow, buy one, and you can settle down there. Don't worry, as long as you behave, I'll take full responsibility, and give your child and you a name at the appropriate time.
11. In the morning, the wife comes to the bedside holding a pregnancy test strip: Look.
Husband: What?
Wife: I'm pregnant.
Husband: Oh, it's about time (continues sleeping). Finally, I don't have to quit drinking. Let's have a few drinks tonight with the guys to celebrate.