I.
She didn't know whether she was a tender-hearted or a cold-hearted person. Last night, when she was unable to sleep due to her drunken husband's smell, she cursed him several times.
First, she thought that next time he drank again, she would runaway with her daughter, the dog, the turtle, and the goldfish. They went to the big shed of Happiness Garden where more than ten men who were almost 50 years old were drinking and talking loudly. What did they talk about? She didn't set it up because she never knew what topics her husband and his friends would discuss over drinks, making him drunk every time. They and they came to the seat beside her husband at the round table, and she handed over the house key to him with a pleasant face. He knew she only had one key and she stayed at home every day, so she didn't need another drawer key for her exclusive use. Sometimes he helped her lock the drawer and put the key in another unlocked drawer. Those times mainly happened when their daughter's classmates played at home for a long time, or when their whole family returned to their hometown for holidays and no one was at home. Afterwards, he would open the drawer again, put the key back in the unlocked drawer, restoring it to her preferred casual state.
She handed the house key to him, he was stunned for a second, then immediately said: "Sorry, sorry, my buddies are happy today. I was just saying I should go home." He repeated this sentence over and over again, and she pitied his expression. He was her husband, her daughter's father, and the head of the household. He didn't have to act like this. But she wasn't angry by his obvious lie, still remaining calm and composed: "It's fine, enjoy yourself." Then she pulled her daughter to leave. The daughter called the dog to go, but it didn't want to, as it was excitedly placing its front paws on his leg seeking affection. She turned back and called the dog: "Baby, say goodbye to daddy, we're leaving."
Her husband got nervous and said: "Let's go together, I was going to go home anyway." That group of middle-aged men all chimed in helpfully saying: "Old Lin said he should go home earlier, really." The oldest Li Brother even said: "Really, we can all testify. Give me some face, I'll drive you home." Another person said: "Climb your mother's Li Brother, you can't even stand steady, what do you want to do? Sister-in-law, wait a moment, I'll call a driver to send you home."
She didn't answer because she saw her two younger brothers playing cards here. It was originally very noisy here, and also because she hadn't lost her temper, their appearance didn't attract the attention of people at other tables. At this point, her tears fell like broken beads. She finally couldn't control herself and shouted: "Younger brother, if you two want to die, go home first and kill our parents, so they won't end up losing their sons in old age after working hard all their lives. If you want to die, do it quickly. Don't engage in this kind of slow suicide. Leave your wives with a bit of youth, don't make them old and unattractive, and make it hard for them to remarry."
Actually, she didn't shout out loud. She knew that no matter how impulsive she was, she wouldn't shout loudly in public.
II.
The vomiting sound that lasted non-stop for an hour and a half in the bathroom finally stopped. She lay in bed, thinking: he has died. At this moment, she really hoped he was dead. His alcoholism had driven her to despair. But she didn't want a divorce, she didn't want their marriage to end like that. He came home at 3 o'clock in the morning, the sound of unlocking and the three chimes of the clock told her the exact time. After entering, he first went to the kitchen to drink water, couldn't hold it in, and sprayed it into the sink. Then he rushed to the bathroom, turned on the shower, and started rinsing his mouth. The water in his throat made "uh uh" sounds for a long time, then he cleared his throat, "ka ka", followed by vomiting. The shower was also left on, water flowing continuously. She felt sorry for the natural gas and tap water, impulsively wanting to turn off the water valve and gas valve several times, but she didn't want to see his appearance. When she had no strength left to feel sorry, he turned off the faucet. However, he was still vomiting. She was exhausted by the sound, but she just lay there, not even thinking of taking care of him. She kept chanting spells: "Die, die..." When all the sounds disappeared, she suddenly stopped chanting, then her soul scattered, she slept without any signs of life...
He was dead. She thought. He fell in the bathtub next to the toilet, naked.
At 6 in the morning, she woke up her daughter who was in the second year of junior high school. She took an old porcelain basin placed on the window guardrail into her daughter's room, telling her that her father had made the bathroom too dirty last night, so she shouldn't go in. Her daughter asked: "Where's dad?" She answered: "Still sleeping." Then she closed the door to their bedroom. Her daughter was a clean person, she wouldn't go to a dirty and smelly place. She also wouldn't go to her parents' bedroom in the morning. She went to the kitchen to make breakfast for her daughter. There was vomit splashed in the sink. She endured the nausea, used a small brush for washing the dog bowl dipped in detergent to scrub the sink, then used the tooth cup to rinse it with water. Her daughter asked her where to pour the urine? She took the basin with half a basin of yellowish urine, poured it into the sink for washing mops, her daughter said: "Disgusting."
She washed her hands, took out the rice bowl from the steamer with a dishcloth, then put the dishcloth into the boiling water in the pot for disinfection. She always seized every opportunity for disinfection. After filling the water bottle for her daughter to take to school, she went back to bed as usual. When the wall clock in the study struck seven, her daughter said: "Mom, I'm going to school." She said: "Be careful on the way." The metal security door clanged, and her daughter went to school. The dog that had been lying outside the bathroom door came to her bedside with a "chi cha chi cha", putting its dog face on her pillow. She got up, without changing her pajamas. The dog followed her feet to knock on the bathroom door. No response, she turned around to look for keys in the drawers of the TV cabinet in the living room. After searching through three drawers and finding nothing, she turned into the study, and the dog followed. She finally found it in a drawer of a bookcase. Six keys strung together, each with a piece of tape indicating "Master Bedroom, Child Bedroom" etc. She opened the door and saw him curled up naked, his head hanging on his left shoulder, saliva dripping from the corner of his mouth. She felt his carotid artery, there was no sign of pulse. The dog's front paws rested on the edge of the bathtub, its head turning left and right, looking at her curiously, then sniffing, wagging its tail, then letting out a hum and retreating to the door.