392714 Log Web

"Dad, school starts today. When are you going to transfer my tuition fee? I need to pay it!"

"Maybe in the next life!"

"Will we still be father and daughter in the next life?"

"Uh-huh!"

"Then you must be very rich in the next life! I want a very rich dad in my next life!"

"Haha! Alright!"

"Hahaha..."

A few days ago, I was teasing Dad on the phone. Now I take paying tuition as something that Dad has to do; I've gotten used to it! I haven't realized that I'm already a young adult now, not a student anymore. The title of 'student' no longer belongs to me. To be honest, I wasn't a good student; I was a troublesome one for the teachers. Now when I think about Mr. Qiao's disappointed eyes and Mr. Zheng's urgent calls, I feel really sorry about how I caused them so much trouble back then. But it seems like I'm still causing trouble now, still getting scolded. When will I truly stop being a worry? It seems like I've become mature, locking many fantasies inside my heart. I've gradually started to feel the power of quietness, slowly learning to look at things calmly and with foresight...

Now I can only find some happiness in Dad's teasing. Many friends have lost contact. Occasionally thinking of them brings memories of past laughter and good times. We're all busy with our own work, too preoccupied to care whether our friendships have changed flavor. There are fewer topics to talk about. "How are you recently?" "So-so!" And then there's nothing more to say. It seems like friendship is the same: when the connection ends, people part ways. Passing by, having been through, thought about, that's the whole process! Everyone has their own solitary path. No one can accompany you the entire journey. No one will walk with you until the end!

It's been a long time since I last wrote an article. Now when I want to write, I can barely squeeze out a few words. Drawing circles seems easier. I always lament how time flies, yet at the same time feel the long nights are hard to endure. I console myself saying, "Believe that life is beautiful," but it seems like I can't see any hope. I keep yearning, hesitating, and feeling lost... Closing my eyes, I feel that I don't fit in with this world, unable to find my own footprints or proof of my existence. Even childhood dreams seem unreachable now, like they're just dreams, soap bubbles that will soon burst into nothingness. There's nothing left to believe in!

Once a person loses faith in certain people or things, it's a terrifying thing. You'll feel as if you're stranded in a desert, helpless, empty, lonely, desolate - using all these adjectives still doesn't fully describe the feeling! What kind of state is that? Isn't it a bit scary? I often dream of myself walking alone in the desert, no one before or behind me, thinking of the vastness of heaven and earth, shedding tears alone... Then I wake up crying, and after that, can't fall asleep for a long time... Time is truly a fearsome devil. It takes away so many things, yet leaves nothing behind! Except for wounds, there's nothing left but scars...